Perfectly Normal: Living and Loving with Low Libido [Paperback]

Sandra Pertot (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 13, 2005

Challenging assumptions about sex in our society, a noted sex therapist shows women how to start living and loving with genuine pleasure regardless of where they fall on the libido meter
How strong does a woman's sex drive have to be to be considered "normal"? Are widespread myths about frequent, lusty lovemaking ruining couples' sex lives? At various points in their lives, one in every three women rate themselves as lacking any interest in sex. Challenging unrealistic expectations that are leaving many couples disappointed and dissatisfied with their intimate lives, psychologist Sandra Pertot, Ph.D., in Perfectly Normal, reassures women who fear that their diminished desire is proof that there is something terribly wrong with them or with their relationship.

Dr. Pertot examines what constitutes "good sex" and explores ways to resolve the problem when a couple's needs and wants don't match-without either partner being made to feel inadequate or abnormal. It makes no sense, Dr. Pertot insists, to label low libido as sexual dysfunction when the numbers suggest it is "perfectly normal." Her provocative book points the way to a new view of relationship sex, and new hope for couples to stop berating themselves and each other for what they don't have-and derive maximum pleasure out of intimacy.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

SANDRA PERTOT, PH.D., is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in private practice. She has been published in Woman's Day, Penthouse, and many publications in Australia where she lives.

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Rodale Books (January 13, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1579548849
• ISBN-13: 978-1579548841
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #308,601 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I'm normal, March 10, 2008

By 

Jane (NSW, Australia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Perfectly Normal: Living and Loving with Low Libido (Paperback)

This book is a must for any woman of any age who worries there is something wrong with her because she doesn't have hot, lusty feelings for sex, or who often finds breast or genital stimulation is a turn off rather than a turn on if she is not already relaxed and feeling intimate. It's nice to know this is "perfectly normal" for many women, and Sandra explains why so many women feel that way. She doesn't promise to have the solutions for you to get these lusty feelings, but then, as she says, no sex therapist can or should make this promise. Instead, she gently supports you to not be discouraged by this but to explore your own sexuality, and to find your own reasons for wanting sex. She shows you the way to break the vicious negative cycle you and your partner have been in, and to confidently build a good sex life together. Once you have read it, get your partner to read it as well.

10 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Men Bashing, December 4, 2009

By 

Anonymous (United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Perfectly Normal: Living and Loving with Low Libido (Paperback)

I have never written a review of anything before and always wondered what motivated people to actually follow up and post something. This book was so absurd that I felt i needed to do something to warn the next person who is considering it. It does nothing but encourage more of the same behavior from low libido spouses and essentially tells the high libido spouse to take it or leave it. Nearly all of the anecdotes given in the book are designed to demonstrate what jerks men can be for wanting to have sex and ends with suggestions for the man to cope. Many of the examples suggest ending the relationship if the high libido spouse (read husband) does not learn how to live with little or no sex. I kid you not, one suggestion for coping was to have the low libido spouse rest her head "supportively" on the shoulder of her husband as they lay in bed while he masterbates. This and many other awful suggestions are given a new term "relationship sex" by the author who suggests no passion in a relationship can be a wonderful thing. Seriously? I also read The Sex Starved Marriage by Michele Davis, it is a better read and at least addresses the issue from both sides and recognizes that maintaining the status quo is a recipe for disaster.

10 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A book every woman should read, May 24, 2006

By 

Gipsy Rose "Gipsy Rose" (Victoria, Australia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Perfectly Normal: Living and Loving with Low Libido (Paperback)

This is the first book I have read on women's sexuality, of many read, that accurately described my sexuality, gently and clearly explained the aversive cycle my partner and I had shifted into, and put it all in a way that he could understand and relate to. It's probably going to take a while for us to heal, but I feel hope in a way I haven't for a long time. I had resigned myself to the quality of our sexual relationship being an impasse we had to accept. Thank you for writing this Sandra.