Customer Reviews

The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online

5 star:		(35)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

Ms. Spira's book is a MUST READ FOR ONLINE DATERS. There are various books out there about online dating. Some of them are very mechanical, others purely anectdotal. This book seems to have the best of both. The Perils of Cyber-Dating does a great job of not only discussing how to navigate the online dating world, but also shares the joy and heartaches that people will experience in dating in general.

The author is extremely brave: her candor is so "out there" that you can't help but feel vicariously her ups and downs as she sifts through the myraid of dating profiles. These personal stories and episodes really "tell it like it is" for those of us who are trying to find love in an Internet world.

As a guy, I came away with lots of insights about how to write a profile that will attract more responses from women. I also learned about what kind of things you don't want to put into a profile. In addition, I found the book to be very helpful with guidance on handling the first 2-3 dates with someone who you meet online.

Indeed, the book discussed a great deal about dating etiquette in the 21st Century. In some ways, this books shows that many of rules or "best practices" about dating have not changed. On the other hand, the book also spells out the "new kinds of behavior" that are acceptable, and well as inappropriate conduct, in today's high tech world.

I found the book to be well written. It is well paced: there are just enough relevant details to keep you turning the pages. Moreover, she does an excellent job of laying out the theme or message of a particular chapter or episode within a chapter, by selecting the appropriate amount of detail. Unlike other "tell all" books, Ms. Spira does not bury you or overwhelm you with petty or irrelevant facts.

What really makes the book credible and authentic is the fact that Ms. Spira really tells her stories from the heart without embellishment or exaggeration. Some of her stories reflect great pain, and/or great humor. Some have something in between. This authenticity creates a book that is very believeable, and allows the reader to come away with "real life" insights that can be applied to his/her own online dating efforts.

In addition to baring her soul and talking about her mistakes, Ms. Spira also talks about triumphs or positive experiences that give the reader hope of finding true love in Cyberspace. In that respect it is a balanced, well thought out book.

The only positive thing I can say about this book is that, mercifully, it is very short. Had it been longer, I might have wanted to put my head in the oven rather than finish it.

For starters the book is misnamed. There is little you can learn from this to help you avoid 'the perils of cyber-dating'. Far from educational, it is merely a retelling of mostly boring dates and a few ill fated relationships. There is no plot, no drama, no epiphanies, no moral to the story, and sadly, no good laughs either.

Of course, I wasn't expecting anything particularly deep, but I had hoped for insight into a woman's mind and to be entertained along the way. I got little of the former and none of the latter

The one thing I did learn is that women (like us men) can be arbitrary and capricious. The author has practically made a career out of dating, yet rarely goes on a second date and rejects man after man for no particular reason. Before you're halfway through the book it becomes abundantly clear that the author loves the idea of a man better than real men, and unless a mirror should somehow spring to life she will never be able to be committed to a real live person complete with faults.

She is also proud of the fact that she has never had a one night stand. She seems to consider that quite virtuous of her and that no doubt is why she felt compelled to include it in her book, as if we should all congratulate her on her virtue. She even goes so far as to tell a story that reminds me of the old saying "I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken". In that story she was on vacation, and it was the only time in her life that she ever went to bed with a man for what she thought would be casual sex, but she ended up in a 3 year monogamous relationship with the man. I have no doubt that the story is true, she strikes me as an honest person who tells her stories exactly as they happened rather than taking creative license, and I respect her for her journalistic integrity. What I don't understand is why she thinks I should respect her for never having had a one night stand. The book is completely sexless, which I find odd for a book with this title. If sex isn't perilous enough, and important enough to be addressed in a book called 'the perils of cyber dating', what is? In fact, after reading the story about the `boy next door' who she describes in glowing terms, and moves very slowly with (from what we know from the book, it was a long time before they even held hands), the nice guy with whom she had a great deal in common, ended up getting dumped because he had a dog she was allergic too. I felt sorry for him. Contrast that to her treatment of the `Latin Lover' bad boy. She continued to go out with him although it was pretty obvious he was cheating on her. When she finally had proof he was cheating she broke off the relationship, but continued to have occasional trysts with him nonetheless. Ms. Spira has proven yet again that nice guys do finish last, which is not a new concept, but I must thank Ms. Spira for driving home the one and only important lesson in her book.

In her acknowledgments she describes this as a `juicy tell-all'. I'd call it a meatless memoir, devoid of sex, completely without passion, going into no detail regarding how to handle common dating problems, no emotions, really nothing at all but glossed over stories of meeting people and then passing on each other for no good reason other than a subscription to the fantasy that maybe the next person will be even better. In my opinion, the idea that you can toss everyone away because you're always one personal ad away from an inbox full of email from potential suitors may be the greatest peril of cyber-dating. At some point, you should grow up and think less about finding some fantasy person, and replace those thoughts with an attempt to BE the right person.

Julie Spira has really done it with this book -- a virtual primer on internet dating, using her experiences as a guidebook for either the uninitated or frustrated. Describing herself as a "hopeful romantic" Spira addresses the topic with both the sophistication of a veteran of the cyber dating scene along with this charming naivete of hers that someday, someway she'll find that special someone through the internet. The book runs a gamut of emotions -- from romance, disappointment, excitement and, of course, humor. Great job, Julie!

I hate to spoil the fun, but this was one of the worst books I've read in a long time; and I'd sure expected it to be nothing short of awesome based on the previous reviews.
The book is all over the place. There's absolutely no flow to it, no consistency - some chapters are very short recollections of a few first dates gone bad, others sound like an advice column (with little to no valuable information to anyone who knows anything about human nature,) yet others consist of some out-of-place reminiscing over a past love interest.
Proof reading has been invented for a reason. I hate to sound like a spelling-Nazi, but this book is full of mistakes: spelling, punctuation and tenses are used incorrectly way too many times.
The book offers little to no literary value, it's short, absolutely NOT funny, and even depressing (it seems that even though the author describes herself as smart, witty and attractive, any man she has ever been truly interested in completely fooled her; it's actually quite embarrassing.)
It wasn't worth the two hours it took me to finish it.

Congratulations, Julie, on writing a terrific book about internet dating. Reading about author Julie Spira's life as a hopeful romantic on the internet is great fun and a real eye-opener. In her memoir, she shares both her success stories and her heartbreaks as she seeks Mr. Right in cyberspace. Aside from a presenting a series of personal tales, Julie also shows she uses technology to improve the odds in the new realities of dating in the 21st century. As just one example, she shows to spot red flags in online dating profiles by providing side-by-side definitions that compare "What They Say" with "What They Mean." Because of Julie's positive attitude, anyone shy about internet dating will be ready to take the plunge.

This is a must read! As a relationship expert, we love to recommend Julie's online dating advice to our clients! So, if you are looking for love online? The Perils Of Cyber Dating Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking For Love Online, is just the book you need to take from the city to the beach this summer!

Julie Spira dishes it all as a hopeful romantic looking for love online. From her fabulous Rules of "Netiquette" that map out what men and women say vs. what the actually mean, to one hilarious story after another, she has mastered it all in a few clicks of her keyboard. This tell-all memoir spans over 250 dates in almost 15 years online. Way to go Julie!!!

This was an spicy read with all sorts of useful hints mixed in with Spira's cautionary tales. You find yourself cheering for her along the way as she goes through dating debacles and drama.

Julie Spira is one of the most charismatic, sassy and smart women I know. I'm a big fan of her website and recently bought her book to read on my Kindle. Her voice is so honest and her anecdotes are both funny and cringe-worthy, a perfect combination for a book about dating. I highly recommend this book for all of my single friends.

I love this book!!! I laughed and oooo'd through this whole book and could not put it down. Been a long time since I've read a book in one day. Passing along to my girlfriends, single, married and out in the dating world again. Again, real life is more interesting than fiction.
Enjoy!

I picked up this book earlier this year at a book convention, curious because I have done a lot of online dating myself. What I found was a narcissistic tale of a woman living in a completely different world than my own, writing as though the way I live my life is incorrect. Her rules may work for her, although they don't seem to, but they are far from universal. I sincerely hope that people don't actually use this book as any sort of a guide to online romance, and I was questioning who on earth had published it when I noticed that it published by a vanity press. Never has that term been more appropriate.