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Permanent Partners: Building Gay & Lesbian Relationships That Last Hardcover – October 24, 1988

4.9 out of 5 stars 8 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Berzon's experience as a psychotherapist in the homosexual community for over 16 years most definitely shows in her practical and compassionate advice on ways to strengthen same-sex relationships. Though she is a lesbian, the book gives both lesbian and gay male partnerships equal time. Also included are brief chapters on financial issues, legal issues (covered much more completely in Hayden Curry and Denis Clifford's A Legal Guide for Gay and Lesbian Couples , 1988, Nolo Pr. 5th ed.), and having children, with addresses and telephone numbers of numerous organizations and advocacy groups provided. An excellent bibliography (current to 1988) is included. With little else in print of a practical nature, many libraries will want this. Kevin M. Roddy, Oakland P.L., Cal.
Copyright 1988 Reed Business Information, Inc.
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 354 pages
  • Publisher: Dutton Adult; 1st edition (October 24, 1988)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0525246983
  • ISBN-13: 978-0525246985
  • Product Dimensions: 20 x 20 x 20 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #818,752 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

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Top Customer Reviews

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Unfortunately Berzon, longtime gay couples therapist, is dead, but she left gay people with this gem of a book. Since the dynamics are somewhat different in same sex relationships, having that addressed in a book is invaluable. The book is positive towards resolving common issues, staying together, and getting on with your life.
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Format: Hardcover
"Today, more than ever before, gay and lesbian couples want long-lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. But in order to accomplish this, the notion of 'partnership' itself must be radically reinvented. Gay men and lesbians must learn to imbue relationships with the same importance that their heterosexual counterparts do--in a society that still offers none of the same support. ¶ This book, written by a psychotherapist who specializes in working with lesbian and gay male couples, offers clear, compassionate advice and counseling on the internal and external problems faced by two men or two women as they create a life together. Warmly supportive, Dr. Betty Berzon draws on real-life examples from her professional practice and her own long-term partnership to help couples improve communication, 'fight fair,' resolve conflicts, and affirm both their love and their commitment in a relationship that works today, tomorrow, and forever."--© zebraz
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Format: Paperback
As a 28-year-old in my first year of a same-sex marriage, I've been running into problems in relating to and resolving conflicts with my wife that I hadn't expected. Like most people, I think, I'm often caught off-guard by my own reactions to my partner and find myself in situations where I can't communicate what's going on to *myself,* never mind her. We cycle through the same arguments and dissatisfactions again and again, without ever reaching resolutions.

So I decided to start reading. After Clunis and Green's Lesbian Couples, this is the second book I discovered. I'll be keeping it. It's a solid, easy-to-read look at how to negotiate what happens when people stay with relationships long enough for the fantasies of who their partners are to be disrupted by the realities--and what happens when our own fantasies about ourselves start to fall away. It challenges partners to think of their relationships as enduring, in the face of cultural pressure to view them as fleeting and disposable. It makes it clear that a relationship can never be perfect and two people can't magically complete each other and that effort, compromise, and as much honesty as possible are required to negotiate and renegotiate the terms of a relationship throughout a lifetime, as people change. I'd recommend it to different-sex couples, too--the communication advice here should be useful to any couple trying to work around fantasies and tailor roles in a relationship to best fit the individuals involved.
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Format: Paperback
She doesn't just gloss over issues like other authors in this subject. She supports her discussions with examples by real cases she has handled, or when relevant she even includes some of her very own experiences with her partner. This book has helped me identify my own issues very accurately.

Buy it and see!
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