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The Hair Plucker: Screenplay of a Short Film
on August 27, 2011
Close-up: A woman's leg, tan but stubbly. Slowly, a hand enters the frame, holding a Philips HP6576/60 Satin Perfect Epilator (white/purple), The hand's thumb clicks the "on" button and the epilator begins to buzz loudly. The hand cautiously lowers the epilator to the leg and begins to run it up the shin. A voice is heard:
"Ow, that really hurts! Son of a [bleep]!" But the hand continues to run the epilator on the leg until, a minute later, it shuts off the epilator. The camera pans the leg, showing that it is now mostly smooth, with some fine hairs still present. The voice is heard again: "No [bleep]ing way I'm doing this. It hurts like a son of a [bleep]!"
The leg, hand and voice were mine. The dialog is real, recorded by my husband without my knowledge.
I remembered the old-time epilators. Really scary devices that could rip your skin to shreds in addition to yanking out your hair. I heard they are much better now, so I thought I'd give it a try. This epilator charged very quickly, and I was ready to do the deed in well under an hour.
I don't think there's any way this thing could cut into your skin. It does what it's supposed to do: pull out your hair by its roots. It doesn't get everything, though. I have fine hair on my legs and this didn't pick up about a tenth of the hair. Not to mention it's loud and it hurts! I have cavities filled without novocaine, but I'm not ready to make an epilator part of my routine. For anybody who waxes, this will probably be no big deal, in which case I say go for it. For myself, I'll just shave, thanks.
My three-star rating is due to the epilator's noisiness and the fact that it removed most but not all the hair in its path, leaving about one-tenth of my hair unplucked even after multiple passes. I didn't downgrade it due to the pain it caused. I figure that goes with the territory.