PHONE KITTEN is not only a great cozy mystery, it's the perfect chick-lit romp!
“When I first heard of this book I was intrigued; a phone-sex worker turned sleuth? Sounds like the perfect mix ... Marika is an excellent writer and I simply loved Emily ... A fabulous book.” -Trashionista
“Christian hits it out of the ballpark with this hysterical, quirky, and endearing story … Phone Kitten is laugh out loud funny from page one. I was immediately captured by Emily and her innocence, and had to laugh at most of the phone sex scenes.” -ChickLitPlus
In the first five minutes, the phone sex tryout separates the girls from the women: If you can keep from laughing, you might have a career...
From the author:
I wanted to get the phone sex right, and I wanted to portray a phone sex operator right. So I got a job working at two different phone sex companies ... When you’re a phone sex operator, you learn to think on your feet.
One of the calls I didn’t mention in the book was with a man who wanted me to pretend that I was his real life girlfriend. She liked to pretend to be a witch, and when he acted immature, she would work her magic to make him regress in age. There was never any saucy talk, but I did have to think of rhyming couplets on the fly. I can remember one of them: "From cave to desert, hill to sea, different ages let him be … Eye of newt, a favorite toy, turn him now into a boy." See what I mean about stereotypes? Who knew phone sex was going to involve making up nursery rhymes?
The story:
Shy, funny, loveable Emily’s a pretty unlikely candidate for a phone sex operator. She’d die if she had to talk dirty face-to-face—especially to her hot cop boyfriend. She sure didn’t set out to do phone sex—she wanted to be a writer. But when her BFF framed her for plagiarism, she got in a tiny financial hole and saw this ad for “phone actresses”…
Hey, it’s not nearly as bad as it sounds. No pantyhose or pantsuits, no regular hours, you’re your own boss, and lots of people to talk to. Guys, that is. But here’s the odd thing—lots of them want to talk about more than Emily’s imagined attributes; they start to think of her as the best friend they’ll never have to meet.
Next thing you know, one of her customers gets killed and Emily knows a lot more about it than she should. But she can’t tell the nearest cop, who’s also her own true love, because then he’ll find out about her secret life. What’s a phone kitten to do? Solve the murder herself, of course—because wouldn’t it be a great story for the newspaper that wrongly fired her? It’s her ticket back to her real life—if it doesn’t get her killed.
One part cozy mystery, one part Jennifer Cruise-type witty romance, one part Diary of a Phone Sex Operator, Phone Kitten is your ticket to hours of giggles—so long as you’re not looking for raunch. Because this is so not it!
An excerpt:
I put on the headset and listened as a girl named Raven guided some guy through the “manipulation of his instrument.” Like a man really needs that type of instruction. There were moans, groans, panting-- even a few noises I couldn’t identify-- and that was just from her. He screamed once, and then it was over. Raven went on to her next call.
It occurred to me that freaking out wasn’t going to be my problem. Trying not to laugh was going to be my problem. I did my best not to smile. “I think I can do that.”
The reviews:
“Phone Kitten was a fun debut read with an interesting premise and some great characters – excellent chick lit.” -The Brazen Bookworm
“Marika Christian's debut novel was one of the most fun reads I have had this year. Sweet Emily taking a job as a "phone actress" has to be one of the funniest things ever. And after chatting with Marika and knowing these phone calls were real, amused me all the more.” -Just Jump
“When I first heard of this book I was intrigued; a phone-sex worker turned sleuth? Sounds like the perfect mix ... Marika is an excellent writer and I simply loved Emily ... A fabulous book.” -Trashionista
“Christian hits it out of the ballpark with this hysterical, quirky, and endearing story … Phone Kitten is laugh out loud funny from page one. I was immediately captured by Emily and her innocence, and had to laugh at most of the phone sex scenes.” -ChickLitPlus
In the first five minutes, the phone sex tryout separates the girls from the women: If you can keep from laughing, you might have a career...
From the author:
I wanted to get the phone sex right, and I wanted to portray a phone sex operator right. So I got a job working at two different phone sex companies ... When you’re a phone sex operator, you learn to think on your feet.
One of the calls I didn’t mention in the book was with a man who wanted me to pretend that I was his real life girlfriend. She liked to pretend to be a witch, and when he acted immature, she would work her magic to make him regress in age. There was never any saucy talk, but I did have to think of rhyming couplets on the fly. I can remember one of them: "From cave to desert, hill to sea, different ages let him be … Eye of newt, a favorite toy, turn him now into a boy." See what I mean about stereotypes? Who knew phone sex was going to involve making up nursery rhymes?
The story:
Shy, funny, loveable Emily’s a pretty unlikely candidate for a phone sex operator. She’d die if she had to talk dirty face-to-face—especially to her hot cop boyfriend. She sure didn’t set out to do phone sex—she wanted to be a writer. But when her BFF framed her for plagiarism, she got in a tiny financial hole and saw this ad for “phone actresses”…
Hey, it’s not nearly as bad as it sounds. No pantyhose or pantsuits, no regular hours, you’re your own boss, and lots of people to talk to. Guys, that is. But here’s the odd thing—lots of them want to talk about more than Emily’s imagined attributes; they start to think of her as the best friend they’ll never have to meet.
Next thing you know, one of her customers gets killed and Emily knows a lot more about it than she should. But she can’t tell the nearest cop, who’s also her own true love, because then he’ll find out about her secret life. What’s a phone kitten to do? Solve the murder herself, of course—because wouldn’t it be a great story for the newspaper that wrongly fired her? It’s her ticket back to her real life—if it doesn’t get her killed.
One part cozy mystery, one part Jennifer Cruise-type witty romance, one part Diary of a Phone Sex Operator, Phone Kitten is your ticket to hours of giggles—so long as you’re not looking for raunch. Because this is so not it!
An excerpt:
I put on the headset and listened as a girl named Raven guided some guy through the “manipulation of his instrument.” Like a man really needs that type of instruction. There were moans, groans, panting-- even a few noises I couldn’t identify-- and that was just from her. He screamed once, and then it was over. Raven went on to her next call.
It occurred to me that freaking out wasn’t going to be my problem. Trying not to laugh was going to be my problem. I did my best not to smile. “I think I can do that.”
The reviews:
“Phone Kitten was a fun debut read with an interesting premise and some great characters – excellent chick lit.” -The Brazen Bookworm
“Marika Christian's debut novel was one of the most fun reads I have had this year. Sweet Emily taking a job as a "phone actress" has to be one of the funniest things ever. And after chatting with Marika and knowing these phone calls were real, amused me all the more.” -Just Jump
