Pieces of Me: Who do I Want to Be [Perfect Paperback]

Robert L. Ballard (Editor)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 6, 2009

I tell you this story because
for too many years,
people have told my stories for me.
I am ready to speak for myself.
So where do I begin?
Juli Jeong Martin, transnational/transracial adoptee

Pieces of Me, Who do I Want to Be is a collection of stories, poems, art, music, quotes, activities, provocative questions, and more all for the young adopted person who wants to figure out his or her story but doesn t know where to begin. A submission based book with over 100 different pieces, this book was designed for the teen who happens to be adopted, but it will reach all those who live, love, and work with them.

It is a book of voices, from ages 11 to 63, speaking honestly and authentically about what it means to be adopted. Most are adoptees from around the world some are transracial, some are international, some are from foster care, some are young, some are old. There are a few adoptive parents, birth parents, and professionals who share themselves in here as well.

It is a series of experiences, expressions, feelings, hurts, hopes, dreams, and struggles from a wide range of individuals. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry, some will make you happy, some will make you feel less alone, some will offer advice, and some will just share.

All of them are figuring out where the Pieces of Me fit in with Who I Want to Be.

Organized around the idea of putting a puzzle together, there are five major sections:
1. Gathering the Pieces
2. Stolen Pieces
3. Fitting the Pieces
4.Sharing the Pieces
5. Where do These Pieces Go?
- all offering hope, encouragement, empowerment, and a sense of not being alone.

Although it was conceived for the young adopted person, there are universal themes of healing, hope, and struggle all of us can resonate with. And if you are a parent, birth parent, or professional who works with adopted and foster kids, you will find a glimpse into their world, a place that you might not often be invited to share.

This book has hands on activities for teens including t-shirts, sock bunnies, collage and postcards. There are thought provoking questions and places to doodle and think. Reading this book is not just for teens. Others who might read this include social workers who work with pre and post adoptive parents, teen group coordinators, therapists who work with the teen population, school counselors, pre and post adoptive parents, relatives and friends.

Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Grade 9 Up—This title refers to the "pieces" that adoptees must identify, gather, and put together properly in order to make themselves whole. It is a compendium of poems, essays, drawings, quotations, and photos created by adoptees, from 12 to 60+, intended to "offer practical insight and hope" to other adoptees. Each contributor is introduced in a brief biographical sketch that provides readers with background information that helps place each work in context. A few contributors describe their delight at finding someone who "looks like me," while others explore the agony of being rejected, or ignored, by a birthparent. Several adoptees express regret for the suffering they inflicted on their adoptive families, who were often caring and loving. Although many contributors are adults, they focus on their experiences as teens. The raw emotions exposed here make this a rather painful, but extremely powerful read. Suzanne Slade's Adopted: The Ultimate Teen Guide (Scarecrow, 2007) offers practical, factual information as well as some first-person narratives. However, its tone is more restrained and matter of fact. Pieces of Me should be considered for older patrons who are adoptees, as well as adoptive parents.—Deborah Vose, Highlands Elementary School, Braintree, MA
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

Pieces of Me is good for teen adoptees because it portrays common adoptee feelings. Reading about people experiencing the same situations is comforting to teenagers, who live in a judgmental world. The style of the book is more interesting than a textbook or self-help book and will capture your attention. Nothing is more valuable then being able to know that there are people just like you in the world who are feeling the exact same way about their lives.
Yoselin Corrales, 19, adopted from Tegucigalpa at 9 months, sophmore at Nebraska Wesleyan pursuing a double major in Vocal Performance and Psychology.

I really enjoyed reading Pieces of Me. It makes me feel good to know there is someone else that feels the same way I sometimes feel. It s like there is a missing piece of me and I have now realized that a lot of adoptees feel that way. Every story is different, but they are the same too. I am happy to have this book!
Jazz Pyne, 12, adoptee from China, budding musician

Looking at the wide range of articles and topics in this book, this will be an invaluable book for our agency. We will definitely use it in our home study classes as we educate new families and we will encourage our older adoptees to purchase a copy. It will give many young people a voice.
Julie Craft, Founder Adoption Support Center, Inc.

Pieces of Me is a powerful compilation I want to share with all the youth I work with in Get Real a group of youth in foster care. Each teen has expressed at least a part of everything in this book about identity and fitting in. As an adoptive mom of a 23 year-old, Columbian born daughter, I am sharing the book with her. We have lived the pieces and will continue to do so.
-- --Valli Baba Spahn, MPA, LSW Child Centered Recruitment Coordinator Adoption Network Cleveland

Who was it that said relevance is talking to a man in the language of the man about what is in the heart of the man? By the power of that definition, Pieces of Me is hugely relevant. Created by adoptees for teen adoptees this book describes a unique culture as spontaneously as birds cry out warnings, make nests and sing. What are the pieces of the adoptive experience? Describing who, what and why things need to be found, what has been stolen, fitting the pieces together and sharing the pieces. There is no way you can be indifferent to it. Each story, poem, song or image is different, intimate and challenging. The contents is layered, just like human experience and collectively offer a relieving lifeline, I'm here to tell you, you're not alone. The point is adopted people have a connection through a culture all their own, a unique space they share only with others who have been moved from one family and perhaps country to another without choice. In the process they have lost their first culture, family, language, religion and the identity they would have had. Equally connecting is the unique need to combine the inheritances of both birth and adoptive cultures and fit in to wherever they find themselves, building a healthy identity based on wholeness. Pieces of Me is a much needed contribution to the world of adoption books for teens and has plenty to say to adults. Perhaps the best advise for parents is to read it yourself and leave it on the coffee table just waiting to be discovered by you know who.
-- --Gail Steinberg, co-author Inside Transracial Adoption, adoption professional and adoptive parent

As I read Pieces of Me: Who I Want To Be? , I was moved to tears again and again. As a psychologist who works with many foster and adopted children, I recognized the deep pain that so many of the children have endured and some continue to experiences. I am struck by the courage of these individuals to be authentic, to not sugar-coat their experiences or to focus only on the challenges of adoption. Pieces of Me is for parents who wonder what their child might be going through. It s for adoptees of all ages who want to know their feelings are normal and to find gems of wisdom from others who have journeyed this path before them. --Kali Miller, PhD Corinthia Counseling Center, Inc. Licensed Psychologist

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Perfect Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: EMK Press; First edition (November 6, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0972624449
• ISBN-13: 978-0972624442
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.9 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #270,471 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #55 in Books > Teens > Health, Mind & Body > Self-Esteem

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Honest and Real November 17, 2009

By D. Singley

Format:Perfect Paperback

Pieces Of Me gives an honest account of what it's like to be an adopted teenager. The voices of adoptees are allowed to come through and give a clear picture of all the things that adoptees feel.

While very age appropriate, anyone who is involved in adoption can learn much from this book. As an adoptee myself, I identified with many of the essays and some brought out things that I had never considered before.

I's recommend Peices Of Me; Who Do I Want To Be? to anyone who is adopted, loves an adoptee, or just wants to know what it's like to be adopted.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must-Read for Adoptive Parents December 10, 2009

By Creating a Family - Dawn Davenport

Format:Perfect Paperback

"One of my pet peeves is that many discussions about adoption and adoptees box the adoption experience by "alls" and "shoulds". All adoptees are ________ (take your pick: angry, happy, sad, confused). All adoptees should ________ (feel grateful, want to search for birth families, need therapy). Pieces of Me: Who Do I Want to Be avoids that trap by including essays by adoptees that reflect the diversity of reality. Some adoptees are angry, some are content, some are confused, some need to search, and on and on.

Pieces of Me encompasses the whole of the adoption experience--the deep love, the confusion, the living with empty places and unanswered question, and yes, even the gratitude. It is not always an easy book for an adoptive parent to read, but for just that reason, it is an important book for us to read.

Dawn Davenport, host of the radio show Creating a Family and Director of Creating a Family, a nonprofit providing education and resources for adoption and infertility

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book November 23, 2009

By Cindy Champnella

Format:Perfect Paperback

This is a powerful and important book! For the first time ever, adoptees and foster care teens tell their own stories in their own voices. I was so overcome with emotion I found I could only read a few entries at a seating. My high school age daughters (one international adoptee and one bio child) were captivated by the book. I asked my 12-year-old, adopted as an infant, if she wanted to read some of the articles with me at night before she went to bed. She said "no" and stated firmly that she wasn't interested. I had the book on my night stand and, a few nights later opened the door to my bedroom and saw my daughter reading the book--in secret. When I later discussed an article in the book with my older daughter, it was apparent my 12-year-old had read this article already.

And that is the power in this book --the things that adopted and foster teens are thinking about--and don't always want to share with their parents--are the contents of this book. My daughter obviously WAS interested in the contents, she just wasn't ready to share that with me.

I am grateful beyond words that a book like this was published. I highly recommend this to all adoptive families, schools and adoption professionals.