Customer Reviews

Pirate

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

When theologians predicted the second coming of Christ, they were talking about Fabio. The Masculine hunk of romance novel covers proves this theory by writing one of the greatest pieces of literature to ever grace paper. This gem in a world of dirty rocks is his book entitled Pirate.

How can words even begin to describe the beauty and genius held within these pages? Fabio's grasp of the English language is like the delicate, yet strong and firm grasp a flower petal has on a drop of dew. His ideas and feelings are truly that of a god among men. While reading this book, one gets the idea that Fabio could conquer the world with one fell swoop of his well-muscled and excessively-oiled arms.

The plot of the book is true poetry. Fabio proves that he can create incredibly unique and innovative storylines by unexpectedly writing of a heroine pining away for a strapping, dangerous hunk. Never before has any such novel been written. Their love is forbidden, even bordering on incestuous and illegal. Yet the red-hot intensity of the chemistry between them burns hotter than a fire fueled by incredibly flammable items. When the two finally unite in love's golden splendor, the fire erupts into a burning, scorching inferno- not unlike a volcano.

If ever a more innovative, unique and intelligent book than Pirate could be written, it would certainly be a sign of the apocalypse. Read this book. Savor this book. Lick the cover of this book. Feel the vibe of Fabio with every tender word. You will fall prey to his manliness...it's only a matter of time.

Recommended reading for: those with severe delusional episodes, which include dating and/or someday marrying Fabio.

I'm sure they had the best of intentions, but one day, my mother and sister dropped off Fabio's book for me to read. The next morning, during breakfast, I started to read Pirate. Guess what? This book is as bad as I thought it would be.

For instance, it is not enough that the hero (a 22-year old beefcake named Marco Glaviano) has his looks spelled out for us in great detail on the fifth page of the story. Oh no! His looks are spelled out in great detail for us every single time the heroine (a 12-year old "innocent" named Christina) chances to cast her eyes in his direction.

Nary a noun goes unadorned with one or more adjectives. In itself, this may not be a such a huge flaw. However, the adjective choice, and sometimes even the noun itself, leave much to be desired. As a prime example, skim to any one of the myriad of sex scenes. By the way, Christina is 19 now, so we don't have to worry about pedophilia. In the "plunder" scenes, penises are never called penises. Oh no! They are always referred to as "manhood," "masts," "members," or once, in a passionate spurt of inspiration, a "phallus." None of these terms are used on their own. They are always preceded by such modifiers as "swollen," "magnificent," or, my personal favourite, the clinical-sounding "turgid." One memorable "plunder" scene went something like follows: "Her sails unfurled about his mast." Keen, eh?

Although reading this piece of literature often set off gales of derisive laughter, I must admit that over all, Pirate is very readable, if only for its comic effect. All in all the book reminds me of cotton candy. It looks like a lot, but it only amounts to just the teensiest bit of sugar. There is absolutely no substance to it, but people buy it anyway for the sugar rush.

Okay, first off it's by Fabio. You can't even begin to think to take it seriously. Picture the "I can't believe it's not butter" model, smiling broadly in a puffy shirt, wind blowing in his face, describing the story to an actual romance author who's writing the book for him (yes, there's another name in the author slot with his).

Remember, it's Fabio. So use the appropriate accent. Say things like "I vant to be smarrrt. I vant to play chess on the beach." Its about pirates so remember, "Pirates go Arrr, Matey. but I am smart, so I just say Hello."

And yes, the pirates (he's obviously the pirate captain) get drunk on the beach and say "Harrrr" a lot. There is the actual super-sexy phrase of "Climb upon my mast and billow like a sail." in the book, which makes me laugh everytime I think about it. There are no surprise twists or turns. And there is a centerfold picture of the guy himself if you get the 1st ed paperback.

This book is a great laugh, fun, light and as complex and dizzyingly clever as the model himself.

Remember, It's Fabio!

First off I want to point off that Christina was only 12 year of age when she was rescued by Marco after he passed by in his ship and saw that the island she lived on was being invaded by pirates.

Christina was an orphan and her guardian sent her to that island fully knowing that it was frequently invaded by pirates hoping that she would get killed and then he would inherit her fortune.

Ignore reviewers who admit they only read the first page or only read Amazon's brief and incomplete discription for they wrongly think that Marco was having relations with Christina when she was 12.

Yes Marco took Christina to live on his own Caribbean island but he had a lover and didn't really pay much attention to Christina and he didn't really even like her too much and thought of her as an annoying pesty little kid and really let Christina do her own thing for years and nothing happened between Marco and Christina though she did try throwing herself at him only to be rejected by him until she was 18 years old and kind of seduced him and I think he was drunk at the time.

Like so many other reviewers I didn't like Christina but I actually liked Marco and even though I didn't like the heroine I actually liked this book and I recommend it but I think Fabio should have sent Christina off with the son of Marco's business aquaintence and given Marco a more stable girlfriend but I will rate this 3 stars for what I liked but no more than 3 stars!

This was a great romance novel I read it when I was in high school. It is so romantic and you really feel the characters. Great love scenes, the whole story just wonderful.

One good thing about this book is that it holds many a laughs for someone with even minimal intelligence. And onto the "plot"!

You have your stereotypical beefcake named Marco, who, whenever described, holds a striking resemblence to the supposed author of this book. Marco is your average Italian pirate/womanizer who is his own boss and even the boss of a quaint pirate island somewhere in the Caribbean where prostitutes are welcome to visit and have children with Marco's crew.

Marco, on one of his escapades, comes across a rather dilapidated, almost-run-by-criminals island where he saves twelve-year-old Christina, who, upon first being introduced, doesn't appear half bad. Marco gallantly swoops her and her stereotypically annoying crone of a guardian, away to his island. Blah, blah, blah, six years pass.

Marco still is an irritating, virtually one-dimensional character who has to walk through doorways sideways because of his overbearing muscles (I particularly loved his episode with the mercenary-like cook and her constant want of a raise, and how he said something along the lines of "Woman! You try my temper!"), while Christina has turned into a spoiled brat. Of course, she's a voluptuous, golden-haired eighteen-year-old who is lusted after by every memeber of the crew, so all her moral short-comings are overlooked. I swear, I have never come across a ...character. And not even in the good sense of the word. There were numerous occasions where I wished I could jump into the book, punch her in the face and then laugh at her while she cried for Marco because her hair got mussed and her immaculately tiny nose was now less than perfect.

All in all, you have just about every stereotype imaginable. The steamy ... who thinks she can run the hero's life. The annoying child-turned-woman who thinks she owns the hero's life because of a frivolous promise, the ugly, bearded Spanish pirate rival, the heiress of an American colony company, and her jealous guardian who wants her dead so he can get the money.

I think the only likable character was the darn cheetah, who, in a Sigfried and Roy-esque manner, was a pet. And she is oh-so nicely name...Pansy.

Anyone who honestly enjoyed this book needs their head examined. I got it as a gag gift, and I couldn't even get through it all, and ended skipping parts.

I really enjoyed this book. It was fast-paced, funny, sexy, warm.....everything I like in a book!I think any romance fan would enjoy reading Pirate!

This is the 1st Fabio book I read where I love the leading lady and the leading man, I wasn't able to put the book down. It's very sexy and it never dragged or seemed dull, it's smooth and the leads are well-developed.
So far, this is my absolute favorite. Fabio is at his best when he co-writes sexy novels. I think this is movie material.

Don't hold back on future books, there's a nitch for steamy sensual reading like this.

This is by far Fabio's best work. The plot is so good, I just kept reading and didn't put the book down until I was done. The characters of Marco and Christina are so real and very sensual. The Caribbean setting is lush and romantic. I would love to read a sequel to this book to learn more about the future adventures of Marco, Christina and the Glaviano family.

I feel Fabio relied on his sex appeal to sell this poorly written, boring book. It is tedious reading and the action drags.