Plain and Simple: A Woman's Journey to the Amish [Paperback]

Sue Bender (Author), Richard Bender (Illustrator)

Book Description

Release date: October 25, 1991

"I had an obsession with the Amish. Plan and simple. Objectively it made no sense. I, who worked hard at being special, fell in love with a people who valued being ordinary."

So begins Sue Bender's story, the captivating and inspiring true story of a harried urban Californian moved by the beauty of a display of quilts to seek out and live with the Amish. Discovering lives shaped by unfamiliar yet comforting ideas about time, work, and community, Bender is gently coaxed to consider, "Is there another way to lead a good life?"

Her journey begins in a New York men's clothing store. There she is spellbound by the vibrant colors and stunning geometric simplicity of the Amish quilts "spoke directly to me," writes Bender. Somehow, "they went straight to my heart."

Heeding a persistent inner voice, Bender searches for Amish families willing to allow her to visit and share in there daily lives. Plain and Simple vividly recounts sojourns with two Amish families, visits during which Bender enters a world without television, telephone, electric light, or refrigerators; a world where clutter and hurry are replaced with inner quiet and calm ritual; a world where a sunny kitchen "glows" and "no distinction was made between the sacred and the everyday."

In nine interrelated chapters--as simple and elegant as a classic nine-patch Amish quilt--Bender shares the quiet power she found reflected in lives of joyful simplicity, humanity, and clarity. The fast-paced, opinionated, often frazzled Bender returns home and reworks her "crazy-quilt" life, integrating the soul-soothing qualities she has observed in the Amish, and celebrating the patterns in the Amish, and celebrating the patterns formed by the distinctive "patches" of her own life.

Charmingly illustrated and refreshingly spare, Plain and Simple speaks to the seeker in each of us.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Modern-day career woman and homemaker Bender tells of the compulsion--for Amish dolls and quilts that seemed to evoke a simpler life--that took her from New York State to Iowa and Ohio, where she lived with sympathetic Amish families and began the journey of self-discovery here described. The unvarying rhythm of "plain" lives, the importance placed on every day's manual labor and the absence of contemporary distractions such as telephones and microwaves proved revelatory; the one-time Californian was awed by "an aesthetic leanness, a paring down that I have come to appreciate." In her graceful tribute to a community of people who value the ordinary as an end in itself, Bender allows us to sojourn vicariously miles away from the frenzy of contemporary urban life.
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"An account of a quest that leaves [Bender] content and, magically, has the same effect on the reader. . . In prose that seems to echo the rhythm of Amish life, the author kicks around some old questions--What really matters? Is there another way to lead a good life?--with surprising freshness. . .Listening to her gentle voice consider the questions is charming and, somehow, invigorating." -- The New York Times Book Review

"As simple and vibrant a creation as the Amish quilts that first drew Bender into her journey." -- -- San Francisco Focus

"I haven't read such a nourishing book for a long time." -- May Sarton

"In 1967, Sue Bender found herself mesmerized by the dark muted colors of Amish quilts and the haunting beauty of their faceless stuffed dolls. The quiet simplicity of these crafts eventually led her on a journey of self-discovery to two Amish communities in 1982. Not surprisingly, Sue Bender, an over-achiever with two Masters degrees and two careers, found herself strongly attracted to the predictable rhythm of Amish life she encountered. Like her extended retreat, this simple book, describing both the ways of the Amish and their effect upon the author, is an escape for the reader as well. There are glimpses into Amish life: the wagon built to transport benches to the weekly home prayer groups, teenage girls who wear electric blue Nikes under their long black dresses, the democratic selection of a minister by drawing lots, and a no-holds waterfight among the nine Beiler children. Set against this background is Sue Bender's quest to discover inner wealth, to quiet the ramblings of ego, and to explore the part of her existence which values simplicity. With the Amish women as her mentors, she questions the obvious limits of their domain as well as her own frenzied pace. Walking to town one hot sunny day, Sue Bender calls out to the horse-drawn buggies, "Am I on the right road?" It's a question we should all ask ourselves." -- Marilyn Meyer, 500 Great Books by Women

"Just plain wonderful...I haven't read such a nourishing book for a long time." -- -- May Sarton

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: HarperOne; First Edition edition (October 25, 1991)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0062501860
• ISBN-13: 978-0062501868
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.4 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (55 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #42,687 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Sue Bender is the author of Plain and Simple: A Woman's Journey to the Amish. The book was a New York Times bestseller.
A fascination with Amish quilts led Sue to live with the Amish in their seemingly timeless world, a landscape of immense inner quiet. This privilege, rarely bestowed upon outsiders, taught her about simplicity and commitment and the contentment that comes from accepting who you are. In that inspiring book, Bender shares the lessons she learned while in the presence of the Amish people.
In Everyday Sacred: A Woman's Journey Home, Bender speaks to our longing to make each day truly count. She chronicles her struggle to bring the joyful wisdom and simplicity she experienced in her sojourn with the Amish back to her hectic, too-much-to-do days at home. Bender discovers for herself, and in the process shows us, that small miracles can be found everywhere - in our homes, in our daily activities and, hardest to see, in ourselves.

Profiles and interviews with Ms. Bender, as well as book excerpts have been published in countless national publications including Reader's Digest, The Washington Post, Ladies' Home Journal, The Chicago Tribune, The Utne Reader, and W Magazine. She has also appeared as a guest on dozens of radio and television shows.

Born in New York City, Sue Bender received her BA from Simmons College and her MA from the Harvard University School of Education. She taught high school in New York and English at the Berlitz School in Switzerland. She later earned a Masters in Social Work from the University of California at Berkeley. During her active years as a family therapist, Bender was founder and Director of CHOICE: The Institute of the Middle Years. In addition to being an author and former therapist, Sue Bender is a ceramic artist and much sought after lecturer nationwide.

She lives in Berkeley, California with her husband Richard, and is the mother of two grown sons.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

48 of 56 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars An interesting but disturbing book January 17, 2000

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

I've long been fascinated by accounts of the lifestyles and beliefs of the Amish. As a parent, I am often overwhelmed by unease about our culture. It's obvious that consumerism is the machine that's driving some of us off the cliff, but few of us (especially thirtysomething women like myself) know how to avoid feelings that we must be the best--we must have it all, we have to be it all. Hoping for some insight, I read Bender's book.

I think what bothered me the most was that Bender's situation between the lines was almost comically present in the book, like watching someone lip-synch to a stuttering recording. I was disturbed that her "resume" as ceramics artist, therapist, and numerous college degrees were offered up more often than, say, specifics about her relationships with her children and husband. SHE is the only person that's affected by her experiences with the Amish. Her "be a star" upbringing, her overachieving, her dislike of housework--all of this is undermined by the tremendous economic and cultural freedom she obviously enjoys. She jets around the country without a thought, and leaving her husband for months at a time never seems to be an issue. A little inner voice tells her to go back to the Amish "to complete the circle", and baby, she's on the next flight. I feel this is why another reviewer on Amazon commented that Bender sounds like she needs a therapist herself.

Her intensity becomes narcissistic because her gaze is focused so strongly on herself. She talks lovingly about the limited choices that Amish life offers when her own life is an amazing example of freedom. She assumes the reader will have patience with her descriptions of the way she works out some of her feelings through her art when she's home--these are by far the most difficult portions of the book. It's almost as if Bender had to add details of how un-Amish she is to improve the contrast between the two worlds.

I feel that we need to rescue our children and families as much as we need to rescue ourselves from being so damn driven to have the best, and have as much of it as possible. There are some insights in this book that I thought could touch a "normal" woman's life, but as I said, you have to be willing to ignore the narrowness of Bender's focus. Bottom line: this book is quick read and the form compliments Bender's observations on Amish life, which are engrossing. However, Bender's "Plain and Simple" message would have been more authentic, more believable, and less irritating if she had been able to show how her insights affected someone other than herself.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Really horrible book March 27, 2009

By 6thNH fan

Format:Paperback

This book is a self-centered piece of random musings. It is not about the Amish. It is about the author, and frankly, she's not someone I would really care to meet and discuss important issues with. She spends SO much time on HER thoughts, HER ideas, that one forgets this is supposed to be a book about the Amish way of life. This is not a journey TO the Amish. It is a boring, breathtakingly conceited journey into the author's confused mind. I suggest counseling for her. Her book just plain stinks.

42 of 52 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars offensively pompous and self-absorbed April 19, 2006

By angelchrome

Format:Paperback

I don't even know where to start.

If she wasn't so (as we are constantly reminded) well-educated and well travelled I would assume that the author just didn't know how to be a gracious guest. Instead of relishing this rare hospitality (Amish families very rarely invite Englisch guests to stay with them) she repeatedly criticizes her first host family (the wife isn't fit enough, the food isn't healthy enough, her room isn't big enough.) Then when a second family allows her to stay with them she thinks that being their guest for two weeks means she has a right to belittle their plans to expand their homestead to included a much needed birthing center for the community.

And to top it all off, when she gets home, she's too special to share her experiences with regular people, and now thinks the people who were previously her social peers are like "sharks."

This book is not worth your time. There are several excellent books that include far more insight into the lives of the Amish and far less over-intellectualized, self-centered, whining and condescension. See "Driving the Amish" by Jim Butterfield.