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Plainclothes Naked [Paperback]

Jerry Stahl (Author)
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)

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Book Description

November 12, 2002

In a wildly careening plot that can only be described as crack noir, two pipeheads accidentally steal a photo of George W. Bush's presidential package and decide to blackmail the Republican Party. Before the crack-crazed thieves can follow through, however, gorgeous, whip-smart Nurse Tina, who's just offed her husband with a bowl of Drano-laced Lucky Charms, absconds with the goods. When Manny Rubert, a scarred ex-junkie turned codeine-popping detective, is called in to investigate the "foamer" hubby's untimely demise, love hits him like a wrench to the head.

Soon Manny and Tina are making plans of their own for the presidential pie -- and for their future together. But the meddling police chiefs and motel room sex-change surgeons of the world just won't leave them alone. And then there are those killer crackheads, still out there and closing in....


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Plainclothes Naked + Perv--a Love Story + Pain Killers: A Novel (P.S.)
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Wanton violence. Crushing drug addiction. Sexual abuse. It's the world according to Stahl, back with a third tale of whacked-out people in a whacked-out world (after Perv A Love Story and a memoir, Permanent Midnight). The story plays out around the search for a photograph of George W. Bush having kinky sex with the mayor of a small town outside Pittsburgh. The photo was once in the possession of Tony Zank, a local crackhead who is desperately trying to get it back. Along with his partner, a wanted shovel-murderer named McCardle, Zank leaves a path of freakish, carnal destruction, eventually attracting the attention of Manny Rubert, a police detective with a serious codeine addiction. Rubert has his own reason for wanting the photo. He's the mayor's ex-husband and is curious how and why she did for President Bush what she'd never do for him. Several other misfits including a comically inept police chief and an alluring young woman who once force-fed her husband Drano and crushed glass inhabit the outer edges of the careening, overdeveloped plot. Stahl's talent for supplying a cast of mean yet oddly moving characters is evident, as is his talent for creating tactile, unsettling images. Knife wounds open up "like a wet pair of lips." Bedridden yet still-amorous old ladies whip back the sheets, "revealing seven decades of thigh." It comes all at once the comedy, the tragedy and, always, the vulgarity. The challenge is keeping the object of the mayhem in focus. Stahl's formula can be brutally compelling, but he uses it here to less striking effect. Agent, Sterling Lord. (Nov. 6)Forecast: Stahl an actor as well as a writer has a devoted cult following, including a host of high-profile blurbers, from James Ellroy to Benicio del Toro to Anthony Bourdain. His latest should handily pull in the regulars.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

Stahl, author of the critically acclaimed Permanent Midnight (1995), uses his flair for dark comedy to create this hard-boiled crime caper. When Detective Manny Rubert comes into possession of a salacious photograph of George W. Bush, he has to both uncover its mysterious origin as well as fend off its former owners, a horrifyingly sadistic crackhead and his sidekick, an African American Dean Martin look-alike. As Rubert, a former heroin junkie who now pops codeine pills, untangles the mysteries surrounding the picture, he also becomes embroiled in a love affair with the person who gave it to him: a femme fatale nurse who just killed her husband by spiking his cereal with Drano. Stahl crams his novel with colorful characters, from the fatuous police chief whose only knowledge of law enforcement comes from the movies to the plastic surgeon who performs illegal sex-change operations. Readers who are steel-stomached enough to withstand the gruesome violence as well as Stahl's harrowing depiction of crack addiction will well enjoy this fast-paced comic thriller. Brendan Dowling
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Perennial; First Perennial Edition edition (November 12, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060933534
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060933531
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,287,451 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

20 Reviews
5 star:
 (9)
4 star:
 (4)
3 star:
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2 star:
 (2)
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Average Customer Review
4.0 out of 5 stars (20 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars crack noir, August 21, 2006
This review is from: Plainclothes Naked (Paperback)
This is a book that begs to be put up on the big screen. In fact, I was constantly reminded of Richard Linklater's take on "A Scanner Darkly," visualizing this as a better framework. Not that there's anything wrong with "Scanner," but "Plainclothes" beats it with a rusty razor-studded belt for sheer drug-drenched slapstick. The pages turn like a Jim Thompson potboiler read out loud blindfolded in a scramjet scraping the treetops at full throttle. Jerry Stahl has here sketched out a cartoonish burg riddled with misfits and sex maniacs, as if all the world's twisted psyches gathered for a crazy convention in one small town about the size of 300 pages or so. The words glide along the concourse of your mind in horse-sized slaps. This is the kind of prose that makes you do double-takes; some lines have to be repeated because you can't believe you read them right the first time.

If you've dunked your eyeballs into Stahl's earlier "Perv: A Love Story," you're no stranger to his brand of verbal assault, scenarios that no God-fearing person could read straight through without feeling that spine-scorching flash of guilt. However, while "Perv" was like a more demented version of Disney's "Small World" boat ride, populated by child rapists, deformed bullies and schizophrenic daredevils, "Plainclothes" is a sort of angel dust-flaked detective pulp novel with tongue firmly wagging through hole in cheek. The impetus of the tale involves the presidential scrotum. Oh, and it's a Last Tango-esque love story to boot. Manny, a former heroin addict cum codeine junky, is a police detective blackmailing everyone he knows. When he stumbles on the scene of a wife who's offed her hubby with a bowl of Lucky Charms, Draino and one mashed-up lightbulb, he falls in love and gets a gander at a photo involving George W. Bush, the town's mayor (formerly knowns as Manny's wife) and G-dogg's family jewels markered up in a happy face. To get to the bottom of the story behind the snapshot, Manny will have to tangle with the likes of a sexually abused, crack smoking killing machine; a delusional police chief immersed in a Hollywood fantasy wherein his biggest concern is casting a star to play his part; and a rest home nurse who's into S&M. Stahl proves once again that's he's the best thing around since I had to give up taking acid alone because I could no longer handle walking the plank above hell and hearing my echo repeating into the infinite for hours on end.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars One Sick and Funny Puppy, November 9, 2001
By 
Sarah Bisman (New York, NY United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Plainclothes Naked (Hardcover)
Totally gross, whacked-out, really well written, suspenseful, with an unexpected romantic twist. I laughed out loud a few times reading this insane stuff. The perfect antidote to an overdose of George W. Peace.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars I've read better., May 24, 2004
By 
Amber LeClaire "brargle +0" (Ocean View, Missouri United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Plainclothes Naked (Paperback)
This wasn't bad, or anything. It was just... very unbelievable. I like unbelievable, but not extremely unbelievable. I didn't have to strain to read it. I just kind of said "huh..." when I was done. After I finished reading Permanent Midnight I said "Wow!" I want more of the wow response, Jerry. No more of this huh stuff. Perv was right in between the two with a "Nice"

I don't really know. It just felt like everything had the expectable twists and turns. I mean, I never saw anything coming, but after I read it, I wasn't surprised. There was ONE surprise that caught me off gaurd though. And it was pretty good. When Stahl is good, he absolutely amazes me. When he's not being absolutely smashing, his writing just comes off as blah. Still interesting, but blah at the same time.

In retrospect, this book wasn't that bad. I have read FAR worse (the STRAW MEN by Micheal Marshall; it was a "I can't believe I wasted all that time reading that piece of crap" book). Plainclothes Naked was interesting and fun to read. And while I'll still read anything Jerry Stahl puts out, I wouldn't read this for a second time. Permanent Midnight, maybe. But not this.

Maybe this should be 3.5. Ehh.

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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
Tina coudn't decide between ground glass and Drano. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
jerry stahl, crack pipe
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Mayor Marge, Upper Marilyn, Tony Zank, Mister Edward, Pawnee Lodge, Seventh Heaven, L'il Pepe, Chief Fayton, Mister Biobrain, America's Most Wanted, Father Bob, Dean Martin, Jenny Craig, Magic Marker, Manny Rubert, Officer Chatlak, Boy Scouts, Colt Python, Iron City, Lyn Fayton, Carmella Dendez, Clemente Elementary, Liberty Boulevard, Limp Bizkit, Little Tinky
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