Customer Reviews

Planet of the Umps: A Baseball Life from Behind the Plate

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Anyone who read Ron Luciano's hilarious umpiring books about 20 years ago will remember all about Kenny Kaiser. Luciano was the larger-than-life ump (who met a too tragic end) with the penchant for over-the-top calls, and Kaiser the sidekicks featured in several of his anecdotes.

Kaiser's baseball career also met something of a tragic end, and he's been out of the game exactly four years now. "Planet of the Umps" is his own attempt at setting the record straight, describing the horrible conditions that Major League umpires were subject to before the 1970s.

However, if some of the material here seems familiar, it's because... you've read it before. Co-author David Fisher also ghost-wrote the Luciano memoirs. Granted, I haven't read Luciano in a few years, but I recognized at least three stories recycled wholesale from those earlier books. See pages 158, 167 and 172 for the repeat offenders. And, if memory serves me right, the one on 172 actually has a different ending.

"Planet" also suffers from extremely poor editing and fact-checking. Fisher spells several ump names incorrectly (here we read about Lee Wyer, Harry Wendlestat and Dutch Rennart), and, even worse, commits the Cardinal Baseball Sin: He misspells the name Ripken. Come on! The name Ripken appeared in major-league boxscores for 2,632 consecutive games... and also several All-Star games and three playoffs. Why would anyone even think it's spelled "Ripkin"? I'm sorry, but this incorrect spelling crops up so often I'm starting to doubt my own sanity.

Fisher/Kaiser also describe several games precisely as they didn't occur. The last out of Gaylord Perry's 300th career win, remembered on page 97, was not a strikeout. Kaiser lovingly recalls the length (4 hours, 40 minutes) of a 14-inning Seattle-Anaheim game in the 1997 season... however, those two teams didn't ever play an extra-inning games that year. In this era of Retrosheet, those mistakes are hard to forgive. It only takes about 45 seconds of web time to verify details... why not just get it right? Oh, and page 151 has the author watching ESPN several years before the network debuted.

Anyway.

"Planet of the Umps" is a short, easygoing read. It's a good source of classic baseball stories, especially if you're new to baseball bios. Baseball's own history is less than accurate, so you might easily forgive the lack of research. You can finish the book in a day, and the final chapter describing the undeserved ending of Kaiser's career is still a sad one. Buy the book, if even just to support the man himself. Just don't believe everything you read!

If you have the late Ron Luciano's books (The Umpire Strikes Back" and "Strike Two", you have a lot of the stories that former Major League umpire Ken Kaiser tells in this book. If you can't find Luciano's books (they are long since out of print), these stories are FUNNY and an insightful look into the world of an umpire. Argumentative, intimidating, and expressive is the man known as Ken Kaiser. He was one of the few umnpires to ever make the major league baseball players top 10 list of umpires.. at the same time he was on the BOTTOM 10 list of umpires!! I guess what I'm saying is, you'll either like it, or hate it. I liked it a lot, besides the repeated stories.

The best parts of this book are the stories about what it was like to be a minor league and major league umpire. The worst parts, from my perspective, are in Kaiser's biased views about the umpires' labor problems and the quality of umpiring in the majors. Kaiser goes on at length about how every umpire has his own strike zone, and complains about the attempts to standardize it. While it's true that calling balls and strikes is very difficult and that absolute standardization is probably impossible, it's also true that several umpires' strike zones had gotten completely ridiculous (Eric Gregg would regularly call strikes on pitches several inches outside, for example).

Kaiser says he trusted union head Richie Phillips too much when he agreed to resign along with most other major league umps. The problem wasn't just one of trust - it was one of arrogance. The umpires thought they were bigger than the game, that a mass resignation would force the owners to come crawling. They also failed to consider whom they were dealing with. Sandy Alderson accepted the mass resignation. This is the one time in labor history that a union broke itself. Major League Baseball owners have historically been poor labor negotiators, but they finally ran into a group of people who were worse. Kaiser doesn't face up to any of this, in my opinion. He admits it was a mistake to sign his resignation letter, but apart from that he seems to see himself as a victim.

I think the book is worth reading, as long as one takes some of Kaiser's views with a grain of salt.

I was given this book to read while I was sick in bed. I love baseball, but I probably would not have picked up this book on my own. I was not, however, at all disappointed. Ken Kaiser's book made for a wonderful read. He (or his co-author) correctly understood that this type of autobiography is only of interest as it pertains to the world of baseball, so there is very little about Kaiser's personal life away from the job.

Kaiser's anecdotes are often funny and very revealing of the umpire's job. He dispels many ideas of how an umpire makes certain calls. Much of these myths are voiced by sportscasters/writers who like to sound as if they know the inside scoop of the game including the mind of the umps.

I knew of Kaiser's name when he umpired, but I was mostly neutral about him, unlike my positive thoughts about the delightful Ron Luciano, or the less happy thoughts of someone like Rich Garcia. His stories also make clear that what some believe as the self importance of the current umpires is nothing new to the game, but their working conditions have certainly improved.

The book ends sadly, though, with Kaiser an apparent victim of the Richie Phillips led union. Don't get me wrong, Kaiser is a big fellow and capable of making up his own mind, but the former union's advise was equaled in absurdity by the former air traffic controllers union. The result was predictable and the game is not better off. Kaiser deserves much credit for providing a well articulated defense of the umpire's job, his tributes to Ron Luciano, the Ripkens and his blasts at Earl Weaver, sports journalists, and the baseball hierarchy.

This book was laugh-out-loud funny. Not that it is all one-liners, but the humor is spread throughout the book and often catches you off-guard. I would compare it to Dana Carvey (if you like him) -- good humor that is increased by one's ability to put yourself in another's shoes.

I have never umpired professionally, but I have umpired enough amateur games to know that Kaiser is right on the money on much of what he writes. That might make the situations more humorous for me than a "typical" reader, but I doubt it. The writing is easy and friendly and requires very little knowledge of baseball (I would say none, but that might be a stretch).

Definitely glad that I read the book!

Great reading about the side of baseball we don't often read about. However, the Kindle edition (at least) has horrendous SPELLING ERRORS ON EVERY SINGLE PAGE, hyphens in words that don't need hyphens, (also almost every page), etc. Punctuation is minimal at times. Several of the misspelled words I had to think about before I figured them out. If I were Kaiser or his coauthor Fisher I would be embarrassed to have my name on this book --- at least the Kindle edition. Massive proofreading needed.

There are some points in this book where I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. While you may think that baseball managers and umpires are truly having an argument, there are times when it a choreographed bit of pure entertainment. Baseball has always been different from other sports in that arguing vehemently with umpires is considered an essential part of managing and coaching.
Ken Kaiser was an umpire in professional baseball for thirty-six years, starting in the lowest of the minor leagues and working his way up to the major leagues. Some of his stories about umpiring in the minor leagues are incredible; a few even involve gunfire, some of it by an umpire that had angered the crowd with a call. His stories of clashes between some of the managerial legends such as Earl Weaver, Sparky Anderson, Leo Durocher and Lou Pinella are classics. One of my favorites is about Ted Williams when he was a manager; Williams deliberately took a young player to Kaiser and told the player that blaming an umpire for all your failures is not the way to greatness.
Historically, major league baseball has treated the workers very poorly, I sympathize with Kaiser's statements about how badly the umpires were treated but I remember that the players were treated just as poorly if not worse. The reserve clause allowed the players to be traded like cattle, shipped off to another team or dropped from the roster at a moment's notice. Pay scales were ridiculously low and players could be forced to work themselves to the point where they would be prematurely burnt out. A mention of this would have lightened the story considerably.
A former bouncer and professional wrestler, Ken Kaiser tells an often humorous tale of his life and experiences as a baseball umpire. This is a fun book to read even though it ends on a note of understandable bitterness.

Ken Kaiser doesn't care for baseball, but he doesn't have to cause he's an umpire. This book chronicles former American League Ken Kaiser's journey through the lowest of minor leagues to the lavish life style of the majors, up until the infamous umpire strike that led to his ultimate firing.

Full of hilarious stories that you'll never hear about on ESPN, Ken Kaiser shows you the other side of baseball we rarely hear about. If you love baseball you will love this book.

Ken Kaiser tells a great story and he and David Fisher deliver. However, if you have read any of Ron Luciano's books, you have heard about half the stories.

Kaiser talks about some of his umpire partners, which I really enjoyed.

Kaiser readily admits he is bitter about the way he lost his job in 1999 due to the failed labor negotiating strategy (a strategy Kaiser admits was a disaster). However, after the book was published, his case was settled in court and his now has retirement benefits.

While I heard many of the stories in Kaiser's book, a baseball fan and a sports officiating fan will enjoy the book.

PLANET OF THE UMPS IS BY KEN KAISER FORMER MINOR AND MAJOR LEAGUE, WHO TELLS US SOME FUNNY AND INTERSTING STORIES. THE PROBLEM IS THAT THERE IS NOT ENOUGH OF THEM. I DIDN'T REALLY CARE FOR HIS MINOR LEAGUE STORIES BECAUSE I COULD NOT IDENTIFY WITH MANY OF THE PLAYERS. THE MAJOR LEAGUE TALES WERE MOSTLY GOOD AND SOMETIMES FUNNY. MR. KAISER ALSO GIVES US HIS OPINION ON THE TREATMENT OF UMPIRES, WAYS TO SPEED UP THE GAME AND SOME OTHERS. I DID FIND HIS SIDE OF THE UMPIRE'S STRIKE INTERESTING EVEN THOUGH I HAVE READ IT BEFORE. ALL IN ALL THIS IS NOT A BAD BOOK. THERE IS MORE GOOD THAN BAD. IF YOU LIKE BASEBALL AND WANT TO READ AN OK FILLER BOOK THEN THIS IS FOR YOU.