Planet Widow: A Mother's Story of Navigating a Suddenly Unrecognizable World [Paperback]

Gloria Lenhart (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 28, 2006

One of the most stressful and traumatic events a person can face is the death of a spouse. It happened to Gloria Lenhart suddenly when her husband Nick, only forty-four years old, dropped dead while jogging. Planet Widow is the story of her struggle to negotiate motherhood, family, and career in a world that is suddenly unrecognizable. Serving as both a comfort and a cautionary tale, this powerful story helps answer real-life questions about coping with loss, as well as how to prepare for the unthinkable.

Perhaps Lenhart’s biggest challenge is finding ways to help her sons cope with the loss of their father. Even before the funeral is over, Lenhart must fight for custody of her husband’s son, sixteen-year-old Nikolaus, whom she’s been a mother to for more than ten years. And like many widows, Lenhart finds herself faced with difficult financial realities as she is drawn into the realm of estate lawyers, probate courts, and unscrupulous stockbrokers.

Planet Widow is a personal story of spunk and determination, told with a touch of humor. The book ends on a note of hope—that a loss experienced and survived can lead to a fuller understanding of what it means to live.

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

"You are on a whole different planet."

That is how one colleague articulates what Gloria Lenhart feels when she faces one of the most traumatic events a woman can experience—the unexpected death of her husband. Lenhart finds herself widowed at age forty-two with two young sons, the eldest of whom she has not officially adopted. As the hard realities of lawyers, courts, and a family at odds dominate her life, even once simple tasks become daunting as she struggles to restore her family to normalcy and regaining her bearings.

Planet Widow is both a cautionary tale that helps answer questions about coping with loss, and a personal story of one woman’s undefeatable spirit as she moves toward an uncertain future. Lenhart is unflinchingly direct and unafraid to share her lowest, and sometimes quirky, moments—taking inspiration from Jackie O., following a motorist she believes to be her dead husband, and even seeking out a psychic. Hers is a heartfelt account about how profound loss and the journey that follows can teach us about what it means to live more fully.

About the Author

Gloria Lenhart is a marketing consultant, with more than 25 years of experience with companies ranging from Charles Schwab to Sega to Sebastiani Vineyards. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her younger son, Matthew, a high school freshman. Her son Nikolaus is a 2005 graduate of UC Davis.

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Seal Press (February 28, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1580051685
• ISBN-13: 978-1580051682
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.6 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,123,277 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

What I've Learned About Grief

Funerals are very important.
When a loved one dies, it is important to come together and honor his or her life. I'm not suggesting that you spend every cent you have on an elaborate funeral. Ask for input from the people who knew your loved one best. Make a slide show of family pictures. Ask friends and relatives to share their memories.

Everyone will want you to get over it fast. You won't.
After the funeral is over, everyone will get back to their own lives -- except you. For you, everything will have changed. You'll have to find new ways to cope with everyday life. No one will understand this. If you are close to someone who has lost a spouse, please, please, be patient with them. They really don't know when it will end.

Grief is not a road, it's a roller coaster.
In the beginning, you'll have some really, really bad days. Then, suddenly, you'll have a morning or an afternoon where you'll feel almost normal. You'll think, "I'm getting over it." But that's when grief swings back and kicks you in the head. Eventually, you'll be able to string together more and more good days. But the bad days will still happen.

Grieving is physically hard.
Grieving creates a physical state roughly equal tobeing hit repeatedly by a thirty-pound rock.

The needs of the living are more important than the wishes of the dead.
The best way to honor a deceased loved one is to make the best decisions you can based on what you know now, not what they thought back then, when they were alive.

There's probably more to know about being a widow than I can tell you. But at least this is a start. Grief is a different journey for every person who undertakes it. Be brave, and don't be afraid of where it might lead you.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Honest and heartfelt...it made my cry, March 17, 2006

By 

Alicia Jones (Novato, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Planet Widow: A Mother's Story of Navigating a Suddenly Unrecognizable World (Paperback)

Gloria's account of being a widow is amazingly honest -- she doesn't romanticize widowhood, but rather, communicates what her life is like just trying to get through each day. She talks openly about financial pressures, family issues, marital issues and especially, concern over her kids' emotional well being. Somehow Gloria manages to keep her amazing strength, perspective and sense of humor. I highly recommend this book!

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A true reflection of the first year of a young widow, January 18, 2007

By 

sandy "Sandy" (O'Fallon, MO) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Planet Widow: A Mother's Story of Navigating a Suddenly Unrecognizable World (Paperback)

My husband died 11 months ago at age 34 and I have two young children. I was able to identify with the author that it is like being on a whole different planet. It was comforting to read about her journey through her first year of widowhood. She is very honest and candid about her story, feelings, and struggles. I encourage anyone suffering the loss of a young spouse, especially if you have children to read this book.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Not just for widows, April 2, 2006

By 

H. Fleming "Miss Doctor" (Bay Area, California) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Planet Widow: A Mother's Story of Navigating a Suddenly Unrecognizable World (Paperback)

This is a frank, moving, and at times even funny account of one woman's experience of widowhood. Jeez, how can that be funny? But Lenhart does provide us with a wry and honest story in which she takes a hard look at herself and those around her. As someone who has survived a painful divorce, I was struck by my familiarity with the emotional turmoil she describes. This is not necessarily a self-help manual for widows, but rather much more an allegory of suffering, self-evaluation, and new beginnings.