Customer Reviews

Plankton

5 star:		(0)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Of all the Italian movies I have ever seen about the horrors of radioactive plankton, this is the worst. This film, made for approximately thirty two cents, has the worst acting and most inept direction I have seen in a long time. Adding to the wretchedness is the MTV-like quick cuts of inappropriate things from inappropriate angles. (Helpful tip to the filmmakers: just because you can edit doesn't mean that you should.) To even think about enjoying this film you absolutely must be fanatically devoted to enjoying the worst aspects of cheesy movies, and even then prepare to writhe in pain a great deal.

This film was also titled "Creatures From The Abyss" and is about adolescent longings, flying radioactive fish, and snorting high-grade plankton for illicit purposes. In other words, this is a mess. The movie opens with some teenagers including a nerdy guy and a would-be party animal (who may be the thoroughly most disagreeable character in movie history) and three girls in bikinis going onto the open ocean on a small inflatable boat in the middle of the night, where they encounter a mysterious abandoned scientific boat with luxurious accommodations including giant, opulent bedrooms with faux-fur decor, a stuffed polar bear, a (very annoying) Sid and Marty Krofft talking octopus wall decoration, and a demonically possessed toilet which talks (saying things like "The toilet tissue has malfunctioned!")

Intermittently through the film we see jump cuts of flailing rubber tentacles from a half-man, half-fish, three quarters-badger creature whose tenuous connection with the plot is never completely resolved but does involve an oversexed half-woman, half giant crab creature somehow. There are also many shots of something pulsating that we infer is the radioactive plankton that the prehistoric fish have been eating to make them fly and kill. (I think; it's all a bit difficult to follow.) The nerdy guy discovers that these fish live out of water, fly, and know how to turn their victims into monsters by reading erotic stories about these mystery fish. (I am absolutely not joking.) This is confirmed by the discovery of a deranged plankton crazed, drooling, incoherent, scientist junkie in the bilge of the ship, who is accused of having an immoral relationship with the fish in question (ponder that, please.) When he is confronted with his crimes against nature his only response is "They were old enough!" (Making matters worse, his accuser then goes on to commiserate by saying "I understand! These things happen.")

Interwoven into the plot are several other unsavory subplots including exploring the use of dried radioactive plankton as a recreational drug, unplanned pregnancy, and the least savory love scene in screen history, which, I am sorry to report does actually contain a giant larva tongue, inadvertent eyeball swallowing, and octopus wrestling. The whole thing concludes with some gross, yet horrifically unrealistic special effects, and the brainy nerd wading around in gasoline holding a lit candle.

The film is a feast for not only eyes, but also ears, featuring some of the most ineptly crafted dialogue, delivered with the most inappropriate inflections ever, by the least likeable cast in recent memory. This is all topped off with continuous new age music that drones on and on (and on.) Truly a sensory deprivation experiment of a movie if ever there was one.

In all absolute honesty I have no idea what to give this film for a rating. As a quality movie, it is sub-zero. As schlock cinema it is over the top. I settled on three stars depending on what you are looking for. If you are really committed to the bad movie genre, this is a must-see; otherwise you better turn tail and run away at flank speed now.

I was looking forward to watching this previously unreleased (at least in the States) euro-horror flick originally known as "Plankton" which is about some mutant fish terrorizing 5 teens on an abandoned research ship. I knew ahead of time it was going to be bad, but I was not prepared for the magnitude of how godawful it actually was. Does that mean I didn't enjoy it? Of course not --- it's so inept in every way that you can't help but laugh at it's amateurish execution. Atrocious acting and dubbing (the voices are so detached that sometimes it is hard to figure out which character is talking!), awful special effects (superimposed animated flying fish!), terrible editing, phony rubber monsters (and one stop-motion tentacle-man-creature), and even explosion fireball footage superimposed over a model ship being blown apart. Even the few 'gore' scenes are disastrous because they build up and don't deliver...and what's with that animated fish (?) flying out of that chick's mouth?!?! Her head should have exploded instead (guess they didn't have the money to do that). Best scene is when a guy turns into a fish monster when making love to one of the girls. His eye pops out of his head and falls in her mouth. Yeaah! Unfortunately, there are quite a few lulls in between the chuckles and the film really is recommended only for diehard euro-trash fans. It's good for a few laughs, but I doubt it will revisit my DVD player anytime soon.

So how does the DVD look? Thankfully, the film is sharp and does not suffer from that awful artifacting that was so evident on Shriek Show's "Demonia" DVD. So, this is a very good sign for Shriek Show and bodes well for their upcoming releases. The extras include a few trailers (Demonia and 2 Asian horror flicks - which are not at all my thing and the 2 trailers showcase exactly why I dislike that genre so much), but not a trailer for "Creatures From the Abyss" which is probably because there never was one. There is a picture gallery (which I didn't bother going through) and a brief on-screen director interview - if I were the director, I would have been embarrassed to show my face! Anyway, I must admit that even though the movie really BITES, it does have a weird charm to it and this DVD is a welcome release from Shriek Show. Looking forward to many other obscure and "unreleasable" releases from them in the coming months.

All I knew about this title was that it was an Italian horror film. I'm glad I took a chance on this DVD, because Creatures From The Abyss (AKA Plankton) turned out to be a hoot. From the bad dubbing and inane dialog, to the cheezy, but fun SPFX, this one reminded me of later films by Lamberto Bava (Graveyard Disturbance, Prince of Terror) and Lucio Fulci (Ghosts of Sodom, Zombie 3). The plot is simple: 5 kids out for a good time take refuge on a deserted ship, where they soon discover mutant plankton, which attack them one by one. Some of the effects reminded me of Carpenter's The Thing, but much more crude. So grab a six pack and enjoy. THIS ONE'S ONLY FOR THE MOST TOLERANT ITALIAN HORROR FANS! you'll love it.

When I saw all the American names,I was immediately confused by the horrible dubbing. People are talking, but the camera doesn't show their face. Three young ladies and two horn dogs go boating. As luck would have it, the motor conks out and it is raining. Fortunately a yacht is nearby and they are rescued, only to find an experimental oceanographic research vessel specializing in deep water life, that is empty.

The five make themselves at home and attempt to figure out the enigma. The girls take off their bikini tops to dry off and one was nice enough to shower (full frontal nudity). They consume the fish in the refrigerator, a major plot point as they now become infected with a carnivorous mutated fish that lives out of water (the smaller ones fly through the air.) Fish-People turn against people.

The special effects were bad. The plot, which started out good, became silly when they used the bad special effects. The dialouge was very weak. With the movie being so obviously dubbed, they should have created new dialouge with some hip American slang instead of attempting a phrase for phrase translation. The movie was originally titled, "Plankton." The girls were pretty which might be the only reason to watch this film.

F-bomb, sex, nudity.

Creatures From The Abyss follows a group of five kids who get stranded out in the ocean when they run out of gas. They find an abandoned yacht and come aboard. Of course in horror films we all know this is a classic case of "out of the frying pan and into the fire". The yacht was used by a crew of scientists studying radioactive fish. The crew are all toast, but the fish monsters remain and proceed to attack our heroes. The science of the fish is more complex than it should be, but two things are for sure-The fish are carnivorous and HORNY. One guy is having sex with a chick and then starts transforming into a large fish while he also vomits small fishlike monsters on the girl's face(his eye also pops out and falls into her mouth). Later she gives a painful birth(or is it a miscarriage?) to what looks like a big gloppy puddle of caviar.
I realize how tantalizing I'm making this film sound, but it's really only so-so. It seems to take quite a while for anything to really happen, and even when it does it still seems kinda boring in a way. The acting is what you'd expect, and the characters are the usual suspects are far as cliches go. As expected, they do and say inept and illogical things. If your boyfriend was being strangled by a woman with a giant fish monster protruding from her head, I seriously doubt saying, "Please, leave him alone" is gonna help much.
It's not without it's entertainment value though. It's so cheap and dumb that it's funny and amusing at times. One particularly funny part has to do with the ship's alarm system. It's one of those verbal alarm systems that tells the crew when the self destruct mechanism has been activated and is counting down. There's also a verbal coach for the shower to tell you how and when to masturbate. Anyhow, the self destruct is activated and the alarm is instructing to evacuate. After a few minutes of the characters running around in panic the alarm says, "Is anyone listening to me? I still hear footsteps! Evacuate!" I don't know, I just found that quite funny.
The look of the film is the typical look of the Italian films of the late 80/early 90s. Think Zombi 3. The DVD has an interview with the director which lasts only a minute or so. Not much to say about the film I suppose, and I don't blame him.
Anyhow, it's good for a laugh, but Argento it ain't.

yes, this movie is BAD! but it's fast paced and very funny! it's not like watching Manos: the Hands of Fate, which is just painful. it's an Italian teen horror film from the 80's so expect anything. the dubbing is the most obnoxious and hilarious i think i've ever heard. image quality is pretty decent. hell, it's a win win situation. fun flick. very cheap. and you can even get it in an inexpensive triple feature set from Shriek Show if you wanna boost some weirdness to your collection.

Do not watch this movie if you are expecting a revelation in films. However, if you want to sit back and laugh at how rediculous this flick is please by all means get it.

The story starts of with 5 teens at a beach. They get on a floating rubber raft and head out to sea, leaving the gas can behind. Eventually they get lost in the middle of the ocean and of course it starts storming. Soon they find a huge yacht and decide to get on board to get out of the rain.

It turns out to be a research vessel containing all sorts of crazy fish and radioactive plankton. What insues is predictable with mutant fish running around, a hillarious sex scene, a crazy scientist, and a half man half fish. Also there is this really wierd one eyed thing on the wall that talks to everybody(I think its supposed to be an octopus sculpture or something)

All in all this really is a movie so bad its funny(much like troll 2). The dvd has a few cool features that include a interview with the director and previews for some other movies.

If your into cheese ball low budget horror movies with sex, gore, mutants, radio active plankton, and badly dubbed voice overs, then this is the movie for you.

This movie wasn't the worst I've ever seen. In fact I found it enjoyable. It's about these 5 kids who go out on boat trip on the ocean and end up running out of gas. They then spot another
ship and they then board it. (it's deserted of course), except for one derelict who's lines throughout the movie were..grrnnt,
uhgggffhh and some other unintelligle gack.
The kids then start wondering what happened to the crew when one of the guys begins reading about the crew's experiments with the
fish etc.One of the guys thinks it was a lab to mfr drugs(wait till you see what happens to him)
The movie itself wasn't bad, the acting was kind of lame. The SFX
were some stop-motion and other just hammy kind some good scenes.
The part I like is when one of the guys turns into a fish/squid
something or other while he's making love.(She gets mutated also)
The part i thought that really sucked was when the ship exploded at the end, sheesh they could of at least used a miniature and blown that up instead of superimposing flames etc over the ship
Other than that i thought it was an ok flick

needed more action and creature action, longer creature closeup time. kinda fake and dumb movie. i like the flying fish and grosse creature stuff later. they could have made this picture more fun and interesting tords the end somehow.