Customer Reviews

Playing With Fire

5 star:		(50)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(8)
2 star:		(13)
1 star:		(178)

 

 

This former back-up dancer
Now known as Mr. Spears
Has brought us the worst album
To be released in years

Though he thinks he's Eminem
He's more Vanilla Ice
And after you've heard this one once
You wouldn't hear it twice

Just listen to the lyrics
And see if you agree
These are the worst songs ever "sung"
In all of history

The first single is "Lose Control"
A track that should be tossed
I would suggest this album
Be avoided at all cost

Maybe next year on April 1
(You'll get two for a buck)
Buy `em for an All Fool's joke
and watch your pals upchuck



Amanda Richards, October 31, 2006

Do you want to laugh? And I mean the kind of deep-down, uncontrollable, belly laugh that leaves your sides so sore that it hurts to go poop later? **THIS** is the album for you.

Playing With Fire is jam-packed with clearence bin G-funk beats, silly posturing, shameless ego-stroking and the most simplistic rhymes since Dr. Seuss. Wait, check that! The Cat in the Hat was a lyrical masterpiece compared to this album. I don't know which running theme is more comical: bragging about the money he didn't make, talking up all the drugs he doesn't do or regaling us with tales of the hard-knock life that he never lived.

It's funny that Amazon is listing Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera under "Customers who bought this item also bought", but in many ways it's not fair to the ex-Mr. Spears or the Wannabe Ms. Spears. Both of them have at least made peace with what they are. I have the alarming impression that Cletus really believes he's some sort of hard-core baller. Where's Suge Knight when you need him?

The sheer cacophony that this album exhudes is a declaration of war against all which is good and pure in this world. Skies will rain blood, virgins will be spontaneously defiled, and there will be much weeping and gnashing of teeth.

The drum machines in this necronomicon of pain are wrought from the realm of Baalzebub himself, their metallic drone bores holes within the eardrums - sweet mercy comes from this.

The unholy union between K-Fed and music television will ensure that this demon seed is poured forth upon the masses, burning them with unescapable torment.

It must be stopped.

I bought this album as a gag gift for a few close friends who enjoy rap. I'm sorry I did. I'm now involved in a class action lawsuit from those same friends and their families. The charge is perpetuating psychological abuse, psychosomatic trauma, spontaneous ear bleeding, nausea and virgin sextuplet births... with an intent to distribute. My legal bills are through the roof and I'm seriously contemplating moving to New Zealand and living as a vagabond.

I gave half of this CD a listen to see if the criticism Federline has been receiving is justified. I can quite clearly say that it is. The "beats" on this album are pretty sophmoric, but could be overlooked with good writing. There are no songs that really have a very catchy rhythm that you can enjoy, although a few have potential. The main problem with the album though is the awful lyrics:

"Im the talk of the town
Thats the reason why they stare
4 karats in my ear
If you look see a glare"

"When the pen hits the pad
It's in the left hand
Every single word is worth thirty grand"

"Every word out my mouth
Make headline news
I'm the best, I rule
Come test my tools"

Federline spends the entire album rapping about four things:

a) His wife
b) How much everyone hates him
c) How much pot he smokes / how much he gets drunk
d) How awesome he is.

I assume the fact that people are always "hatin' on him" gives him street cred and makes him tough in his eyes. I just can't understand it, as these lyrics would be laughable from ANY artist, not just him. He actually has a fairly decent voice, but it won't matter if he keeps using monosyllable rhymes that sound like they were written by a third grader.

then I heard the 2nd track...that made me laugh..by the 4th track I was having an athsma attack laughing so hard. By the last track I was crying that I had just lost 50 minutes of my life I will never get back.

By the way...I find it amusing that Amazon has paired this CD with Justin Timberlakes under "Better Together". Now THAT made my day, hahahahaha!

I take back everything I ever said about Vanilla Ice.

* track 5 sounds like a casio keyboard was used for the music
* It is a little better at 1.5 speed (but it sounds like the Alvin and the Chipmunks album but with 1337 |-|4rd(0r3 lyrics )
* After hearing this I had to go listen to "sound of music" soundtrack to get right again!

My advice... JUST SAY NO! Don't even try it once... You (or someone you love) will get hurt if you listen to this!

I'll be nice.

Relative to a pool of vomit, this album is pretty solid. I'd rather have this album thrown at me at high speeds than a chainsaw. If I was stranded on a desert island, I'd rather have this album than a tumor. If I had to lick something, I'd rather it be this album than, say, a ferret's balls. At my next birthday party, I'd much rather you sing than a man that could make Earth explode with his voice. If I needed a drinking buddy, I'd rather it be you than someone with an uncontrollable bladder that also happens to be a recovering alcoholic whose wife is only giving him one last chance before she kicks him out of the house and takes his kids, that being the final straw before he flips out and murder's my grandfather.

pant load.

If he weren't married to Britney "I Sold My Body Instead of My Talent when I was a kid" Spears, Kevin, aka "Cletus" would be your deadbeat brother-in-law sleeping on your couch, bumming money for cigarettes and beer.