Customer Reviews

Playing with the Grown-ups

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I'll admit that I first heard of Sophie Dahl during her "real woman" modeling days, but I first fell in love with her voice as an author in a Harper's Bazaar article that she did on living green for a day. Her first book, a fairy tale for adults called The Man With the Dancing Eyes, only whet my appetite for more and Playing With the Grown-Ups does not disappoint.

I read this book while sitting on my porch in the first sun of spring, smoking cigarettes and avoiding getting to work. Instead of killing a few hours, I ate the book up in one day, putting it down only when life called me away, and after it was done I felt as though I had been wandering in a pastel English garden for a few hours, a soft blanket wrapped around my shoulders and I was loathe to leave.

By now the biographical nature of the novel, and whether or not it is all true, has been hashed to bits and I won't recount the story here. It is clearly a story with a foot placed firmly in reality, but aren't most novels? The real attraction of the story is the delicious prose that pulls you gently along and takes you out of your own world for a little while, which is all that we ask for from our books. I'll admit that I entered into this story with a distinct bias against the author. Perhaps she was riding on her grandfathers coat-tails a bit too far. Just another model - slash - something or other. I was blown away.

Ms. Dahl's voice is sweet and eloquent, painting a beautifully vivid portrait of a story that could have very well been dark and depressing. Instead, because of the childish innocence of the novel's star and Ms. Dahl's talent with words, the story feels light and poetic, optimistic and brave.

It is rare lately in my busy, chaotic life, to find a novel that draws me into its world and won't let me go. A book that makes you feel like you are wrapped in the arms of someone you love. This book did just that and left me eager for more. My only complaint about this book is that it was far too short.

Sophie Dahl has a real talent for story telling. This beautifully spun novel plunges head first into the exciting and utterly complicated life of Kitty, an adolescent girl; whose triumphs and tragedies lead her on the bumpy road to adulthood. This story is sprinkled with a cast of wonderful and quirky characters...from the ultimate guru, Swami-ji who at one point rules their lives to the Russian Romeo who longs after girls half his age, to the display of many eccentric men who enter and leave her mother Marina's life...this coming of age book is at once sparkling with wit and humor and immediately captivating in its innocence and warmth. Dahl's ability to create a setting is nostalgic and memorable every step of the way. Be it the English countryside and Hay House or the references she makes to New York; that imagery will be forever etched in my mind. She molds her words as though they were made of clay.

Marina's spontaneous and radical efforts to find happiness result in her uprooting her little family - Kitty, Sam, Violet and nanny Nora - from England to New York to the guru's Ashram and back to England. Kitty even has to suffer boarding school and the agonies of being an unpopular girl surrounded by snobs until the guru's vision eventually releases her back to the world. Kitty (aka Kit-Kat) has an unusual childhood...she is the child but also the adult in her world, covering for Marina and protecting her from Bestamama and the parade of drooling men who fall at her feet. Caught between wanting to break free into adulthood and hanging on to the responsible `good girl' that she is, she remains the glue that holds the family together. Marina on the otherhand is impulsive and rebellious and at once loveable although her relationship with Kitty more often resembles that of a friend than a mother figure; Kitty is her rock and Marina, Kitty's anchor. The love in this unusual little family cannot be overlooked. Marina's pride in her `little ones' is a beautiful thing. Kitty's curiosity, love for family and passion for romance are endearing and hilarious as we find her caught in a battle of the mind vs. the heart...still the 15-year old must decide her own fate...

Sophie has undoubtedly proven herself as a brilliant literary artist. With her funny imagination, vivid imagery and penchant for the unpredictable, her characters bounce off the pages ready to come alive. She has unquestionably inherited her grandfathers writing talent and firmly planted her feet as a novelist. I can't wait to recommend this book to every girl I know! Brilliant.

The story begins with the ever-dreaded phone call in the middle of the night, summoning Kitty to London because something's happened to her mother. Heavily pregnant herself, Kitty gets on the first flight, and, we think, starts the story from the beginning to demonstrate how she and her family got to the point where her mother lies in the hospital.

As a child, Kitty lived a somewhat idyllic life in the English countryside with her mother, brother, sister, aunts, grandparents, and nanny. Dahl vividly describes her setting, and one can almost feel the warmth of the sun and the breeze.

But Kitty is not destined to remain there. Kitty's mother, Marina, is presented to the reader as someone who does not make the best choices in life. Kitty herself is the product of an affair Marina had as a teenager with a married man. As the story begins, Marina has just found religion, through Swami-ji, the leader of an unnamed cult.

Though benevolent in intention, the effect of the cult on Kitty's family is dramatic. Soon, Kitty is separated from her family and sent to a drab boarding school, while her mother and siblings go to New York. Her mother becomes a successful painter in New York, and after a single school year, decides that Kitty should join her. She does, and it is in New York that Kitty first begins to follow her mother's example in walking on the wild side.

When the family moves back to London (having been rejected by the cult), Kitty's inhibitions seem to stay in New York. Once in London, she falls in with varying crowds, doing drugs, going to wild parties, and the like. From the loose time references we are given in the book, it is the mid-'90s and Kitty is about 14. Not to be overly naive, but she is far too young to be doing the sorts of things she does (I guess that's where the book gets its title), but even worse is that Marina encourages Kitty's behavior, sometimes even joining her at parties, and passing around the drugs. That Marina genuinely loves Kitty makes this picture even more tragic, as it does not ever seem to occur to Marina that her choices and behavior might be destructive to her children. Finally, Marina takes an overdose and is rushed to the hospital. Kitty calls her grandparents, and is finally able to return to their home.

But, although the scene has remained the same, Kitty herself has changed too much to stay there, and decides to go back to boarding school, this time in Connecticut, to make a new start. But here is where the book fails us. Having detailed Kitty's descent, Dahl leaves her redemption to our imagination. We know only that she does manage to make a stable life for herself. Having spent so much time in the dregs with Kitty, it would have been nice if we could have walked with her a bit on her journey up.

Playing With the Grown-ups tells the story of Kitty who is growing up with a troubled family. Most of the family's trouble's center around her rather flighty mother, Marina. Her mother is the source of all of Kitty's trials. From joining a cult to experimenting with drugs--all her behavior clearly mirrors the more seriously troubled behavior of her mother. Her mother is too self-centered and selfish to pay any real attention to Kitty and Kitty desperately craves her mother's love. The story begins with Kitty being phoned in the middle of the night with the information that something has happened to her mother and follows her through her reminisces about her adolescence.

I was really entertained by this book. I loved Kitty. I wanted to give her my mother for a week. My mother has an over-abundance of affection that I would love to rent out to anyone who needs it and Kitty definitely needs it. As much as I loved Kitty, I wanted to strangle Marina. How selfish can one person be? People like Marina should not be allowed to reproduce. Kitty would have been much better of in Hay with Bestemama and Bestepapa. I was a bit disappointed that they did not play a bigger role in the novel. But then again, if they did, Kitty would not have had much of a story. I thought this book was dark in the right places and funny in others. The writing was effective as it was able to bring out some intense feeling in me. I did feel, however, that the ending was a bit unsatisfying. It was obvious where the book was going to end up but I wanted to see how Kitty got there. I wanted to meet the man she married, know how she met him and how she redeemed herself from her previous downward spiral. That perhaps is the stuff of a longer novel.

Sophie Dahl is a very talented writer and I look forward to her future novels.

Sophie Dahl's Playing With the Grown Ups begins in modern day New York, where Kitty is sleeping peacefully in bed with her husband. She then gets the dreaded middle-of-the-night phone call telling her that her mother, Marina, has been hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. Kitty takes the next flight to England and revisits the wild youth she has tried so desperately to escape.

Playing With the Grown Ups consists largely of Kitty's flashbacks. Her childhood was a mad dance of constant change, uncertainty, and her mother's never-ending search for meaning. Kitty was a normal girl until she moved to New York to be with her mother, whose Guru Swami-ji had told her to relocate and take up a career in painting. Kitty tried to act grown up too, wearing her mother's clothes, partying, and experimenting with sex and drugs. Kitty and her family became deeply involved in a Hindu-inspired commune led by Swami-ji and delved deeply into spirituality.

But their new life in New York is short lived. Swami-Ji tells the family to leave New York to avoid imminent "dark times." Marina moves her family to London to start over yet again, but there life became significantly worse. Kitty became involved in drugs and hanging out with the bad kids. By the time Kitty was 15, Marina was doing hard drugs with her daughter and nearly died in Kitty's arms of an overdose. Kitty decided then and there to stop playing "grown-up" and put herself and her future first. She moved back to the United States to start a new life at a boarding school in Connecticut.

This novel was thoroughly engaging. The constant whims of Marina were amusing and sad at the same time. She was a loving mother, but incredibly selfish as well. I wanted to strangle Marina and tell her to put her children's needs before her own. It was frustrating to see how lost the woman was and what a foul influence she was on her children. What sort of mother serves drugs at her daughter's party? Kitty grew up in chaos and experimented with the dark side of life along the way. I felt sorry for her as she struggled to find herself and relieved when she found her way out of her dead-end lifestyle. Had she not, she may have been the one in the hospital from a nervous breakdown instead of Marina. I loved Dahl's fictional memoir format and the detail she put into the storyline. She made a story that could have been dull and depressing a comic read that's hard to put down. I only wish this novel was longer. You'll be touched by Kitty's bravery and strength as she overcomes obstacles and grows into an independent young woman as well.

by Jennifer Melville
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

I was caught between really liking and really loathing this book.
The story never fully completed itself for me, yet the language and prose was beautiful. A "sick" relationship with mother and daughter that inriques you and saddens you all the same. I wish the ending would have resolved the characters more for me.

For: Young people or those who are young at heart
recommended to me by: My book seller
review: I enjoyed this very much. I don't know that it is to all tastes. For instance, those who want a plot. There is character development and some suspense as to whether the plot will unfold as it seems it must.
There is that weird British stuff going on that does not seem to require a car chase, scary people in bars (though some at the rave scared me) or vampires. But otherwise it was good.
Maybe not for Canadians. You know how Canadians can be.

Playing with Grown-Ups tells the coming of age story of a British girl, Kitty, with a troubled family. Kitty's family includes deeply loving grandparents, twin siblings, as well as a tremendously troubled single mother. Kitty's growth and development is clearly shaped by her mother's activities, which include falling in with a religious cult, acquiring, first, an alcoholic boyfriend, and later, a serious drug habit. Throughout the novel Marina, Kitty's mother behaves erratically and generally inappropriately. She is generally physically and/or emotionally absent from Kitty's life, and Kitty deeply craves her love and attention, which always seem to be directed elsewhere. All of this sounds like the stuff of a tragic documentary, and in many ways it is. The tale of Kitty's adolescence often reads like a runaway train. It's clear that Kitty is setting herself up for unfortunate consequences. It is always clear to the reader that some love and attention from Marina would likely change the course of Kitty's life, though that attention never comes. While Kitty's story is clearly unfortunate, the book is not all dreary. This is in many ways a funny book, with a humorous cast of characters, and there's mirth to add life to a sad tale.

While this is a book with some engaging attributes, it also has some significant problems. The characters are sympathetic; I found myself actively reading to find out what happened to Kitty. The story is engaging. Those praises aside, there are problems that outweigh the benefits. The ending of the story is completely predictably, and the author's use of forshadowing reveals the ending almost immediately. The writing is so peppered with pop culture references that it dates the text, and makes it more arduous to read than it should be. Other reviewers have described the writing as "clunky," and I would agree.

The two most significant problems, however, are that first, significant parts of this plot are entirely unbelievable. Second, a number of the most nuanced and important emotional parts of the plot are not part of the writing-- they're simply assumed, ignored. This is especially true of the interactions between Kitty and her mother when all of the major life changes are happening. I have certainly read other British fiction that incorporates these tactics: unbelievable plots, pop culture references (Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic series comes to mind), but other authors (like Kinsella) use these tactics far more effectively, and produce engaging, readable books. In no small part, I suspect this is because Kinsella, et. al. are writing books intended to be humorous, whereas Dahl is trying to write serious literature. Incorporating these devices simply doesn't work with the dark themes Dahl is trying to address.

This book was given to me as a gift. I was so deeply impressed and hooked early on. I lived in London during this time and raised my own daughter there. She captured the essence of the time and place, and the genuine pathos of her view of the world seen through the eyes of a young girl trying to understand life was riveting and heart breaking and at times very amusing. I want to read anything by Sophie Dahl now, from journalism to literature, of any kind. I highly recommend this coming of age tale of family loyalty, love and pain. something very real comes through the pages, and that is the depth of this author's soul. Truly astonishing for a young Renaissance woman of many talents. I read so many contemporary rubbish novels that I can never finish, this one I did not want to end. I might compare it to a modern day JD Salinger.

I read constantly - two books at a time. I LOVE this book. I will own it. It captures a time of growing of up that happened for many, but will not be repeated. Socko!