Playing It by Heart: Taking Care of Yourself No Matter What [Paperback]

Melody Beattie (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 24, 1999

"Beattie understands being overboard, which helps her throw best-selling lifelines to those still adrift."
----TIME

Since the publication of Melody Beattie's groundbreaking book, Codependent No More, millions of people have confronted the demons of codependency. And yet, many in recovery find themselves slipping back into the old ways that brought them such grief.

In her newest book, Beattie helps readers understand what drives them back into the grasp of controlling behavior and victimhood--and what it takes to pull themselves out, to return to the healing, faith, and maturity that comes with a commitment to recovery.

Personal essays, inspiring anecdotes, and prescriptive reminders show readers how to stop acting out their painful obsessions. Marked by compassion and keen insight, Playing It by Heart explores the author's most intense personal lessons and shows readers that, despite setbacks, recovery is a lifelong opportunity for spiritual growth.

In her many best-selling books, including Stop Being Mean to Yourself, Codependent No More, and The Language of Letting Go, Melody Beattie draws on the wisdom of Twelve Step healing, Christianity, and Eastern religions.

 

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Beattie was a struggling single parent of two children, freelance author, and journalist cranking out stories for a small-town daily newspaper in 1986 when she came up with a book idea. She wanted to write a book about what happens to people when they love someone who is addicted to alcohol and other drugs. "There were many books out there about how to help an addict or alcoholic. Nobody was talking about how an addict impacts the lives of the people around him or her, and how crazy you can become when you love someone who is addicted," Beattie said. "Even though I was sober, I didn't know how crazy I could get until it happened to me." Twenty publishers turned down Beattie's book proposal. "It's a good idea, but we don't think there's that many codependents out there," they wrote back. Hazelden, however, a treatment center and recovery publisher based in Minnesota, saw a need for the book. The publisher understood how families of alcoholics suffer and believed Beattie's book idea would help people. Beattie marched to the welfare department, asked for enough financial help to make it through the three months it would take her to write the book, then locked herself in a basement office and cranked out Codependent No More. Codependent No More has now sold 3.5 million copies. Beattie has since written nine more books, five for major publishing houses on the east and west coasts. She relocated from Minnesota to California, and she has long-since paid back the welfare department. Beattie has appeared in the pages of Newsweek and People and has been a regular guest on Geraldo and Oprah. Playing It By Heart is Beattie's first original book for Hazelden since 1990; the book is a return to her recovery roots that first brought her national recognition.

From AudioFile

In a lyrical and gritty narrative, Beatty tells us how she acquired her wisdom about codependency, self-destructiveness and the addictive personality. It's not a pretty picture, but it serves the purpose of prodding listeners to stay with their own discomfort and to let it inform their lives. She also teaches us that we can have relationships with people who respect God's order for them, rather than trying to control or subvert them. The grace and reality of Beatty's narrative, and a nicely balanced reading, will provide a lot of encouragement to listeners. T.W. © AudioFile 2000, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 276 pages
• Publisher: Hazelden (September 24, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 156838338X
• ISBN-13: 978-1568383385
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.2 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #300,016 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Melody Beattie is one of America's most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles. Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More, introduced the world to the term "codependency" in 1986. Millions of readers have trusted Melody's words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they're going through. In her lifetime, she has survived abandonment, kidnapping, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, and the death of a child. "Beattie understands being overboard, which helps her throw bestselling lifelines to those still adrift," said Time Magazine.

Melody was born in St. Paul, Minnesota in 1948. Her father left home when she was a toddler, and she was raised by her mother. She was abducted by a stranger at age four. Although she was rescued the same day, the incident set the tone for a childhood of abuse, and she was sexually abused by a neighbor throughout her youth. Her mother turned a blind eye, just as she had denied the occurrence of abuse in her own past.

"My mother was a classic codependent," Melody recalls. "If she had a migraine, she wouldn't take an aspirin because she didn't do drugs. She believed in suffering." Unlike her mother, Melody was determined to self-medicate her emotional pain. Beattie began drinking at age 12, was a full-blown alcoholic by age 13, and a junkie by 18, even as she graduated from high school with honors. She ran with a crowd called "The Minnesota Mafia" who robbed pharmacies to get drugs. After several arrests, a judge mandated that she had to "go to treatment for as long as it takes or go to jail."

Melody continued to score drugs in treatment until a spiritual epiphany transformed her. "I was on the lawn smoking dope when the world turned this purplish color. Everything looked connected--like a Monet painting. It wasn't a hallucination; it was what the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous calls 'a spiritual awakening.' Until then, I'd felt entitled to use drugs. I finally realized that if I put half as much energy into doing the right thing as I had into doing wrong, I could do anything," Beattie said.

After eight months of treatment, Melody left the hospital clean and sober, ready to take on new goals: helping others get sober, and getting married and having a family of her own. She married a former alcoholic who was also a prominent and respected counselor and had two children with him. Although she had stopped drinking and using drugs, she found herself sinking in despair. She discovered that her husband wasn't sober; he'd been drinking and lying about it since before their marriage.

During her work with the spouses of addicts at a treatment center, she realized the problems that had led to her alcoholism were still there. Her pain wasn't about her husband or his drinking; it was about her. There wasn't a word for codependency yet. While Melody didn't coin the term codependency, she became passionate about the subject. What was this thing we were doing to ourselves?

Driven into the ground financially by her husband's alcoholism, Melody turned a life-long passion for writing into a career in journalism, writing about the issues that had consumed her for years. Her 24-year writing career has produced fifteen books published in twenty languages and hundreds of newspaper and magazine articles. She has been a frequent guest on many national television shows, including Oprah. She and her books continue to be featured regularly in national publications including Time, People, and most major periodicals around the world.

Although it almost destroyed her when her twelve-year-old son Shane died in a ski accident in 1991, eventually Melody picked up the pieces of her life again. "I wanted to die, but I kept waking up alive," she says. She began skydiving, mountain-climbing, and teaching others what she'd learned about grief.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

34 of 37 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Another Groundbreaking Book. . ., October 6, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Playing It by Heart: Taking Care of Yourself No Matter What (Paperback)

Melody's inspired wisdom will help thousands of people who move forward, then backward, then forward, then backward; first feeling free of the bonds of codependency, then not being sure when setbacks occur. I believe that most codependent people -- some secretly and others not so secretly -- long to be in complete control of their lives. My dad, a minister, called it "back-sliding." Those in recovery will learn that in spite of setbacks, focus and balance are necessary. Recovery is a lifelong journey of personal and spiritual growth. This book will help! This book is another winner for Melody!

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Inspiring anecdotes and prescriptive reminders, July 4, 2001

By 

Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Playing It by Heart: Taking Care of Yourself No Matter What (Paperback)

In Playing It By Heart: Taking Care Of Yourself No Matter What, Melody Beattie (author of Codependent No More) addresses the issues involved with why people who have struggled so hard to shake off controlling dysfunctional behaviors and victimhood fall back into self-destructive, self-diminishing situations and relationships. Through the use of personal essays, inspiring anecdotes, and prescriptive reminders, Beattie reveals how to stop acting out painful obsessions and shows that despite occasional setbacks, recovery is a lifelong opportunity for spiritual growth and a co-dependency free, gratifying, enjoyable life of accomplishments and relationships. Highly recommended for personal self-help, self-improvement reading lists and community library reference collections.

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Self-Care Begins Here!, February 18, 2001

By 

Brian Nahodil (Catlett, VA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Playing It by Heart: Taking Care of Yourself No Matter What (Paperback)

As an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, I found great solace in reading the writings of Melody Beattie many years ago as I began the struggle through the pain and confusion of attempting to understand my childhood and my father. When I read Beattie's books a long time ago and then later focused on her Meditation series for Co-dependency I was amazed how this counselor could speak directly to me as if she lived my life. I was rather naďve not to realize that it was from her own personal struggle with addiction from whence she was writing about. I was shocked and amazed in this work to learn so much of Ms. Beattie's life and inspirations. Furthermore, she gave me an understanding of the addiction purely from the addict's side of the fence. I'm one of the lucky ones, having been able to spiritually connect with my parent before he died of his alcoholism and to bury a lot of old wounds with love at the end of his life. Thanks to Melody I can understand even further the beast of the disease that took my father and robbed me of so many things.

This is a book I will keep at the front of my bookshelf for a long, long time and no doubt refer to it often. I highly recommend this if you're familiar with her books or better yet if you're just considering the possibilities of getting aquatinted with Ms. Beattie. I assure you, you will not be disappointed. This is one of the best books I've ever had the privilege of reading.