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Playing Hurt: A Guy's Strategy for a Winning Marriage Paperback – June 24, 2011

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About the Author

Brian s home base is in Charlotte, NC where he serves as lead pastor for Renaissance Bible Church. He enjoys traveling and speaking to couples at Family Life s Weekend to Remember conferences with Jennifer, his bride and mother of their three children (Brantley, Palmer, and Gibson). He s written numerous study guides, workbooks, and Bible studies that he has developed for Insight for Living and Walk Thru the Bible.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 152 pages
  • Publisher: Kregel Publications (June 24, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0825426731
  • ISBN-13: 978-0825426735
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,044,120 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Andrew Smith on September 6, 2011
Format: Paperback
In Playing Hurt, Brian Goins teaches husbands about how men are suppose to handle their marriage. Men can play hurt in sports and still have the determination to get back up and get back in the game. But in marriage, Goins has seen men walk away and give up on being there for their wives. When men are hurt we incline to have our way. We want our wives to change but we often don't get to root of who we can actually change. Sometimes men tend to shrink back and play hurt when we get offended. It is imperative that men grow up and overcome their boyish ways. We don't always have to win the fights and we don't have to withdrawn from our wife when we become angry. Goins had a great point about remembering who our real enemy is. It isn't our wives but it is the king of lies, Satan. We are called to love our wife like Christ loved the church. One day we will have to hand our wife back to Jesus.

Goins has many role models in his life that he is encouraged by and challenged to become like. He isn't looking up to celebrities' marriage but everyday men who love their wife like Christ does. Goins shared Greg`s story that really jumped out at me. Greg takes care of his wife who is in a wheelchair. He loved her enough to help her in health and sickness. That is my definition of what marriage is suppose to be like. We can't give up and say it is too hard. Most of us choose to get married.

This is what we are called to do in marriage and in our lives:

"Jesus is a perfect God loving imperfect people unconditionally for a lifetime. The only thing greater than that would be if God's imperfect people loved other imperfect people unconditionally for a lifetime" (Page 137).

I would recommend this book to any husband and single men.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on October 10, 2011
Format: Paperback
This book is written for the husband. I am not a husband; I am a wife. However, I read it anyway. I thought maybe I could highlight the parts I wanted my husband to do. Just kidding! He's not a reader, but he is a pretty good husband.

Back to the book...

For a man to follow the author's advice, he would have to make some changes and stands that may conflict with his buddies' ideas. However, being married is one of the best parts of life, when both the man and woman do their part. The world would be a better place if marriages would be taken seriously and not ruined by such selfish agendas. This would be a great starter book for the single man and a resource to help the married man.

The author does an excellent job of getting the male reader to listen with his sports analogies. Not only will the male reader see how he can improve his marriage, the female reader (me) will see some things she's done in her own marriage to hurt her husband and hopefully make improvements from her side of the playing field.

Disclosure: I received this book from Kregel Publications, in exchange for my honest review.

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Format: Paperback
In this book, Goins presents a contextualized plea to guys to lead and love in their marriage like Christ leads and loves the church. Rather than simply exegete the relevant biblical texts, which Goins does superbly, he chose to reorient his ideas into the sports related metaphor of "playing hurt."

In my mind, this makes the book essentially a "marriage book for the guy who doesn't read books." If that was indeed the target Goins had in mind, I think he succeeds for three reasons:

The book is written in a conversational style
The book is short but cuts straight to the point
The book is full of sports references and analogies (and stories).

The agenda Goins sets for the book should further encourage you to check it out:

In this book, I don't want to guilt-trip you into action. I also don't want to merely offer tips and techniques on being a better husband. Frankly, there are far better marriage coaches out there than I am. More than anything, I want to expand your vision, and I pray that God will open up your restricted passions. I want you to know that you're not alone in the battle. And as you learn to play hurt, I hope you'll discover a few plays you can run to help prevent further injuries (p. 18).

In other words, if you're a guy, and you're married, this book is for you. Sure, there are other great marriage books out there, as Goins himself points out. But this book is biblical in its foundation, clear and culturally relevant in its presentation, and full of godly wisdom in its applications. Even if you've read several marriage books, this one is particularly suited for guys, yet without sacrificing quality in its biblical and theological advice.
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Format: Paperback
Playing Hurt by author Brian Goins (Kregel, 2011) is, hands down, the best book of its kind that I have read. It is thoroughly biblical, Gospel-centered, and written from such a manly perspective you can almost smell the sweaty socks laying in the corner and see the underwear laying in the floor that didn't get picked up after the last shower (or maybe the one before last).

The book centers around Paul's well-known admonition to husbands in Ephesians 5:25: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." As such, Goins shows that Christ is the ultimate example for Christian husbands to seek to emulate. Goins does not, however, simply encourage husbands to look at how far we are from Christ's example, and then encourage us to try harder to do better. Instead, he shows that we cannot live in this way without Christ's power and presence with us. As Goins says, "God's not looking for willpower and good techniques. He wants men brave enough to depend on His strength more than their own." (139)

The great irony the author points out is that the very one we have been called to love sacrificially, our wife, is the one who often "hurts" us, whether through unmet expectations, harsh criticism, or in some other way. It is at this point that many husbands go running for the bench, either by lashing out in retaliation, or by clamming up, going into silent mode. Goins shows how it is at these difficult moments that men must man-up, "playing hurt" rather than simply giving up and being content to sit on the bench.

Goins writes not from the perspective of one who has achieved the status of "model husband," but as one who is a fellow traveler. He shares personal examples where he has gotten it right, as well as instances where he has blown it.
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