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Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities Paperback – September 1, 2012

4.8 out of 5 stars 30 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Harrington and Williams adeptly offer information, wisdom and insight to anyone traversing this erotic territory... One of the first books I'll recommend to fledgling kinksters.” - Race Bannon, Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun BDSM Lovemaking

"The first book to completely address the most important steps in negotiating the brave new kink world - how to find it, pick what part you want to explore, talk to the natives and join in the fun!” - Laura Antoniou, The Marketplace series

"Plenty of resources tell you how to find your local BDSM community, but very few help you once you get there. This book is packed with tips about what to expect, how to communicate, and how to behave in different kinky situations.” -Tristan Taormino, The Ultimate Guide to Kink

About the Author

Lee Harrington is a passionate spiritual and erotic educator, gender explorer, eclectic artist and published author and editor on human sexuality and spiritual experience. Along his journey he has been a brainy academic, a female adult film performer (under his previous name Bridgett Harrington), a world class sexual adventurer, an outspoken philosopher, a long-time sexuality and spirituality blogger (since 1998), a spirit worker and priest, and an award winning writer and artist. Lee's essays, podcast, videos and more are available at passionandsoul.com.

A founding member of San Francisco's Crowded Fire Theater Company, Mo is the author of several solo shows, including the critically acclaimed "69Stories: One Pervert's Tale.”A proud leatherwoman, performer, BDSM educator, fat fetish model and Executive Pervert, she is extremely honored to have served as Ms. San Francisco Leather 2009 and International Ms Leather 2010. Mo blogs on The Perverted Negress at Mollena.com.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 312 pages
  • Publisher: Greenery Press (September 1, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0937609587
  • ISBN-13: 978-0937609583
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 1 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #406,945 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Playing Well With Others is the Baedekers of the leather/BDSM/kink/alt-sex world! It is the first book to completely address the most important steps in negotiating the brave new kink universe - how to find it, pick what part you want to explore, talk to the natives and join in the fun. There is no other book like this - no tips on bondage or spanking here! Just how to find the sexually adventurous folks, how to talk to them, negotiate your way around, and find what you're looking for without being creepy, feeling dim, or acting too much like a tourist.
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Format: Paperback
Playing Well with Others by Harrington and Williams is an indispensable guide and much needed addition to the literature on kinky communities. The authors are able to blend their expertise with a caring, accessible style that will feel welcoming to newcomers and seasoned explorers alike. Their writing invokes a perfect tone for mainstream readers while weaving in the levels of inclusiveness for which they are so well known in their communities. Not only do they offer a wealth of valuable information, they offer themselves as step-by-step coaches via original insight and explanations of many things that typically go unspoken. I would not hesitate to recommend this book to health practitioners and researchers as well; those who need to learn more about the topic for professional reasons will also have much to gain from this lovingly crafted, well-organized, and detailed book.

Ruth Neustifter, Ph.D.
Author of The Nice Girl's Guide to Talking Dirty
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
A well written well thought out 'how to' on navigating the BDSM communities. It dishes out well thought out strategies on how to play nicely in a myriad of different situations, gives fabulous advice on negotiation and relationships and all handed to you in a fun playful manner. Lee and Mollena don't disappoint in giving not only the brand spanking new kinkster great tips on discovering their kink but give great tips to those who wear Master's caps.
From walking brand new into your first play party, to online interaction to how to identify a cult. These two have covered it all without being preachy. Excellent read!
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Format: Kindle Edition
This is a great introduction to the kink community and to kink in general; not from a "how to safely tie people up" angle, but from a "what is this community all about, why would I even want to know, and how can I get socially involved without damaging myself or others" perspective.

There's a great deal of information in this book that anyone can use, even non-kinksters, including the importance of friends, understanding and negotiating what one wants in a relationship - whether with one's partner or one's community or oneself, and understanding one's own emotional state and reactions to events.

I appreciate the book's focus on knowing oneself and one's own principles and limits. There's a worthy caution against pressure to take actions that the participant is not prepared for, and that pressure may just as likely come from within as from without. The text poses a lot of probing questions to encourage the reader to understand their own motivations. Overall, I found the book to be very educational and thought-provoking, and not only about the communities it covers.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
A great book for everyone. New people will get a ton of great info and the old timers will be reminded what it is like to be new and hopefully pick up some pointers on how to help the new people integrate more smoothly and keep themselves safe.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
If you're looking for an introduction to BDSM and kink and aren't sure if it's for you or want to know what it really is about, you'll be disappointed.

However, if you've gotten past the point of knowing you're kinky and you want to venture out into the world of BDSM, this is absolutely the book for you.

The authors have a fantastic, friendly style of writing and cover everything in detail. A lot of their advice may seem simple and obvious but people get excited and nervous around this topic so I think being thorough is a good thing.

The Kindle version has some typos and formatting issues but nothing so bad that it isn't obvious what they meant.
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Format: Paperback
These two educators have really hit it out of the park with Playing Well With Others. From newly minted kinksters to experienced edge players, fabulous fetishists to savvy swingers, this book provides a wealth of useable information and incredible resources on how to optimize your experiences in the kink, leather and even swinging communities. If only every new player had to read this before attending events, everyone would have much better communication and more satisfying interactions. A must have for your bookshelf!
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have been out of the circuit and lifestyle as far as playing and going to parties. This book has helped me ease back into the scene without falling on my face and with real expectations in how to navigate my way in my local community and those abroad. I would not recommend this book to those who are just coming into the scene, but for those who have not been active and coming back to the scene again.
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