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Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: a Novel [Paperback]

Bradley Sands (Author)
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
Price: $11.95 & FREE Shipping on orders over $25. Details
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Book Description

Publication Date: October 23, 2011
A tour-de-force. A harrowing comic masterpiece. A timely novel that transcends the times. An instant American classic. This is what critics are not saying about Bradley Sands' latest magnum opus, Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel.

A novel in three parts, Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel, is the story of one boy detective, the worst ninja in the world, and the great American fast food wars. It is a novel of loss, destruction, and--incredibly--genuine hope. 

Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel contains three classic Bradley Sands novellas: "Frankie Nougat and the Case of the Missing Heart," "Cheesequake Smash-Up," and "Apocalypse Ninja."

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Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"And, though brilliant and vastly intelligent, it should also be noted that Bradley Sands is
a dick." - CRACKED.COM

"Bradley Sands has succeeded where all other novelists have failed: he has written the Great American Novel. Martin Amis came close to beating him to the punch a few years ago, but he accidentally wrote his novel on the wrong body of land and has been crying like a little girl ever since. If you have any compassion in your heart, end Martin Amis's sorrow with the joy of Sands's brilliant American prose. But be sure to read Please Do Not Shoot Me In the Face before giving it away forever--Amis has never returned a book in his life." - Bradley Sands, author of Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy
 
"This is a book for anyone who has ever hated someone. This is a book for anyone who has ever wanted to break into someone's house while they were sleeping, wrap a book around your fist, and punch that asshole in the throat until they're dead. This is that kind of book." - Bradley Sands, author of Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You
 
"In Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face, Bradley Sands uses literary sleight of hand to miraculously create a novel out of three novellas. The novella, "Apocalypse Ninja," achieves the grand feat of being the stupidest thing ever written. With shuriken-sharp writing, Sands fulfills mankind's greatest unconscious desire without even pooping his pants." - Bradley Sands, author of My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes!

Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Eraserhead Press (October 23, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1621050106
  • ISBN-13: 978-1621050100
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,186,293 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

› Visit Amazon's Bradley Sands Page
Bradley Sands
Bradley Sands is an author of bizarro fiction. He wrote TV Snorted My Brain, Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel, Rico Slade Will F*cking Kill You, Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy, and other books.

Visit him at www.bradleysands.com

Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
(10)
4.4 out of 5 stars
See all 10 customer reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fun Collection May 23, 2012
By R. Moschgat Jr.
Format:Paperback
This is the third book that I have read by Bradley and I enjoyed this one as much as the other two.
I liked the little "interludes" between Bradley and Frankie Nougat, who is the main character in the first novella.
A fine little collection that will fit right in there with all the other Bizarro you have in your collection. Be sure to pick this one up!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Please DO Shoot Me in the Face, I LOVE IT! April 13, 2012
By Vince Kramer
Format:Paperback
This is the best book ever. It has three great novellas and awesome interludes starring the author himself and it's got the best book title I've heard all year and the cover is awesome and the whole thing is hilarious, great, and amazing.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Everyone is insane, and this book knows it August 27, 2012
By 100-letter thunder-word
Format:Paperback
Firstly: I believe this is a novel. Why? Because it claims to be one. The book believes itself to be a novel, and the book knows itself better than anyone, so who are we to question it?

Now that that's settled...

This book is seriously funny and inventive. The humor is both schizophrenic and juvenile, neurotic and hyperactive. Every character in Sands' universe is in some way mentally unstable. I don't think there is a single normal person or event in the entire book; if there were, it wouldn't be a Bradley Sands book. The narratives seem to strain toward greater and greater ridiculousness, climbing an exponential curve of absurdity until they implode into singularities of psychosis. This book displays a zaniness, a wackiness, a kookiness that is almost vulgar.

Of the three parts of this book, my favorites are the first two. The last part, "Apocalypse Ninja", seemed to be lacking something. It was a little too heavy on the juvenile effect, and although that juvenile aspect is a crucial part of Sands' work, I find that it works best when balanced out with a more serious kind of dementia, even if that seriousness goes unstated and just lurks in the background while the more childish antics unfold.

As a whole, the book succeeds. The book is mentally unstable. I identify with the mentally unstable book. If you identify with mentally unstable things (and chances are you do), then pick up a copy of this book and let it be your friend.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars A Book in Search of a Theme
Three fun and absurd novellas connected with interludes in which the author hires a detectives to track down the common themes that tie the stories together. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Sarah A. Shaw
1.0 out of 5 stars I can't believe I actually read the whole thing
The premise was stupid, and the overall book concept and presenrtation was assinine. I would not buy or borrow another book by this author
Published 2 months ago by JB
5.0 out of 5 stars YOU GET TO BE THE DETECTIVE
Please Don't Shoot Me In The Face is bigger than the Bible, the best book you'll ever read and that's quote from Little Boy Detective Frankie Nougat. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Donald Armfield
5.0 out of 5 stars Powerful
I have never read "Bizarro" fiction before, or written a book review. I found this book by googling terms related to my mild to severe suicidal ideation. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Rachel Noël
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the funniest books ever
Another review has done a good job or summarizing so I won't go through that.
This book had me laughing out loud, quoting lines, posting quotes online for my friends, and... Read more
Published 15 months ago by Sir Ethan of Potatolamp
5.0 out of 5 stars Another karate chop to the brain stem from Bradley Sands!
Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face is a collection of three novellas. Or is it a novel? That's what Bradley Sands has hired 7 year old detective Frankie Nougat to find out. Read more
Published 17 months ago by D. Schwent
5.0 out of 5 stars Great collection
Please Do Not Shoot Me In The Face: A Novel is the latest collection from Sands. Other than Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy and My Heart Said No But The Camera Crew Said Yes! Read more
Published 18 months ago by Jay Slayton-joslin
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