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Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face Paperback – October 23, 2011


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Eraserhead Press (October 23, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1621050106
  • ISBN-13: 978-1621050100
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,457,739 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"And, though brilliant and vastly intelligent, it should also be noted that Bradley Sands is a dick." - CRACKED.COM

"Bradley Sands has succeeded where all other novelists have failed: he has written the Great American Novel. Martin Amis came close to beating him to the punch a few years ago, but he accidentally wrote his novel on the wrong body of land and has been crying like a little girl ever since. If you have any compassion in your heart, end Martin Amis's sorrow with the joy of Sands's brilliant American prose. But be sure to read Please Do Not Shoot Me In the Face before giving it away forever--Amis has never returned a book in his life." - Bradley Sands, author of Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy
 
"This is a book for anyone who has ever hated someone. This is a book for anyone who has ever wanted to break into someone's house while they were sleeping, wrap a book around your fist, and punch that asshole in the throat until they're dead. This is that kind of book." - Bradley Sands, author of Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You
 
"In Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face, Bradley Sands uses literary sleight of hand to miraculously create a novel out of three novellas. The novella, "Apocalypse Ninja," achieves the grand feat of being the stupidest thing ever written. With shuriken-sharp writing, Sands fulfills mankind's greatest unconscious desire without even pooping his pants." - Bradley Sands, author of My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes!

More About the Author

Bradley Sands is an author of bizarro fiction. He wrote Dodgeball High, TV Snorted My Brain, Rico Slade Will F*cking Kill You, Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy, and other books.

Visit him at www.bradleysands.com

Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
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See all 12 customer reviews
As such, I was going to skip it and just read the other two novellas.
Amazon Customer
I decided that this book used the word "poop" the right number of times, probably.
Rachel Noël
The grins per page rating was very high and there was a lot of action.
D. Schwent

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By R. Moschgat on May 23, 2012
Format: Paperback
This is the third book that I have read by Bradley and I enjoyed this one as much as the other two.
I liked the little "interludes" between Bradley and Frankie Nougat, who is the main character in the first novella.
A fine little collection that will fit right in there with all the other Bizarro you have in your collection. Be sure to pick this one up!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Vince Kramer on April 13, 2012
Format: Paperback
This is the best book ever. It has three great novellas and awesome interludes starring the author himself and it's got the best book title I've heard all year and the cover is awesome and the whole thing is hilarious, great, and amazing.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By 100-letter thunder-word on August 27, 2012
Format: Paperback
Firstly: I believe this is a novel. Why? Because it claims to be one. The book believes itself to be a novel, and the book knows itself better than anyone, so who are we to question it?

Now that that's settled...

This book is seriously funny and inventive. The humor is both schizophrenic and juvenile, neurotic and hyperactive. Every character in Sands' universe is in some way mentally unstable. I don't think there is a single normal person or event in the entire book; if there were, it wouldn't be a Bradley Sands book. The narratives seem to strain toward greater and greater ridiculousness, climbing an exponential curve of absurdity until they implode into singularities of psychosis. This book displays a zaniness, a wackiness, a kookiness that is almost vulgar.

Of the three parts of this book, my favorites are the first two. The last part, "Apocalypse Ninja", seemed to be lacking something. It was a little too heavy on the juvenile effect, and although that juvenile aspect is a crucial part of Sands' work, I find that it works best when balanced out with a more serious kind of dementia, even if that seriousness goes unstated and just lurks in the background while the more childish antics unfold.

As a whole, the book succeeds. The book is mentally unstable. I identify with the mentally unstable book. If you identify with mentally unstable things (and chances are you do), then pick up a copy of this book and let it be your friend.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Sarah A. Shaw on March 20, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition
Three fun and absurd novellas connected with interludes in which the author hires a detectives to track down the common themes that tie the stories together. A fresh and witty idea for a book that transforms it from a collection into a novel. Sarcastic and bold, I enjoyed this and recommend it to readers of the weird and irreverent.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Donald Armfield on August 26, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Please Don't Shoot Me In The Face is bigger than the Bible, the best book you'll ever read and that's quote from Little Boy Detective Frankie Nougat.

Bradley Sands ask us to read this novel, that wants to be a novel and find the theme. Or heck with it and have some laughs. From the case of the missing heart to the Cheesequake Smash-Up and ending the novel (or is it?) with the bizarre story of Apocalypse Ninja you will remember the bizarro man himself Bradley' Sands.

Overall my favorite part of Novel, or my most favorite of the three novellas is cheesequake smash-up. A video game like no other with a cast of characters from hit TV show The Office, but with a Mr. Sands dialogue and description.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Rachel Noël on May 9, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have never read "Bizarro" fiction before, or written a book review. I found this book by googling terms related to my mild to severe suicidal ideation. The first thing I thought of when I picked this book up to read it was, "Wow, this book feels really good. I don't know what kind of paper they used, but it feels good. I'm glad I'm not reading this book on a Kindle because it produces positive tactile sensations." Then I started reading the first story and thought something like, "This story is 'cute' and 'sad,'" and then, "I wonder if this book uses the word 'poop' too many times." I decided I would finish reading it and then decide. I read the next story and I thought, "This story makes me feel like I have to pee. A story that makes me feel like I have to pee seems 'powerful' to me, I think." I was enjoying the book so much that I didn't want to pee because I would have to take a short break from reading, but then I also felt, if I was thinking about having to pee, I really wasn't giving it my full attention. I read the next story and, even though I just finished reading it about ten minutes ago, I don't really remember how it made me feel. Maybe it reminded me of my mom because she likes metal a lot. The epilogue made me laugh out loud, and seem "crazy." I decided that this book used the word "poop" the right number of times, probably. I think the best thing about this book was, it mentioned all the different types of bodily fluids I could imagine, and all the types of holes in your body bodily fluids can come out of including boob holes. It had mostly short sentences, and a lot of violence. It made me feel like a little boy sometimes, and I felt "excited." I think this book is very good. I'm glad I found it by googling terms related to my mild to severe suicidal ideation.
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