Please Stop Laughing at Me: One Woman's Inspirational True Story [Paperback]

Jodee Blanco (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 18, 2010

While other children were daydreaming about dances, first kisses, and college, Jodee Blanco was trying to figure out how to go from homeroom to study hall without being taunted or spit upon as she walked through the halls.

This powerful, unforgettable memoir chronicles how one child was shunned—and even physically abused—by her classmates from elementary school through high school. It is an unflinching look at what it means to be the outcast, how even the most loving parents can get it all wrong, why schools are often unable to prevent disaster, and how bullying has been misunderstood and mishandled by the mental health community.

You will be shocked, moved, and ultimately inspired by this harrowing tale of survival against insurmountable odds. This vivid story will open your eyes to the harsh realities and long-term consequences of bullying—and how all of us can make a difference in the lives of teens today.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A publicist (and author of The Complete Guide to Book Publicity) who has promoted several bestsellers, Blanco was once a troubled child, tormented by her school mates. In this moving account, Blanco describes how she was first victimized in a Roman Catholic grammar school because she defended some deaf children when they were picked on by hearing students. She gave the names of the ringleaders of this cruel activity to one of the nuns, and was subsequently ostracized by former friends for being a tattletale. After Blanco transferred to another school, she continued a pattern of reporting bad behavior to authority figures and became a true outsider. According to the author, her parents were sympathetic, but they made things worse by forcing her to see a therapist. He prescribed medication that made her sleepy and told her that "kids will be kids." In high school, she was physically abused by students who also objected to her "goody two shoes" attitude. During her teen years, Blanco's emotional problems were compounded by a physical problem that caused her breasts to grow at different rates (later corrected by surgery). Blanco does feel, however, that those painful early years gave her the strength to become a successful adult. Although the text is overwritten in parts, the author's courageous and honest memoir of the years she spent as the victim of her contemporaries points smartly to the inability of adults to deal with issues of serious bullying.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From School Library Journal

Adult/High School-From fifth grade through high school, Blanco was teased, shunned, and, at times, physically assaulted by her classmates because she was different. She befriended handicapped students, "ratted" on the activities of fellow 12-year-olds at her first boy/girl party, and could not bring herself to dissect a fetal pig. Her experiences with school bullies occurred in a variety of settings, including religious and private schools. At various points in this visceral memoir, Blanco fumes at the injustice of being subjected to psychiatric diagnosis and medication while her tormentors remained unbothered and oblivious, and states that "sticking up for people" and/or being different is a "social death warrant." While her loving parents were sympathetic and supportive, their well-meant admonitions to ignore her harassers and "rise above it all" sprang from adult logic; adolescents simply interpreted her indifference as weakness. The author's emotional torment was partly due to a breast deformity; corrective surgery performed prior to her senior year allowed her, finally, to begin viewing her future optimistically. Adults may consider some of Blanco's scenes as hyperbole, but teens will find them authentic and apt. Many will take comfort both in the universality of the experiences and in Blanco's transformation from an unhappy, embittered ugly duckling to a poised, accomplished swan. Others, if they are honest, just might recognize bullying tendencies in themselves and become sufficiently chagrined to reexamine their views and actions toward nonconformists of all stripes.
Dori DeSpain, Fairfax County Public Library, VA
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Adams Media (July 18, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1440509867
• ISBN-13: 978-1440509865
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.9 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (247 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #43,311 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #77 in Books > Self-Help > Abuse

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

184 of 211 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Too Much of a Wallow, Not Enough Overcoming... April 22, 2004

By Jesse Penitent

Format:Paperback

As a victim of bullying from grade school through high school, I wanted to like this book. In fact, I was annoyed when I read some of the negative reviews here. They seemed to be written by bullies themselves. Then I read the book.

Oh boy.

A great deal has been made of it being written in response to the Columbine shootings. Recent information, however, reveals the Columbine shooters weren't victims of bullying so much as they were contemptuous psychopaths who thought themselves superior to EVERYONE and planned to kill EVERYONE from the meanest jock to the lowliest nerd. I'm not sure "Please Stop" is going to help stop the creation of future Klebolds and Harrises.

Nor is it going to do much for victims of bullies beyond assuring them that lots of other people get bullied--some worse than others. I would ten times rather Jodee had expounded on the resources she had to draw upon to get through high school. I would like to have heard about the skills she developed to go from high school victim to real-world success story. (How DOES someone so hated and so downtrodden become a publicist for Muhammad Ali and Jim Carrey?) I would rather have read about what kinds of support she and her various outsider friends gave each other to buffer the cruelty they suffered.

Instead, we get 200 plus pages of graphic description of how mean everyone was, how clueless the world was, and (apparently) what a nice, saintly girl Jodee was. (I was bullied,too, but even I know that I wasn't Bernadette of Lourdes--I could be snarky and prissy and deliberately dorky. Does this excuse my tormentors? No. Does it explain their behavior? A little. Did I knock myself out trying to make them like me? Not on your life. I found my own strange little circle of buddies and together we got through it. Do I have days when I get mad on behalf of the teenager I was? Sure. Then I remember I am NOT the teenager I was and I get back to my real life.)

Would I recommend this to victims of bullies? Well, I'm a librarian and I know some kids who would likely eat this up with a spoon. Sure, I'd recommend it. I would caution them that it won't help them with their troubles beyond the "you're not alone out there" speech.

Would I recommend this to people who might be bullies? Chances are they are the ones reading it. I know waaaay too many kids who viciously pick at their classmates, peers and friends, yet read all of David Pelzer's books and comment on how much they wish they could save the child he was from being abused. They attend popular films in which underdogs overcome tremendous obstacles tossed in their paths by bullies--and they will root for that underdog. But even though their often do and say to their peers things much worse than Jodee suffered, they will not recognize themselves in the bullies at her schools. (Heck, almost none of Jodee's tormentors saw themselves as bullies, either. They remain clueless and, I suspect, some of them suck up to her because of who she is now and who she knows.)

I wish I could recommend it for the detailed descriptions of the inner resources Jodee discovered and the phenomenal skills she developed to become the person she is today. Sadly, I can only recommend it as a kind of "printed pity party" that will leave victims wondering how to heal themselves and move on.

81 of 95 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Huge disappointment April 5, 2007

By A. Writer O. Sorts

Format:Paperback

Judging by the two comments on my original review below, I should have added more supporting information about my opinion of this book. Here it is.
I do not find this story enlightening, illuminating or useful, as the comments about my review imply I should. Here is what I have found to be the most useful writer on the topic: Michael Thompson, author of "Raising Caine" and the more relevant book to bullying: "Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children." Of course, he has the advantage of being a psychologist and expert on the topic of children's social lives.
Another detriment to the credibility of "Stop Laughing At Me" is the fact that Jodee's parents indulged her in ways that neither my parents nor any parents of anyone else I know who was bullied ever did. They let her change schools. They sent her to the Greek island of Santorini for months. Hey, there's a nice way to escape the bullying! I would have settled for just changing schools (in fact, when I entered college, the bullying was over for me).
My point about Jodee's book is that it offers no inspiration or solution to bullying if you don't have parents who can afford to send you to different schools or to an overseas resort. I sure can't afford to do that with my children. It does not address the responsibility of schools and adults in general to maintain a safe environment for children.
Here is my original review:
As someone who was bullied growing up and who now has children in school, I was eager to read this book. But I was disappointed and in some ways disgusted. Perhaps part of that is my own fault -- my expectations held all the way to the end that I would get some insight, just some little peak into why bullying happens, whether it can be stopped, what adults can do to stop it or negate its effects. Anything useful. I also grew up with the attitude that kids (and adults) shouldn't be bullying each other, period. They shouldn't be obsessed with popularity, wealth, beauty, social climbing. Just let me be me and stop laughing at me, and I'll let you be you and treat you with equal respect. Well, Jodee isn't coming from that perspective. Her entire book is a rant based on the assumption that she should have been popular among her peers and that cruel kids and cruel fate robbed her of this right -- the right to be one of the other bullies! And how does she deal with it? By becoming a narcissist for life and writing a book bragging about how she now hobnobs with celebrities -- while taking her jabs at her peers who didn't give her the status she felt she deserved. I'm sorry, but I cannot relate to that at all. It is disgusting and pathetic, and an injustice to see this recommended by so many people. How does this help kids? It tells them that they can be popular too if they fight, scratch, complain their way to the "top" of something, and write a book to say "see, I told you I should have been popular! Nyah!" If I could give this book a zero or negative stars, I would have.

34 of 38 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Please Stop Whining at Me September 7, 2010

By Hornblower

Format:Paperback

I was bullied for my entire high school existence. Being a big red-headed kid with bad acne produced the same social results as a red-and-white bullseye does when mounted on a suitable target. So yeah---I know what being bullied is allllll about.

But what Jodee Blanco went through---I started doing more wondering about her state-of-mind than sympathizing: Why oh why did this girl decide over and over again to be included in the clique of people who did not share her values or interests? Why was it so important to her to intrude into groups where she a.) was not welcome and b.) should have realized that these groups were not healthy for ANYONE to be part of? Why did she have to keep switching schools? Why did she make the same overtures every place she went? Why did she immediately hone in on the "popular" group to join, when being a part of a group that shared her interests (volunteerism, teaching, advocating for the disabled) would have produced more positive results? Why did teachers "pick on her?" ( Frankly, I found the example of the wheelchair-bound teacher ridiculing her in front of the class to be so far-fetched as to be bordering on total fiction---and I went to school in the days of corporal punishment.)Why were her therapists all "clueless?" Why did she feel the need to go back to see the popular crowd at their reunion? Gloating, of course, is a recognizeable motivation for many to attend such events---but in her case--wouldn't she have WANTED to stay away from the people who had tormented her? Isn't "living well the best revenge," if your own success is the point you're trying to make?

Sadly, this book did not make me look at bullying in a new light. I didn't learn much new about the traits that make a child a "target" for bullying behaviors. I just heard a lot about Jodee Blanco's horrible quest for a social life on the top of the adolescent heap in about a half dozen different school settings, where she felt "entitled" to membership in the group she perceived as being "the best and the brightest." I would LOVE to hear from the people she passed by in her quest for elite status---those ordinary kids who would maybe have enjoyed socializing with her while also sharing experiences of helping at, say, Special Olympics events and volunteering at the homeless shelters instead of baking cookies for the football team on game days.

A college graduate? A stunning success in her very own PR business? An author and inspirational speaker? All I saw of Jodee Blanco in this book was an angry post-adolescent, still begging for acceptance of the people who, by her own admission, tormented her through her teen years, and still hitting her head against the stronger-than-steel Clearasil Ceiling that is the dividing barrier between all high school cliques.