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There are few better openers than the one Waters created for POLYESTER. Following the prologue, which explains the magic of Odorama, the camera takes us on a tour of Francine Fishpaw (Divine)'s house accompanied by a hilarious theme song sung by Tab Hunter (written by Blondie's Chris Stein and Deborah Harry). Up the camera goes into Francine's room, showing her in her oversized undergarments as she trims her nostril hair, shaves her armpits, and puts on her dress. She goes on a scale which reads 310 lbs and she angrily kicks the scale away. Francine's husband Elmer (David Samson) owns a porn theatre and outside of the couple's house, picketers voice their disgust with a hilarious chant: "2,4,6,8, X-rated movies we all hate. 1,2,5,9, G-rated movies are mighty fine." Francine, a devout Christian, is humiliated. Elmer is ecstatic: "All that free publicity! I can't wait to see the 11 o'clock news!" Their children are a son named Dexter (Ken King) who has a strange fascination for feet and a scrapbook to prove it and a daughter named Lu-Lu (Mary Garlington) whose raging hormones cause her to announce: "I learned all about my cervix in sex education class yesterday!" Francine's mother makes her life even worse. When Francine is on the toilet, her mother walks in and says: "Can't you do that later. I don't have all day, you know. I'm missing valuable shopping time." Francine's only refuge from this living nightmare is her former cleaning lady Cuddles (Edith Massey) who's now rich thanks to an inheritance from another family she worked for. Cuddles pictures herself as the cream of the crop and loves to speak pig latin and French despite her speech impediment due to her missing front teeth.
Thanks to her husband who cheats on her and rubs it in her face, her dysfunctional children, and her mother from hell, Francine's life plummets into alcoholism until she meets the man of her dreams - Todd Tomorrow (Tab Hunter). She first sees Todd standing in front of his white corvette, scratching his crotch as she looks out of the window of Cuddles' limousine. Later, Todd and Francine "meet cute" at the scene of a gory car accident. What follows is Waters' parodying the cheesy romantic montages of other films. The lovers' ride in the country and frolick amongst mother nature is set to a song by Deborah Harry and Michael Kamen sung by Bill Murray (seriously!) sounding hilariously similar to Tab Hunter: "One boy/One girl/Deeply and honestly/Our real life fantasy." Francine's children are now born again artists and she declares: "Oh, thank you God. Thank you for answering my prayers. We're a real family again. A normal American family." Soon, POLYESTER takes a huge twist that leads to a shocking conclusion that I wouldn't dare reveal.
John Waters has become a living legend thanks to his entertaining and creative films that have dared to break the rules and sometimes crossed into the mainstream. From his "indepedent" films (PINK FLAMINGOS, DESPERATE LIVING, and POLYESTER) to his recent "Hollywood" films (SERIAL MOM, PECKER, and the upcoming CECIL B. DEMENTED), Waters has joyfully embraced and satirized white trash America and his beloved hometown of Baltimore. In POLYESTER, he dares to tackle the abortion issue as a protester asks: "Suppose Einstein's mother had an abortion?" and Waters provides this memorable exchange between a mother and her son:
FRANCINE: I'm afraid your mom's an alcoholic.
DEXTER: Oh, mom. You can stop. I got off the the angel dust.
And Waters also pokes fun at his own vocation of choice with the following advertisement announced at a drive-in theatre in POLYESTER:
"Visit our concession stand. We feature boluga caviar, suculent oysters, and champagne. Take a tempting taste treat and ponder the intellectual meaning of cinema."
So "take a tempting taste treat" and enjoy POLYESTER, possible John Waters' greatest achievement.
The first film is Desperate Living. I must tell you I am a long-time Waters fan, and have seen all his film from Mondo Trasho on (including The Diane Linkletter Story), but sadly, this is my least favorite of his films. It's not necessarily bad (for a John Waters movie, that is); it just is not as funny or as happy as his other films. Neither Divine (who was unavailable) nor David Lockery (who was dead) appeared in Desperate Living, and Waters seemed lost without them. This movie is about a town called Mortville, where criminals are allowed to live instead of going to prison. Edith Massey, in her best film role, plays evil Queen Carlotta, who relishes in humiliating her subjects and having her sexual needs met by her "goons". Mink Stole is also in top form here, thanks to the meaty role of an hysterical housewife, who, together with her maid Grizelda, murder her husband and escape to Mortville. Another Waters regular, Mary Vivian Pearce, plays Princess Coo-Coo who, against Queen Carlotta's wishes, falls in love with the garbage collector at the Mortville nudist colony. There are also a female-to-male sex-change operation, a bowl of dog food used as a murder weapon, and female "glory holes" which must be seen to be believed.
Polyester, on the other hand, is a great film. Although Hairspray was Waters breakthrough to mainstream filmmaking, you can tell he was on his way with Polyester. Divine is back, this time playing a victimized housewife with a philandering husband and two dilinquent children. Her life is a complete mess until she meets suave, debonair, (and rich!) Todd Tomorrow, played by Tab Hunter, Waters' first "real" movie star. However, Todd may not be what he appears to be... In an homage to film director William Castle, who used gimmicks to promote his movies, Waters used a gimmick for Polyester: Odorama. Theatergoers were issued Odorama Cards upon entering the theater; each card had ten numbered scratch-and-sniff patches on one side. At certain points during the film, a number would flash on the screen, indicating that it was time to scratch and sniff. The DVD comes with one Odorama card, which is great, unless you want to have a movie party. However, vintage Odorama cards can usually be purchased reasonably on eBay. Just heed the film's warning: "Some things in life just plain stink!"
The commentary track for Polyester is Waters at his brilliant best--most of his audio commentaries are as funny or funnier than his films. The track for Desperate Living, on the other hand, is a disappointment. Waters shares the track with cast member Liz Renay, who has a tendancy to ramble on about things having nothing to do with the movie. You get the impression that each was allotted a set amount of time, and Waters, who's commentary is informative and entertaining is continuously curtailed by Miss Renay's incessant chatter. Waters' other "shared" commentary track is on the DVD of Hairspray. He is joined by Ricki Lake, and their give and take works great. For Desperate Living, Waters should have gone it alone.
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