50 of 51 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Porn Trap - A Superb Recovery Book, May 7, 2008
This review is from: The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography (Hardcover)
As someone who knows the ravages porn addiction can inflict on a person's life, and on the lives of others, I'm SO GRATEFUL this book has come along. At last there's a clear, compassionate, open-minded guide for people who identify themselves as having a porn problem, and for their intimate partners and families.
Step by step, this book helps you evaluate your own situation, understand how you or someone you love got into porn, and see your way clear to making changes if and when you're ready. There are questionnaires throughout to help you relate your own particular situation to what's being discussed.
I liked the book's everyday language and clear organization. It maps everything out for you and gives you a plan of action with many alternatives. That's very comforting when you're in distress and things are falling apart or could at any minute.
The authors interviewed real people as the basis for their research. These stories, often in the people's own words, helped me feel less alone. They ring true, and cover a wide range of situations and personalities. Both men and women can relate to this book, and so can people of any religion or those with a secular perspective.
I found the chapters on Partners in Pain and Healing as a Couple especially helpful. I think the authors really understand the dynamics of intimate relationships. They walk you through a multi-step approach for addressing these painful challenges. You realize you have a shot at healing your relationship. And I was glad to find chapters on preventing relapses and approaching sex in new ways, again with very specific suggestions.
I never got the impression that the authors were anti-sex or against all forms of erotica, and they certainly weren't shaming or blaming. What came through instead was simply a desire to help people who've become unhappily caught up in pornography. They give options for improving the quality of your life in ways of your own choosing. I've read a couple of other books by Wendy Maltz, including one on the joyful exploration of women's sexual fantasies, and she's by no means a prude. Her writings underscore the importance of sexual pleasure.
All in all, The Porn Trap helped me understand the nature of porn addiction and gave me hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, without one's family relationships and self-esteem being destroyed forever. It's a SUPERB RECOVERY BOOK and I highly recommend it.
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33 of 33 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Insightful, practical and non-threatening, February 14, 2009
This review is from: The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography (Hardcover)
Having read the reviews on several books covering this subject, I ultimately chose "The Porn Trap" as my first one to read. The (co-dependent no-more) wife of a 30+ year pornaholic in denial, I found the book insightful, and was able to relate to the content. This book offers more practical exercises and solidly researched advice than any other self-help book I have ever read (that would be quite a few as I'm always looking to understand human behavior and evolve myself.)
Unlike John William's post of three months ago, I found not a single reference to "Jesus" in this book. Spiritual/Religous leaders/counselors/pastors are referred to as good sources of support, right along with medical/pyschological/therapuetic and peer based support groups & systems. To me, this is not offensive. It makes the reader aware of all options available in selecting his/her choice of treatment. Surely, just as our sexual preferences are diverse, so are our levels of comfort among those who would administer to our care. Overall, I'm glad to have chosen this book first, and will myself seek out a local COSA or S-Anon for support -- something I'd not thought of before until reaching this sad point in time. I realize I can't make my spouse 'drink the water', so I guess I'll just have to wait and see what his respone is to my offer of this book, and demonstration of personal healing & growth through outside support. Next, I will consider "Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn and Fantasy Obsession in the Internet Age" by Weiss & Schneider. Wish me luck, please.
Thank you.
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22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Value of Intimacy-Based Sexual Expression, June 5, 2008
This review is from: The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography (Hardcover)
Thankfully, this book uses "everyday" examples of the problems and limitations that porn can create. So many other books on the topic use extreme situations which can interfere with readers being able to sort out what, if any, negative impact their use of porn has on their sexuality. In addition, most self-help books spend 90% of the book about the problem and relatively little about solutions. Over half of The Porn Trap addresses healing from harmful effects. Further, the authors consistently present a positive, healthy, intimacy-enhancing perspective of sexuality throughout the book.
Karla Baur,M.S.W.
private practice psychotherapist
Baur Clinical Associates
Co-author of Our Sexuality
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