Customer Reviews

The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography

5 star:		(19)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

As someone who knows the ravages porn addiction can inflict on a person's life, and on the lives of others, I'm SO GRATEFUL this book has come along. At last there's a clear, compassionate, open-minded guide for people who identify themselves as having a porn problem, and for their intimate partners and families.

Step by step, this book helps you evaluate your own situation, understand how you or someone you love got into porn, and see your way clear to making changes if and when you're ready. There are questionnaires throughout to help you relate your own particular situation to what's being discussed.

I liked the book's everyday language and clear organization. It maps everything out for you and gives you a plan of action with many alternatives. That's very comforting when you're in distress and things are falling apart or could at any minute.

The authors interviewed real people as the basis for their research. These stories, often in the people's own words, helped me feel less alone. They ring true, and cover a wide range of situations and personalities. Both men and women can relate to this book, and so can people of any religion or those with a secular perspective.

I found the chapters on Partners in Pain and Healing as a Couple especially helpful. I think the authors really understand the dynamics of intimate relationships. They walk you through a multi-step approach for addressing these painful challenges. You realize you have a shot at healing your relationship. And I was glad to find chapters on preventing relapses and approaching sex in new ways, again with very specific suggestions.

I never got the impression that the authors were anti-sex or against all forms of erotica, and they certainly weren't shaming or blaming. What came through instead was simply a desire to help people who've become unhappily caught up in pornography. They give options for improving the quality of your life in ways of your own choosing. I've read a couple of other books by Wendy Maltz, including one on the joyful exploration of women's sexual fantasies, and she's by no means a prude. Her writings underscore the importance of sexual pleasure.

All in all, The Porn Trap helped me understand the nature of porn addiction and gave me hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, without one's family relationships and self-esteem being destroyed forever. It's a SUPERB RECOVERY BOOK and I highly recommend it.

Having read the reviews on several books covering this subject, I ultimately chose "The Porn Trap" as my first one to read. The (co-dependent no-more) wife of a 30+ year pornaholic in denial, I found the book insightful, and was able to relate to the content. This book offers more practical exercises and solidly researched advice than any other self-help book I have ever read (that would be quite a few as I'm always looking to understand human behavior and evolve myself.)
Unlike John William's post of three months ago, I found not a single reference to "Jesus" in this book. Spiritual/Religous leaders/counselors/pastors are referred to as good sources of support, right along with medical/pyschological/therapuetic and peer based support groups & systems. To me, this is not offensive. It makes the reader aware of all options available in selecting his/her choice of treatment. Surely, just as our sexual preferences are diverse, so are our levels of comfort among those who would administer to our care. Overall, I'm glad to have chosen this book first, and will myself seek out a local COSA or S-Anon for support -- something I'd not thought of before until reaching this sad point in time. I realize I can't make my spouse 'drink the water', so I guess I'll just have to wait and see what his respone is to my offer of this book, and demonstration of personal healing & growth through outside support. Next, I will consider "Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn and Fantasy Obsession in the Internet Age" by Weiss & Schneider. Wish me luck, please.
Thank you.

Thankfully, this book uses "everyday" examples of the problems and limitations that porn can create. So many other books on the topic use extreme situations which can interfere with readers being able to sort out what, if any, negative impact their use of porn has on their sexuality. In addition, most self-help books spend 90% of the book about the problem and relatively little about solutions. Over half of The Porn Trap addresses healing from harmful effects. Further, the authors consistently present a positive, healthy, intimacy-enhancing perspective of sexuality throughout the book.
Karla Baur,M.S.W.
private practice psychotherapist
Baur Clinical Associates
Co-author of Our Sexuality

This book has helped me cope with the discovery of my husband's porn usage. It is not only great for the addict, but also great for the partner. It validated a lot of the emotions I was feeling, helping me to understand my own reaction, but also gave me insight into my husband's addiction. It explained a lot about the interactions in our marriage that I didn't even know were related to porn usage. If I had the knowledge in this book, I probably would have known before we even got married that he was addicted to porn just by watching his habits and attitude. Now it is helping me to have faith in my husband that he is no longer watching porn just by allowing me to understand what I should be watching for in our interactions and what types of warning signs I should be aware of if he begins to interact with porn again.

I bought several books about this topic trying to find one that would help me understand and cope. This book is the best one that I've read. If you only buy one book, buy this one.

As a provider of Sex Offender Treatment at a State Forensic Hospital for the Mentally Disabled, I have seen first hand the devastation that can be caused by the compulsive use of pornography in the lives of the individuals we serve. Wendy and Larry Maltz exhibit not only excellent insight, but solutions for one of the leading crises of our time.

They have created a road map for those who find either themselves or those they care for isolated and alone in a dark place as a result of the compulsive use of porn. Through stories and information, they give us what is necessary to successfully address these complexities.

A comprehensive solution to this issue must include an understanding of spirituality, intra/inter-personal dynamics, human development, and neurochemistry. They give hope for intimacy in trust filled relationships, and concrete steps to achieve this end. I am grateful for the human face that they have put on this issue. I will use their work as a resource in treating those I serve.

David L. Moeglein, MSW, ASW, LPT
Clinical Social Worker
Psychiatric Technician

As a psychologist and sex therapist, I found "The Porn Trap" to be a compassionate and sound book for clinicians and also for those individuals dealing with the consequences of excessive porn use. This book offers intelligent and healing counsel for anyone suffering with compulsive porn use, while also giving hope and guidance to the partner. When porn has become habitual and the individual has "hit bottom," this book provides strategies to understand, not pathologize, the destructive pattern. The treatment approaches by Wendy and Larry Maltz offer the reader hopeful, clear, and supportive guidance to reestablish intimacy and pleasure in a relationship. I highly recommend this book!

As a therapist and sexuality educator, I am always seeking good resources to recommend to clients and other therapists. The Porn Trap is one of the best resources available for helping those who have personal or relationship problems as a result of using pornography. The authors do clearly state this book is designed for people who find their pornography use problematic. Using non-shaming advice, Wendy and Larry Maltz offer a step-by-step approach to limit or stop the use of pornography when it has become a problem. More importantly, the authors provide a path for the reader to re-establish a positive sense of self and heal relationships. I would highly recommend this book to any person or partner trapped by the use of pornography.
M. Deborah Corley, PhD
Sante Center for Healing
Argyle, Texas

This book shows you how to put the brakes on when pornography use has become a runaway train. I'm so glad it's here. I really like how it's written. It mixes straight-talk, engaging stories, and even humor with therapeutic insights and self-help exercises. It helps you understand what's going on with today's porn and how it can affect people, and then provides a blue-print for anyone who wants to make some positive changes. I find many self-help books to be dry and boring, but each chapter of The Porn Trap was fascinating and kept me wanting to read more. I think the authors have made an outstanding contribution that is really needed at this time.

This is an excellent book for those individuals struggling with pornography where loss of control, failed attempts to stop as well as overall preferences for pornography over having actual sex with individuals.

Reading this book, I do not see it as pathologizing pornography for everyone. Instead it speaks to how it can become abused in terms of psychology and physiology and how to get out of the addictive cycle of using it.

There are those for whom pornography is healthy and useful to their sexual expression. This book is not for these individuals.

I highly recommend this book to those who struggle with compulsive pornography use and for those in relationship to those individuals.

The Porn Trap by Wendy Maltz & Larry Malz (hardcover) Harper-Collins 2008 was such a hard hitting insightful book, that I gave the original to a good friend, who needed the intense awareness of this books excellent coverage of the subject matter. I ordered a 2nd copy from Amazon.com for myself, as reference material, as I compare this book with some of Patrick Carne's excellent material from his books on sexual addiction...."Out of the Shadows" and "In the Shadows of the Net". My most favorite one is "The Porn Trap", and I may order a 3rd copy of "the Porn Trap" for another individual I am tryng to help (again) in a self-help program in my community. The copy sent to me thru Amazon.com was brand new, was flawless, and was shipped to me very fast!!!! Thank you for the fast, efficient and professional service!!!