Customer Reviews

Pornified: How Pornography Is Damaging Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families

5 star:		(26)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(9)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(11)

 

 

Ms. Paul feels that the debate about porn in the civic arena is stuck in the 1970s, oblivious to the rapidly deteriorating landscape around us. Most Americans now view pornography on a regular basis, and most of those viewers do not consider Playboy to be porn. Clearly something wild is afoot, something akin to a social earthquake or a drug epidemic.

Porn today is far more intense, far more accessible, far more violent, and, yes, far more chauvinistic than anything we've had before, and we as a society are in denial. Pornography is now cool, and nobody dares transgress almighty cool. Somehow porn has progressed from the domain of dark-sunglasses-and trenchcoat-wearing loners to movie stars and A-list entertainers. Today it is cool for the male mind to gorge on the objectification of women, and decidedly uncool for women to complain.

Paul's solution - "censure not censor" is a good one. For reasons from free speech to globalism in commerce, any large-scale prohibition of pornography is highly unlikely to have an impact on production or consumption. What is really needed, Paul argues, is good old-fashioned shame. As a culture we can regress in our crudeness. It has happened before.

For those who aren't into porn and don't want to be, this book is a helpful education. Paul manages to tell us what's really going on in porn without forcing us to walk hip-deep into the muck. She also makes it unblinkingly clear, both from important, documented studies and from porn watchers' own disclosures, that a steady diet of porn is indeed a slippery slope into worse and worse stuff. She provides the information needed to avoid getting sucked into the "it's just harmless fantasy" and free "speech" defenses while, at the same time, standing firmly against Puritanism and outright censorship as the only alternatives.

Paul also makes it painfully clear that the kind of porn so easily accessible via the Internet today is nothing like the old Playboy centerfolds (which could be characterized as Hugh Hefner's endlessly adolescent fantasies). Today's horrifically hardcore stuff is distorting in the worst possible way even to adults but even more so to pre-teens and young teens just learning about sexuality. Saying that porn is an inevitable guy thing is like saying men truly believe they are helpless in the face of pornifed images, have no say in their fantasies or in what turns them on, that porn is the only way they know how to deal with repression and silence about sex, that what they learned at age 13 is good enough for the rest of their lives, or that they are incapable of distinguishing between the "forbidden" and their own internal standards.

Even remaining totally within the realm of fantasy, it is perfectly legitimate to ask of porn advocates (ourselves or others), why would you even *want* to be turned on--even in fantasy--by the kinds of things porn purveyors produce? In the end, porn says virtually nothing about sexuality or the paid players. It says a whole lot, however, about the purveyors who for whatever reasons--some possibly even tragic--learned to associate and condition their own erotic feelings with degrading acts. And this association appears to be the monument to "speech" they wish to pass on to future generations.

There are, of course, many additional aspects that are and could be discussed, and Paul's main points are that we need to stop putting our heads in the sand about the very real and negative effects this cynical and sometimes life-threatening activity is having on our lives and those of our children, that there are alternatives to the proliferation of this stuff, and that there are things we can do to bring about those alternatives.

This book is worth purchasing and reading or at the very least leafing through at the library.

The author does an interesting job of presenting controversial material. Today if you're not supportive of the Porn Industrial Complex, somehow you're either a puritan or another woman with an axe to grind!

Paul is on to something with this well-read (read not another dry academic polemic) and so-so researched book. I don't think her "study" meets the requirements of an acceptable social science inquiry, but that is another issue.

The quotes and observations from people who view porn are the most telling and allow her to make her point easily.

An amazing book-- great whether you're a moralist or a liberal. Porn in America has become 'trendy' why is this good and why is it outrageously BAD? Read this book and you'll understand both sides of the street. The author is wise -- she is a a contributor to TIME magazine and has written several books on marriage so her background seems quite mid-stream. Why do men look at Porn -- Oprah says the stats are outrageous 40-50 percent look at it. The author clarifies the stats and explains the why. Historical look at porn in her second chapter of Life in the Porn Lane, Chapter 3 looks at her own views of Porn so you know where she stands. Chapter 4 -- Porn Stars, Lovers and Wives-- how women see/view porn. Does it really debase women? Or can a porn star be powerful? How porn changes relationships between men and women. Kids in a Pornified Culture-- crucial chapter for every parent and teacher. Kids WILL SEE PORN online or on TV or on Video -- YES THEY WILL no matter how you protect them. What is the impact. Why is there a porn compulsion -- why is a minister picked up for porn, why is a congressman caught viewing online porn. What is the truth about porn today. Should we censure or censor -- is there a solution? Porn has become so camp in our culture today. Actors and Actresses get famous for their porn tapes. Why is this so? What can you do to protect your kids, husband and self from porn invading your lives even more? If you're on the other side-- you should know how people want to censor porn and WHY -- the why is fascinating. Porn won't go away -- it's an age-old profession and a great part of our underground economy. So you better read this book and not just watch the sensational reports on TV.

After seeing Paul on C-Span, along with the president of the ACLU and some other authors, I knew I had to get this book. It's about time a serious journalist (and not someone with an agenda or an axe to grind) decided to examine the issue of pornography in society today. Not only is Paul's research incredibly thorough -- she had the Harris Poll do a nationwide survey and interviewed dozens of people froma wide range of backgrounds -- but she approached the subject in such a rational, methodogical way. (Which is amazing, given the insanity of some of what the people she interviews say). She not only interviewed men and women with a vast array of experiences -- both users and nonusers, fans and the disinterested, casual users and compulsive users -- but she got a diverse group in terms of background. It was nice to see an author who bothers talking to people other than just upper middle class white folks.

The most impressive thing about this book was its objectivity in the face of a subject that gets people riled up beyond reason. Unlike some fanatical people on the far right and the far left, Paul sticks to the facts and leaves her political view (which is hard to discern) out of it. How refreshing! I'm sick of polemics masquerading as serious sociological works.

My only wish is that she had written more about the impact of pornography on families and children. She only devotes one chapter to the subject, and while it is riveting and upsetting, it begged for more. I understand that the author wanted to beyond the usual "What about the children?" argument, but I still think it's a crucial issue and could have used another 30 pages or so on the subject.

Overall, however, this is a much needed book and one that I would recommend to anyone, no matter what their opinion on porn is. I wouldn't be surprised if this were the book that finally opened the eyes of knee-jerk pro-pornography people who refuse to listen to any evidence that might shake their world view. Certainly, if someone I know starts nattering the same-old same-old rationalizations of porn, I'm going to buy them a copy of this book. It could only do them good.

The authors has selected skewed and unscientific data. She frequently shows her misunderstanding of human nature in general and men in particular. Like when she castigates men for using fantasy or when she suggests that all erotica leads to progressive degradation or violence. However the main idea of the book is undeniable. Porn is too accessable and too many men are spending too much time in unproductive activivities that appeal to man's lower nature.

Although the remedies she suggests such as regulating internet usage with a credit card have some validity, she clearly does not know what will help. She has does a service to society by bringing this important issue to light. It will only get worse if we ignore it and it can lead us nowhere but downword.

This was such a worthwhile read and so worthy of a wider readership that I've been telling everyone I know about it -- guys I've dated, friends, family members -- even colleagues (and I don't usually recommend books about porn to people at work!) But I think it's important that people are aware of this issue, and take the time to read the book.

While I've read some nice reviews of Pornified, I've also read some incredibly hostile ones that completely distort what Paul writes in her book. It's frustrating, particularly given how hard she tries (and succeeds, in my opinion), to find common ground on such a controversial, politicized issue. I wish more books about "hot button" issues would take such a smart, well-researched and balanced approach -- I think we would all find a lot more to agree on in today's polarized political environment.

The best part of this book, however, isn't even Paul's writing (though she does write in lucid, straightforward prose): It's the MEN. I know that for me, and for my girlfriends who read the book, these interviews were like listening in to guy talk in the all-male locker room -- this is stuff that guys would NEVER tell a woman. But I also think other men would find it fascinating to read about these men who spoke so openly and honestly about pornography. I doubt many men have given it that much thought, and I think they might be surprised to find themselves agreeing with some of the negative aspects of porn -- things that even huge porn fans pointed out to Paul.

Some of the stories, were, of course, horrifying. But what struck me, even more so than the men who became addicted to porn, were the stories from the so-called "normal guys" -- guys just like men I've dated. I don't think most women have a clue what and how these men really think about sex, and at least for me, this is the first book that gave a believable portrait.

While the book is shocking and upsetting in parts, I think it's important for people to overcome their fears and prejudices, and to read what Paul (and the guys she interviews) have to say. It may not be something we all want to hear, but I think it's something we all need to know.

Most people have a gut level opinion about pornography. Mine is the same as Pamela Paul, pornography "Damages our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families." I was excited to pick up a book that I hoped would offer some strong evidence toward confirming my suspicions. Disappointment ensues.

Here is how "Pornified" is structured: cite three of four examples from personal interviews about the effects of porn, make a broad statement about the effects of porn in general, then move on to the next set of personal interview examples, ad nauseum.

Although the anecdotes were helpful in deglamorizing porn (often stories of men who seemed pretty loser like), they were often redundant and had me begging for something more concrete. As I look back through the book, I realize that I underlined nearly every statistical figure given. Disappointingly, these statistics were few and far between and were often heavily qualified by phrases like "this was not a national representative sample."

One positive thing is the rawness of some of the descriptions. For the naive reader, this book is a good introduction to the underbelly of the industry. Pornography includes more than the glitzy images from "The Girls Next Door" and Paul does a good job introducing the reader to things like beastiality, child pornography, and a host of other weird stuff.

In all, if you agreed with Paul before reading the book, you'll probably enjoy reading it. If you are a fan of pornography, you will find plenty of holes in Paul's arguments and will find very little concrete evidence toward proving the author's main contention that pornography damages our lives, relationships, and families.

Everyone has been talking about how much porn has gone mainstream, but nobody has seriously looked at how this affects people. Having read this book (in 2 days), I know I definitely need to ask my husband if he looks at porn. (Though I'm still working up my courage to ask him.) It's really scary what it does to people! I have lots of friends whose husbands look at porn, and a couple that I know go to strip clubs on a fairly regular basis. This book just makes you wonder if all these men are aware of how damaging porn can be. Most of my friends are also scared to confront their husbands, but I think this book shows why it's necessary for couples to talk about porn -- not just joke around about it. PORNIFIED makes you realize that this is just not a subject to laugh about -- no matter what the media tells us.

Pamela Paul's style in this book will be familiar to those who read her book "The Starter Marriage" a few years ago. She surveys the literature, speaks with academic researchers, and then interviews hundreds of people about their experiences with pornography. This book goes one further than in "The Starter Marriage," in that Paul commissions her own study by Harris Interactive on some of the questions raised in her research.

The two most compelling chapters of the book discuss how pornography effects those who use it, and children growing up in a "pornified" world. I find myself returning to her discussion of the scientific studies of pornography that were completed in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Even brief exposure had such profound effects on the thoughts and behavior of the people who volunteered that it has killed follow-up studies for decades. Researchers have not been able to get research proposals past ethics boards instituted to prevent the abuse of human subjects.

As with "The Starter Marriage," this book relies heavily on interviews. These are fascinating just as car crashes are fascinating, and some are also funny or sad. I don't think I can give details here without triggering some kind of Amazon.com dirty-words alert, but any reader will wonder as I do -- where does she find people willing to talk about these things?

Paul concludes that the current debate about pornography in the U.S. has been captured by civil libertarians, and marketing executives, and religious fanatics, and the issue of how porn changes people and hurts those around them is never raised. She suggests legal and social changes, but I sense she views her most important goal to be returning this "porno-harm" to our discussions of the subject.