Yo mama sucks.
For years, everyone has talked about yo mama, pointing out her failings in important areas such as appearance, mental capacity, and weight. Now, two researchers and retired sewer cartographers have spent over a decade investigating yo mama, assembling a wide range of evidence against her. They stalked, photographed, and studied the horrible woman who brought you into this world—yo mama—then compiled their findings.
The result is A PORTRAIT OF YO MAMA AS A YOUNG MAN. This unprecedented exposé proves once and for all that the woman who is arguably dearest to you in life—yo mama—is stupid, crazy, a failure, physically unattractive, deceitful, a bad mother to you, unthinkably overweight, and worthy of only ridicule and disdain. To make this case, the authors present you with graphs, field notes, charts, Mad Libs, and various primary source documents. Crying, you’ll learn what you never wanted to know from a text that is readable, contemptuous, and factual.
Here is some of the evidence you will find in A PORTRAIT OF YO MAMA AS A YOUNG MAN: yo mama’s résumé, her last will and testament, her internet searches, personals she has placed, e-mails yo mama wrote to you while you were in college, and numerous charts and graphs. From this thorough and authoritative work you will learn facts such as:
• Yo mama says “comprised” when she means “composed,” as in, “I am comprised mostly of grease and sugar.”
• Yo mama’s so lupine, she chases rabbits.
• I had sex with yo mama and it was horrible. Just a horrible, horrible time.
• Yo mama got two wishes from a genie.
• If nervous tics were pizzas, yo mama would have five pizzas that freak everybody out.
• And the opinions of a variety of observers, including a taxi driver (“Yo mama’s so stupid, she doesn’t know how to get to 4653 Greenwood Terrace”) and Nietzsche (“God is dead. Yo mama is just really decrepit-looking.”)
Drawing on a substantial research budget and the strong stomachs they acquired from working in America’s sewers, Andrew Barlow and Kent Roberts got closer to yo mama than anyone else ever has. They even experienced the infamous battle between yo mama's head lice and body lice of 1992. All in all, you will not find a better biography of yo mama. Authored by two of the funniest twentysomethings writing today, this absurdist take on the oldest joke in the book—the “yo mama” snap—is warped, witty, ironic, and, frankly, sad in places.
For years, everyone has talked about yo mama, pointing out her failings in important areas such as appearance, mental capacity, and weight. Now, two researchers and retired sewer cartographers have spent over a decade investigating yo mama, assembling a wide range of evidence against her. They stalked, photographed, and studied the horrible woman who brought you into this world—yo mama—then compiled their findings.
The result is A PORTRAIT OF YO MAMA AS A YOUNG MAN. This unprecedented exposé proves once and for all that the woman who is arguably dearest to you in life—yo mama—is stupid, crazy, a failure, physically unattractive, deceitful, a bad mother to you, unthinkably overweight, and worthy of only ridicule and disdain. To make this case, the authors present you with graphs, field notes, charts, Mad Libs, and various primary source documents. Crying, you’ll learn what you never wanted to know from a text that is readable, contemptuous, and factual.
Here is some of the evidence you will find in A PORTRAIT OF YO MAMA AS A YOUNG MAN: yo mama’s résumé, her last will and testament, her internet searches, personals she has placed, e-mails yo mama wrote to you while you were in college, and numerous charts and graphs. From this thorough and authoritative work you will learn facts such as:
• Yo mama says “comprised” when she means “composed,” as in, “I am comprised mostly of grease and sugar.”
• Yo mama’s so lupine, she chases rabbits.
• I had sex with yo mama and it was horrible. Just a horrible, horrible time.
• Yo mama got two wishes from a genie.
• If nervous tics were pizzas, yo mama would have five pizzas that freak everybody out.
• And the opinions of a variety of observers, including a taxi driver (“Yo mama’s so stupid, she doesn’t know how to get to 4653 Greenwood Terrace”) and Nietzsche (“God is dead. Yo mama is just really decrepit-looking.”)
Drawing on a substantial research budget and the strong stomachs they acquired from working in America’s sewers, Andrew Barlow and Kent Roberts got closer to yo mama than anyone else ever has. They even experienced the infamous battle between yo mama's head lice and body lice of 1992. All in all, you will not find a better biography of yo mama. Authored by two of the funniest twentysomethings writing today, this absurdist take on the oldest joke in the book—the “yo mama” snap—is warped, witty, ironic, and, frankly, sad in places.
