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Positive Discipline Paperback

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Positive Discipline + How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk + The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 384 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books; Rev Upd edition (May 30, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0345487672
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345487674
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (92 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,282 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews


It is not easy to improve a classic book, but Jane Nelson has done so in this revised edition. Packed with updated examples that are clear and specific, Positive Discipline shows parents exactly how to focus on solutions while being kind and firm. If you want to enrich your relationship with your children, this is the book for you. --Sal Severe, author of How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too! --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

From the Publisher

POSITIVE DISCIPLINE is one of our most beloved parenting titles. And the reason is very simple. Author Jane Nelsen's program works. I've used the book on my preschooler with great success. Not only does my little girl listen better, but she and I also seem to have a better relationship now. As a working mom, I hated coming home and having to yell at my child in those precious two hours a day we had together. Now we make the most of our time and we both look forward to it.

Elisa Wares, Senior Editor --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

I like it because what it preaches feels right to me.
Ali M Demirkol
This book helped me to understand people, and gives guidance how to understand my child as well why and how to parent and the effects of my decisions.
J. D. Chase
If you don't believe me, do what I did, check the book out at the library, if you like it, then buy your own copy to have on hand.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

79 of 80 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 7, 1999
Format: Paperback
If you are a parent, this book should definitely be on your list of MUST-READs. The idea focuses on respect, letting kids have control over some of their decisions, letting them experience the consequences -- both good and bad -- and reducing conflict in your home. The book helped me see the problems in some of the traditional methods of "discipline" I had been using, and it changed my approach for dealing with two-year old son and our interactions. The book includes concrete examples and focus areas for positive discipline, and explores the long range goals for raising our kids (like what kind of people we want them to be in the end). Since I've started putting the positive discipline principles into practice, I've seen an incredible difference in myself and my son. I started asking for his help, and now he is doing all sorts of things for himself -- getting dressed, helping carry in groceries, and willingly climbing into his car seat (if you can belive it)!! He's so excited to be making contributions to our family on his own, and I'm enjoying him so much without so many tantrums. I've been teaching him about respect -- it sounds so silly, but he seems to understand that it's about treating each other like we like each other. Of course, it isn't the end of every conflict and we still have problems and short tempers sometimes, but it is over so much faster and with fewer hurt feelings on all sides. We're finding a nice balance -- not permissive, not authoritarian -- just respectful and fair. Even if you don't accept the premise of the book, I think it will challenge you to evaluate your own parenting methods.Read more ›
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46 of 47 people found the following review helpful By Kelly E. Nault on February 7, 2005
Format: Paperback
As a parenting author who only recommends the best of the best when it comes to parenting books, I was shocked to read some of the reviews which suggested that Jane's approach is both demoralizing to parents and simply does not work.

Before writing my own book, Jane's work was one of the three books I used with two blind boys who would have given Helen Keller a run for her money and helped me to not only maintain my sanity (and not go off the deep end) but also raise boys I am proud of.

Hands down parenting is the most difficult job on earth and I believe that Jane would agree. As a family counselor who uses a "feel good method of parenting" similar to Jane's I KNOW that this material works I have seen it work for thousands of parents. I also know that it takes time, consistency and sometimes even support from others. I am saddened to think that some of her material has fallen on deaf ears and some parents have even resorted to fear tactics. Why am I saddened? Because although punishments such as these can work in the short term I have seen first hand the negative effects that happen over time and know that there is a much better way.

Perhaps, because this book was originally written in the 80's and Jane doesn't spend a lot of time in this book emphasizing the importance a parent's own self-care that some readers have misinterpreted this to mean Jane doesn't care about parents. Nothing could be further from the truth though.

Jane's practical use of stories and the way in which she shares some of her own mistakes are nothing short of inspiring.
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48 of 54 people found the following review helpful By Mandy D. on May 3, 2000
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book helped me see discipline in a whole new way. It's true, children don't have to suffer in order to learn they have done something wrong. We need to have respect for the little ones just as much as anyone else, and that's sometimes hard to remember when you are angry. "Positive discipline" explains this concept well. The only problem is if you have very young kids, this book doesn't help much in terms of specific examples. Most of the examples are about children 5 and up. I would imagine "Positive Discipline for Preschoolers" would serve my situation better. I am buying that next and will write a review for it shortly......
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36 of 42 people found the following review helpful By Ms Diva on March 11, 2001
Format: Paperback
This is one of the best, most useful parenting books I have ever read. I am a child and youth care worker and I use these concepts with the kids I work with. I've taught them to parents who are really struggling and they've seen major improvements in their relationships with their kids, as well as the kid's overall behaviour. The book focuses on how to interact with your kids in a way that emphasizes firmness merged with kindness. It shows you have to treat your kids with respect, give them choices and a degree of control, the meaning of consequences, and manage conflict. The truth is punishing kids does NOT work, and discipline and punishment are NOT synonymous.
I really liked the concrete examples in the book. I wish that the author had spent more time on how to determine your child's mistaken goal, and she had addressed more clearly how exactly to find the time for family meetings and the like when you are a family with two working parents. I also appreciate that she teaches parents to think long term. I have to admit that the ideas in the book may seem simplistic at first read. You have to remember (and Nelsen stresses this repeatedly) that changes won't occur overnight. But if you stick with it you will see a difference. I would reccommend reading it once, trying to apply it for 3-4 weeks, and then reading it again. It is written in a conversational style, so it is a quick read. I got through it the first time in a weekend. I refer to in frequently to remind myself of certain ideas.
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