Positive Discipline (Revised) [Paperback]

Jane Nelsen Ed.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 9, 1996

THE KEY TO DISCIPLINE IS NOT PUNISHMENT,
BUT MUTUAL RESPECT
All parents try to do their best--but the best of intentions don't always produce the best results. Dr. Jane Nelsen, an experienced psychologist, educator, and mother, believes that children misbehave when they feel thwarted in their need to belong and in their need for love and attention. An authoritative approach, using phrases like "Because I said so!", will only lead to rebellious behavior. Instead, parents need basic principles that bring them and their children closer. They need Positive Discipline.
Dr. Nelsen explains that parents who use kindness and firmness to teach life skills will encourage self-respect, self-discipline, cooperation, good behavior, and problem-solving skills in their children. In Positive Discipline, revised and updated for the '90s, she shows all of us, parents and teachers alike, exactly how her practical program works--answering, step-by-step, such important questions as:
*What works better than punishment to teach children positive, good behavior?
*What mistakes do most parents make "in the name of love"?
*How can parents turn their mistakes into assets?
*How can praise be dangerous?
*What are the dangers of trying to be "Super Mom"?
*How can teachers avoid discipline problems in the classroom?
"It is positive! It works! It saves your sanity! And it is easy to share with others."
--Julie Pope, Parent
Sacramento, CA
"As a parent and psychotherapist, I have found enormous value and practical wisdom in Positive Discipline. It conveys a win/win atmosphere for parents and children. The techniques are so easy to learn and fun to use...Anyone following these concepts will see almost instant results and big smiles on the faces of their children."
--Katherine Dusay, Psychotherapist
San Francisco, CA

Editorial Reviews

Review

It is not easy to improve a classic book, but Jane Nelson has done so in this revised edition. Packed with updated examples that are clear and specific, Positive Discipline shows parents exactly how to focus on solutions while being kind and firm. If you want to enrich your relationship with your children, this is the book for you. --Sal Severe, author of How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too! --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Publisher

POSITIVE DISCIPLINE is one of our most beloved parenting titles. And the reason is very simple. Author Jane Nelsen's program works. I've used the book on my preschooler with great success. Not only does my little girl listen better, but she and I also seem to have a better relationship now. As a working mom, I hated coming home and having to yell at my child in those precious two hours a day we had together. Now we make the most of our time and we both look forward to it.

Elisa Wares, Senior Editor

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; Rev Sub edition (April 9, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345402510
• ISBN-13: 978-0345402516
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.1 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (55 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #739,982 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

56 of 56 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The most incredibly insightful book on parenting I've found!, February 7, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Positive Discipline (Revised) (Paperback)

If you are a parent, this book should definitely be on your list of MUST-READs. The idea focuses on respect, letting kids have control over some of their decisions, letting them experience the consequences -- both good and bad -- and reducing conflict in your home. The book helped me see the problems in some of the traditional methods of "discipline" I had been using, and it changed my approach for dealing with two-year old son and our interactions. The book includes concrete examples and focus areas for positive discipline, and explores the long range goals for raising our kids (like what kind of people we want them to be in the end). Since I've started putting the positive discipline principles into practice, I've seen an incredible difference in myself and my son. I started asking for his help, and now he is doing all sorts of things for himself -- getting dressed, helping carry in groceries, and willingly climbing into his car seat (if you can belive it)!! He's so excited to be making contributions to our family on his own, and I'm enjoying him so much without so many tantrums. I've been teaching him about respect -- it sounds so silly, but he seems to understand that it's about treating each other like we like each other. Of course, it isn't the end of every conflict and we still have problems and short tempers sometimes, but it is over so much faster and with fewer hurt feelings on all sides. We're finding a nice balance -- not permissive, not authoritarian -- just respectful and fair. Even if you don't accept the premise of the book, I think it will challenge you to evaluate your own parenting methods. Be forewarned though -- it may seem a little unusual if you just skim through the book, because some of the ideas are unconventional or contrary to what we've been "taught" (like letting kids play during a time out session), but I belive it really makes sense in the end and I encourage you to read the whole thing. I STRONGLY RECOMMEND it to parents who want to reduce the conflict in their house, raise kids with a positive sense of self, and really truly find enjoyment in children.

31 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Works Flawlessly When Used With Commitment and Consistency, February 7, 2005

By 

Kelly E. Nault "Author of 'When You're About ... - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Positive Discipline (Revised) (Paperback)

As a parenting author who only recommends the best of the best when it comes to parenting books, I was shocked to read some of the reviews which suggested that Jane's approach is both demoralizing to parents and simply does not work.

Before writing my own book, Jane's work was one of the three books I used with two blind boys who would have given Helen Keller a run for her money and helped me to not only maintain my sanity (and not go off the deep end) but also raise boys I am proud of.

Hands down parenting is the most difficult job on earth and I believe that Jane would agree. As a family counselor who uses a "feel good method of parenting" similar to Jane's I KNOW that this material works I have seen it work for thousands of parents. I also know that it takes time, consistency and sometimes even support from others. I am saddened to think that some of her material has fallen on deaf ears and some parents have even resorted to fear tactics. Why am I saddened? Because although punishments such as these can work in the short term I have seen first hand the negative effects that happen over time and know that there is a much better way.

Perhaps, because this book was originally written in the 80's and Jane doesn't spend a lot of time in this book emphasizing the importance a parent's own self-care that some readers have misinterpreted this to mean Jane doesn't care about parents. Nothing could be further from the truth though.

Jane's practical use of stories and the way in which she shares some of her own mistakes are nothing short of inspiring.

30 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Respect for the little ones, May 3, 2000

By 

Mandy D. (Vienna, VA) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Positive Discipline (Revised) (Paperback)

This book helped me see discipline in a whole new way. It's true, children don't have to suffer in order to learn they have done something wrong. We need to have respect for the little ones just as much as anyone else, and that's sometimes hard to remember when you are angry. "Positive discipline" explains this concept well. The only problem is if you have very young kids, this book doesn't help much in terms of specific examples. Most of the examples are about children 5 and up. I would imagine "Positive Discipline for Preschoolers" would serve my situation better. I am buying that next and will write a review for it shortly......