Positive Solitude: A Practical Program for Mastering Loneliness and Achieving Self-Fulfillment [Paperback]

Rae Andre (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1992

A noted psychologist explains how to find joy in spending time alone in a society where so much emphasis is placed on "finding someone." For the newly alone, as well as those who have long enjoyed solitude, this clear, practical guide shows how to achieve self-fulfillment, an appreciation of individuality, and self-esteem.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

"Aloneness" conjures up feelings of fear and rejection, and most self-help material which deals with it counsels joining a group, finding a new hobby, or traveling. Andre ( Homemakers , LJ 4/1/81) has decided that societal attitudes can change by redefining "alone" in a more positive manner. When alone, a "feedback gap" occurs, she feels, meaning there is no one with whom to talk or socialize. The basic problem lies in attempting to fill this gap in meaningful ways that can prevent loneliness. She discusses six loneliness traps and offers solutions to them. Emerson, Thoreau, Maslow, and May Sarton are called upon to define the meaning of solitude. Contemplative therapies including logotherapy and Japanese techniques are discussed, making this appropriate for public as well as academic libraries.
- Lisa Wise, Steele Memorial Lib., Elmira, N . Y .
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Dr. Rae André is Professor of Organizational Behavior at Northeastern University in Boston. She is co-author of the bestselling The 59-Second Employee: How to Stay One Second Ahead of Your One-Minute Manager and author of Homemakers, the Forgotten Workers, among other books. Her work on solitude has been featured in Prevention and New Woman magazines and the British documentary Single Life. --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Perennial (April 1992)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060922567
• ISBN-13: 978-0060922566
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,212,918 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

47 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Be careful, September 3, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Positive Solitude : A Practical Program for Mastering Loneliness and Achieving Self-Fulfillment (Paperback)

I would recommend this book only for a very specific reader - someone who is newly divorced and has never lived other than as a couple. For that person I would probably give it 5 stars. For anyone else, including those people who like me live alone (not lonely) quite successfully but sometimes just get tired of it, STAY AWAY! The author sees solitude as the one and only end to a life alone, almost to the point where it seemed to me she was discouraging someone from starting new relationships. I think if you are someone who has always been coupled and does not know how to look at life in any other way you might need this kind of backlash, at least in the initial phases, but it only made me more depressed than I already was (which was not much. but after reading it, I was quite a bit.) I'd hoped this book would be a positive affirmation of a situation a lot of people find themselves in even if it is not a conscious choice, but instead it was a "how-to" book on making that life a conscious (and permanent) choice.

19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A modern classic on self-realisation, September 7, 2008

By 

Baz (Manchester, England) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Positive Solitude : A Practical Program for Mastering Loneliness and Achieving Self-Fulfillment (Paperback)

I'm compelled to write this review to contradict the reviewer who thinks the author sees solitude as "the one and only end to a life alone", (I suspect the reviewer meant the one and only end is a life alone) and "discouraging someone from starting new relationships." Both these criticisms are so far from what this book is about as to be laughable.

I agree instead with the reviewer who noted that this book is a masterpiece. It is definitely not a book about coping with loneliness. It is a beautifully and compassionately written corrective to the unexamined dogmas of a modern society that believes the only path to personal meaning and happiness lies only in relationship. Positive Solitude is about understanding the other side of the coin, and takes a hard look at personal freedom, examines the trap of social metaphysics (the 'what the majority believes and does must be true' fallacy), and advocates the power of choice, personal responsibility and finding one's own meaning. In short, it's a book about really growing up instead of just growing old.

Positive Solitude is at the other end of the spiritual and intellectual spectrum from popular claptrap such as 'The Secret', 'Seven Habits of Highly Effective People' or 'How To Win Friends and Influence People' and shares the same space on my bookshelves along with the likes of Thoreau, Emerson, Montaigne and Nathaniel Branden. However, I should stress that, above all, as the sub-title suggests, it's rooted firmly in the here and now and is a supremely practical guide to living a fulfilled life alone, if that is your choice.

This is a gem, a one of a kind book written by a self-realised author. If you're willing to look and do the necessary work, it will help you find your own independent path and thereby discover your uniqueness.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book is a "must read" for singles., March 7, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Positive Solitude: A Practical Program for Mastering Loneliness and Achieving Self-Fulfillment (Paperback)

This book was a tremondous help to me when I was divorced. It helped me focus on what is really important - which is different then the message we receive from society-at-large. I was positively jubilant after reading it. Bring it back into print!!!