Customer Reviews

Positive Solitude: A Practical Program for Mastering Loneliness and Achieving Self-Fulfillment

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I would recommend this book only for a very specific reader - someone who is newly divorced and has never lived other than as a couple. For that person I would probably give it 5 stars. For anyone else, including those people who like me live alone (not lonely) quite successfully but sometimes just get tired of it, STAY AWAY! The author sees solitude as the one and only end to a life alone, almost to the point where it seemed to me she was discouraging someone from starting new relationships. I think if you are someone who has always been coupled and does not know how to look at life in any other way you might need this kind of backlash, at least in the initial phases, but it only made me more depressed than I already was (which was not much. but after reading it, I was quite a bit.) I'd hoped this book would be a positive affirmation of a situation a lot of people find themselves in even if it is not a conscious choice, but instead it was a "how-to" book on making that life a conscious (and permanent) choice.

I'm compelled to write this review to contradict the reviewer who thinks the author sees solitude as "the one and only end to a life alone", (I suspect the reviewer meant the one and only end is a life alone) and "discouraging someone from starting new relationships." Both these criticisms are so far from what this book is about as to be laughable.

I agree instead with the reviewer who noted that this book is a masterpiece. It is definitely not a book about coping with loneliness. It is a beautifully and compassionately written corrective to the unexamined dogmas of a modern society that believes the only path to personal meaning and happiness lies only in relationship. Positive Solitude is about understanding the other side of the coin, and takes a hard look at personal freedom, examines the trap of social metaphysics (the 'what the majority believes and does must be true' fallacy), and advocates the power of choice, personal responsibility and finding one's own meaning. In short, it's a book about really growing up instead of just growing old.

Positive Solitude is at the other end of the spiritual and intellectual spectrum from popular claptrap such as 'The Secret', 'Seven Habits of Highly Effective People' or 'How To Win Friends and Influence People' and shares the same space on my bookshelves along with the likes of Thoreau, Emerson, Montaigne and Nathaniel Branden. However, I should stress that, above all, as the sub-title suggests, it's rooted firmly in the here and now and is a supremely practical guide to living a fulfilled life alone, if that is your choice.

This is a gem, a one of a kind book written by a self-realised author. If you're willing to look and do the necessary work, it will help you find your own independent path and thereby discover your uniqueness.

This book was a tremondous help to me when I was divorced. It helped me focus on what is really important - which is different then the message we receive from society-at-large. I was positively jubilant after reading it. Bring it back into print!!!

This book is a masterpiece. If you are confronted with solitude, this book will help you embrace it. It covers different aspects of solitude (vs. loneliness), such as decision-making, sensuality, celebrations, psychotherapy. It helps you view your solitude without shame.

This book is downright heretical. That's probably why it's out of print now (a paperback edition is *supposedly* imminent). It not only challenges almost everything we've been told about loneliness and couplehood (like that if you don't have the latter you'll surely have the former) but it lays out a plan for not just surviving but flourishing by oneself, without lapsing into cloying me-ism as self-help books have a habit of doing. Highly recommended (Get this book back in print!!).

I purchased this book for a friend who had just lost a long time love, and she realized that she is living in a remote location where she has no real emotional support - no family, no real friends within hours, etc. My friend is a clinical therapist, and she couldn't believe she was having such a difficult time of it. She said the book was very helpful but that the reader must take it one step at a time. She said it is not something to be taken lightly or too quickly. Having not read the book myself, her response actually made me quite glad I decided to send it to her. However, if you are looking for a quick fix, this might not be the book for you. If you are willing to look deep into yourself and work on realizing your ability to be an individual without the need to rely on others for your well-being, then this is highly recommended. Hope this helps.

Excellent book for anyone facing being alone either through divorce or a death or if you are just trying to know the best about you.

To the point: yes it's difficult being alone, but there's more to it than you have thought about. If you have any doubts about solitude please read this book.

I fell hopelessly in love w/the idea of a woman who loves solitude as much as I do.Such a rare,rare creature and very thoughtful of her subject.I suggested that the author start a magazine for people who love solitude,her ideas are just that crisp.Her conviction of the subject does surpass my own.Coupled solitude(which would also make a great magazine)might be more my speed.

A rare piece of work.Would love to exchange ideas on the subject w/other readers.Please feel free to E-Mail me.