Customer Reviews

The Power of Empathy : A Practical Guide to Creating Intimacy, Self-Understanding and Lasting Love

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The Power of Empathy is a marvelous and comforting book about a topic that many people experience on a day-to-day basis, yet unaware that they are doing so. In others, empathy is an aspect of human nature that actually needs to be developed, whether from scratch or through enhancement. Whichever category you belong to, Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli's book will help bring you to a point of understanding the concept of empathy, which, in turn will help you help yourself and others. I found myself constantly nodding my head as I read, reacting to stories and explanations in the book of things that I seemingly experienced in my own life in one way or another. It is fascinating to see how empathy is an ongoing part of our lives, yet most of us remain non-cognizant to it, however satisfied that a result was achieved. But it is important to comprehend the means for reaching our goals of understanding, feeling, and sympathizing. The Power of Empathy is the benchmark tool for guiding one in accomplishing this. Dr. Ciaramicoli's personal love, understanding, and empathy are poured out in these pages, as he sensitively yet passionately supplies the readers with the wisdom and knowledge needed for developing love, understanding, and empathy for ourselves and others.

I have been looking for a relationship book that is easy to read with unique insights that can easily be put into practice. This book is it! Far above any other relationship book on the market. I couldn't put it down once I started reading. Dr. Ciaramicoli has a sure hit!

Would you like to deepen and improve your relationships with others? Are you unable to unravel important failed relationships? Do you want to understand how you can and why you should? Dr. Ciaramacoli's Power of Empathy provides these answers, in a deeply personal and straight-foward way. He cearly presents how we can all live better lives. Wisdom is presented here as it was in Tuesdays With Morrie. Great work!

This book vividly explains how empathy can have a profound effect on your relationships. These can be business, personal, marriage, or any relationship. Getting to understand and appreciate the perspective and background of the "other side" can lead to a more productive means of communication. Most relationships break down because of a lack of communication. The Power of Empathy gives one a road map on how to direct your thoughts, actions, and emotions in dealing with anyone that matters. The implications of this approach are enormous. If spouses can learn to truly empathize with each other, their bond will strenghten. Business people can use empathy to learn how to better serve their clients. Politicians can use empathy to effectively provide for the needs of their constituents. Teachers can be more effective; doctors more responsive to patients needs. Even lawyers would be more in tune with their client's needs. The Power of Empathy is very readable. You don't have to have a background in psychology to understand and appreciate this book. Dr. Ciaramicoli gives examples of the uses of empathy with references to the literature. His message is documented by many authoritative sources in science and the arts. Everyone- and I mean everyone- can profit from this masterwork. It is highly recommended! The gospel of The Power of Empathy must be spread throughout the world.

Many self-help books that are offered to readers today rely on "POP" psychology theories that lack personal experience. This approach, in my opinion, lacks depth, soul, and originality which in many cases is born from painful experiences. Dr. Ciaramicoli, on the the other hand, courageously weaves his private and professional life experiences throughout the book and pierces through to the souls of all those who read it.

Reading "The Power of Empathy" reinvented the term for me and made me realize the dark side of empathy, which is often displayed when we manipulate other people for our gain.

To sum up, I applaud Dr. Ciaramicoli for his courage to share his personal story to me--the reader, regarding the struggles he endured as it gives me hope and a feeling of connectedness which, in my opinion, is the essence of empathy.

Dr. Ciaramicoli has accomplished the very difficult task of sharing himself and his clinical wisdom in an extraordinarily well written and usefull book. The Power of Empathy provides clear insights into how to better understand one's self and one's relationships. I have found the book valuable to me both personally and professionally and have recommended it both to family/friends and patients. The information is so clearly stated and helpful that I hope The Power of Empathy will be read by many. It is one of the best books of its kind that I have come across.

The term empathy and its meaning are often misunderstood. Dr Ciaramicoli has written a very engaging and simple guide to relationships and human interaction. He has written a book that the average lay person can understand and relate to. The thing that clicked with me was the thought that we can all take control of our lives and destiny through the power of empathy. His process and the way he communicates it has changed my life and the way I relate to people I come in contact with daily.

This book offers, a mix of laughter and tears as the author guides the reader through human experiences both good and bad. We are exposed to the possibilities that lie within all of us through the power of empathy. I found the honesty of the author refreshing, allowing readers to see him as another human being, not just a by-line on the cover a book.

This book vividly explains how empathy can have a profound effect on your relationships. These can be business, personal, marriage, or any relationship. Getting to understand and appreciate the perspective and background of the "other side" can lead to a more productive means of communication. Most relationships break down because of a lack of communication. The Power of Empathy gives one a road map on how to direct your thoughts, actions, and emotions in dealing with anyone that matters. The implications of this approach are enormous. If spouses can learn to truly empathize with each other, their bond will strenghten. Business people can use empathy to learn how to better serve their clients. Politicians can use empathy to effectively provide for the needs of their constituents. Teachers can be more effective; doctors more responsive to patients needs. Even lawyers would be more in tune with their client's needs. The Power of Empathy is very readable. You don't have to have a background in psychology to understand and appreciate this book. Dr. Ciaramicoli gives real life examples of the uses of empathy with references to the literature. His message is documented by many authoritative sources in science and the arts. Everyone- and I mean everyone- can profit from this masterwork. It is highly recommended! The gospel of The Power of Empathy must be spread throughout the world.

I note a trend in popular psychology toward a focus on a single emotion. Perhaps in the future every human emotion will have its expert, just as entomologists specialize in beetles or ants or wasps or flies, etc.

At any rate, Ciaramicoli's "practical guide" for self-improvement is distinguished from other similar programs by the author's intense focus, his caring concern, and especially his use of "empathy" as the guiding principle. Ciaramicoli broadens the usual definition of empathy past the point of normal recognition. "All living things are wired for empathy" he asserts (p. 35), and he specifically includes "slime molds" and in fact gives a rather intriguing explanation of why he thinks slime molds have empathy on pages 24-25. In reading this sincere and caring book, I found it necessary to just accept his terminology and not quibble about definitions or the fact that slime molds are not "wired" even metaphorically, because essentially Professor Ciaramicoli is correct in asserting the tremendous power of empathy to help us understand ourselves and others. I wonder, though, how much would have been lost had the word "empathy" been replaced with the word "love."

Ciaramicoli, who is a clinical psychologist and a member of the Harvard Medical School, gives examples from his personal life and from his practice demonstrating (to his satisfaction) the power of empathy to change people's lives for the better. He works hard at making a distinction between, say, sympathy, which "seeks to console," and empathy, which "works to understand" (p. 38). On page 166 he quotes Gretel Ehrlich to the effect that empathy is stronger than sympathy because it contains honesty while sympathy may conceal. Consequently he sees empathy as a double-edged sword that in the hands of enemies or in the hands those who make a practice of exploiting others, can work for malevolent purposes. Clearly "empathy" used in this sense can be replaced with a phrase like "a thorough understanding." But whether empathy for, say, Saddam Hussein or even for O.J. Simpson, would or could change them for the better is, to my mind, debatable.

Ciaramicoli was led to write this book in part because of the tragedy of his younger brother who died of an apparent intentional, self-inflicted overdose of heroin. He expresses a sense of guilt about his brother's wasted life and writes that he believes, had he and others been more empathetic, the tragedy could have been averted. I am not so sure. Of course Ciaramicoli should realize that he is not his brother's keeper, but more importantly he should know that heroin addicts are not freed from their addiction and their self-destructive behavior through empathy, and Ciaramicoli should not in any way blame himself. Of course if you are a successful older brother, who is everything the younger brother could not be, it is hard not to feel some sort of guilt, something akin to "survivor guilt." Ciaramicoli would do himself a favor by studying the literature on heroin addiction and listening to the experience of other families who have experienced similar addiction tragedies. I think such knowledge would help him overcome his profound sense of guilt. (A little work with evolutionary psychology on the nature of dominance among siblings wouldn't hurt either!)

Although I don't agree with some of the psychology expressed here, I certainly agree with Ciaramicoli's intent to help others. He writes about responding to the tears of children in "comforting, reassuring ways" instead of with indifference. No one can disagree with that. However, if a child is rewarded whenever it cries, it will tend to cry more, and when the child is older, if its antisocial behavior is rewarded with "empathy" to the exclusion of a clear expression that what the young person is doing is wrong, the young person may be led into continued antisocial and ultimately self-destructive behavior. It has been said that "to know all is to forgive all," meaning if we knew all the circumstances that led to a person's behavior we might well conclude, "there, but for the grace of God, go I." That is empathy, for sure. Nonetheless we, as a society, must still punish the transgressor, lest others be lead astray.

I think this is a book that may resonate with some people where other books have not been helpful, just as the author's notion of "empathy" may work where the usual guiding principle "love" has not. I really think it boils down to "The Power of Love and Understanding," but I suspect that book has already been written many times over.