Power of the Middle Ground: A Couple's Guide to Renewing Your Relationship [Paperback]

Marty Babits (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 17, 2008

The Power of the Middle Ground explains as no other self-help book does why and how the inherent difficulties entailed in the change process itself are daunting. Author Marty Babits, a seasoned couples therapist and educator, explains strategies and provides tips for grappling successfully with the challenges that change presents. This key aspect of working through relationship difficulties has, until now, been given short shrift in the popular and academic literature. Despite the central place of divorce in our culture, he teaches couples how to achieve a much greater impact in solving difficult interpersonal problems than is often thought possible.

Babits helps couples envision a place that brings their potential for love and compassion alive. This place, which neither partner can dominate and in which each learns to approach problems productively, he calls the middle ground. Through a series of exercises, he equips couples to appreciate and actualize what is positive and possible in their relationship.

This encouraging, yet realistic book empowers partners to negotiate differences, emphasize the positive, see issues from each other's point of view, defuse anger, and, as a result, rekindle warmth and love.

Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

According to couples therapist and educator Babits, the "middle ground" is the place where neither partner dominates, each approaches problems productively, and love and compassion come alive. His realistic directions on reaching the middle ground include seeing issues from the other's point of view, emphasizing the positive, and developing patience. It would be most beneficial, he notes, if both partners practiced the steps of "letting go of anger" or "paraphrasing the other's point" together. But even if just one of them uses this book as a tool for introspection, the relationship—whether straight or gay—should greatly improve. Worksheets and exercises are included. Recommended for public libraries.
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Review

"According to couples therapist and educator Babits, the "middle ground" is the place where neither partner dominates, each approaches problems productively, and love and compassion come alive. His realistic directions on reaching the middle ground include seeing issues from the other's point of view, emphasizing the positive, and developing patience. It would be most beneficial, he notes, if both partners practiced the steps of "letting go of anger" or "paraphrasing the other's point" together. But even if just one of them uses this book as a tool for introspection, the relationship - whether straight or gay - should greatly improve. Worksheets and exercises are included. Recommended for public libraries." Library Journal, Self-Help column, September 15, 2008 "This approachable if perhaps oversimplified self-help guide is refreshingly honest in its inclusion of gay couples, something that most guides overlook. Not only couples in crisis but newlyweds just beginning a life together can find valuable insights into how to appreciate each other's perspective and reach the middle ground before disagreements escalate into major problems." -- MonstersandCritics.com, January 12, 2009 "This key to learning the 'middle ground' oasis is a pick for any library, from health collections to general-interest lending libraries." -- The Bookwatch, The Midwest Book Review, March 2009 "Vivid guidelines, exercises, tips and vignettes bring the Middle Ground concepts alive. Readers welcome aboard." -- HappyCorner.com gift blog, January 12, 2009 "Anyone wishing to learn healthy new habits to practice in their relationships will find plenty of advice not just on how to fix damaged relationships, but to improve them going forward. This book will be very good reading even for those who think their relationships are in tip-top shape, too. Finding a balance and learning not to be too reactionary is difficult and not always rewarded in our everyday lives, so each of us could use some of the lessons, strength and power that can be found in Marty Babits' Middle Ground." --Sacramento Book Review, July 14, 2009

"According to couples therapist and educator Babits, the "middle ground" is the place where neither partner dominates, each approaches problems productively, and love and compassion come alive. His realistic directions on reaching the middle ground include seeing issues from the other's point of view, emphasizing the positive, and developing patience. It would be most beneficial, he notes, if both partners practiced the steps of "letting go of anger" or "paraphrasing the other's point" together. But even if just one of them uses this book as a tool for introspection, the relationship - whether straight or gay - should greatly improve. Worksheets and exercises are included. Recommended for public libraries." Library Journal, Self-Help column, September 15, 2008 "This approachable if perhaps oversimplified self-help guide is refreshingly honest in its inclusion of gay couples, something that most guides overlook. Not only couples in crisis but newlyweds just beginning a life together can find valuable insights into how to appreciate each other's perspective and reach the middle ground before disagreements escalate into major problems." -- MonstersandCritics.com, January 12, 2009 "This key to learning the 'middle ground' oasis is a pick for any library, from health collections to general-interest lending libraries." -- The Bookwatch, The Midwest Book Review, March 2009 "Vivid guidelines, exercises, tips and vignettes bring the Middle Ground concepts alive. Readers welcome aboard." -- HappyCorner.com gift blog, January 12, 2009 "Anyone wishing to learn healthy new habits to practice in their relationships will find plenty of advice not just on how to fix damaged relationships, but to improve them going forward. This book will be very good reading even for those who think their relationships are in tip-top shape, too. Finding a balance and learning not to be too reactionary is difficult and not always rewarded in our everyday lives, so each of us could use some of the lessons, strength and power that can be found in Marty Babits' Middle Ground." --Sacramento Book Review, July 14, 2009

"According to couples therapist and educator Babits, the "middle ground" is the place where neither partner dominates, each approaches problems productively, and love and compassion come alive. His realistic directions on reaching the middle ground include seeing issues from the other's point of view, emphasizing the positive, and developing patience. It would be most beneficial, he notes, if both partners practiced the steps of "letting go of anger" or "paraphrasing the other's point" together. But even if just one of them uses this book as a tool for introspection, the relationship - whether straight or gay - should greatly improve. Worksheets and exercises are included. Recommended for public libraries." Library Journal, Self-Help column, September 15, 2008 "This approachable if perhaps oversimplified self-help guide is refreshingly honest in its inclusion of gay couples, something that most guides overlook. Not only couples in crisis but newlyweds just beginning a life together can find valuable insights into how to appreciate each other's perspective and reach the middle ground before disagreements escalate into major problems." -- MonstersandCritics.com, January 12, 2009 "This key to learning the 'middle ground' oasis is a pick for any library, from health collections to general-interest lending libraries." -- The Bookwatch, The Midwest Book Review, March 2009 "Vivid guidelines, exercises, tips and vignettes bring the Middle Ground concepts alive. Readers welcome aboard." -- HappyCorner.com gift blog, January 12, 2009 "Anyone wishing to learn healthy new habits to practice in their relationships will find plenty of advice not just on how to fix damaged relationships, but to improve them going forward. This book will be very good reading even for those who think their relationships are in tip-top shape, too. Finding a balance and learning not to be too reactionary is difficult and not always rewarded in our everyday lives, so each of us could use some of the lessons, strength and power that can be found in Marty Babits' Middle Ground." --Sacramento Book Review, July 14, 2009

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 263 pages
• Publisher: Prometheus Books; First Edition edition (December 17, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1591026628
• ISBN-13: 978-1591026624
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,302,792 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A fine self-help book from a seasoned couples therapist and educator, March 13, 2009

By 

Midwest Book Review (Oregon, WI USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Power of the Middle Ground: A Couple's Guide to Renewing Your Relationship (Paperback)

THE POWER OF THE MIDDLE GROUND: A COUPLE'S GUIDE TO RENEWING YOUR RELATIONSHIP provides a fine self-help book from a seasoned couples therapist and educator, who explains strategies for handling relationship difficulties. The focus here is on creating a place that brings love and compassion alive - a place where neither partner dominates, and each approaches problems productively. This key to learning the 'middle ground' oasis is a pick for any library, from health collections to general-interest lending libraries.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The "Middle Ground" is Indeed Powerful, February 5, 2009

By 

Shifra Levin (New York, New York) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Power of the Middle Ground: A Couple's Guide to Renewing Your Relationship (Paperback)

Power of the Middle Ground: A Couple's Guide to Renewing Your Relationship
Marty Babits has written a terrific book, for both couples and therapists. It is a user friendly guide
that has many practical exercises and unique examples that both make sense and work. As a couple's
therapist, and also someone in a relationship, I can attest to this. Mr. Babits gives communication, anger
and keeping love alive a new framework. The "Middle Ground", is, indeed, powerful.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Intelligent and indispensable, June 15, 2009

By 

Wednesday Martin - See all my reviews

This review is from: Power of the Middle Ground: A Couple's Guide to Renewing Your Relationship (Paperback)

With this important, intelligent, and accessible book, Marty Babits does more than demonstrate his expertise in helping couples heal; he suggests a rich and meaningful theoretical concept--the Middle Ground--that will resonate with and give hope to anyone who has ever felt trapped, stymied, or at a loss about how to connect with a partner. The stories of real couples transitioning from pain to progress with the author's compassionate and insightful guidance, will move you; and the author's interventions and suggested exercises will not only motivate you to take action, but also show you how to go about it. The book will also help you to truly know yourself and your partner, no easy thing and the key to building a lasting, flexible and strong relationship that grows as partners do. As someone who has interviewed many dozens of couples for my own research, I believe that The Power of the Middle Ground has important lessons to impart, not only to the lay reader, but also to therapists, researchers, and relationship experts. Moreover, it is rare that a book for couples suggests a paradigm so rich that it can also be helpful to couples in a remarriage or reparternship with children, that most fragile of unions. The Power of the Middle Ground is just such an unusual book, and I recommend it highly and without hesitation to couples in general, and also to the many people who seek information about how to resolve conflict and find fulfillment and mutual understanding in their remarriages with children. *****
Wednesday Martin, Ph.D.
Author, Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do