Customer Reviews

Power Money Fame Sex: A User's Guide

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1 star:		(4)

 

 

...This is both a guide and an antiguide, according toMs. Rubin. "If you're a striver, you'll find material to spur you on." "If you're a nonstriver, . . . you can use the guide defensively . . . ." Much like Machiavelli before her, then, the information can be used in a variety of ways. The information itself is described in morally neutral ways (hence, amoral). That point will upset many people, much as the moral neutrality (and supreme practicality) of Machiavelli does.

How can one be neutral about the subject of using other people for base pleasures? Perhaps no one can. Upon closer inspection, some elements of the book are not so neutral. For example, there is something morally uplifting about having a negative reaction to the grubby details of striving for more power, money, fame and sex! This is an important point because much of what you read in this book has to cause you to disapprove. I imagine few will be inspired by the image of the business tycoon who yells so loudly at subordinates that they are constantly drenched in saliva in addition to having their ears and egos abused. Few women will be enthralled by the descriptions of athletes who send seating attendants to proposition female fans for a quick interlude before locker room interviews begin after the game.

Ms. Rubin also sneaks in the consequences in another way. Each section ends in a discussion of "the blues" -- the downside of having achieved one's strivings. Many people find themselves profoundly unhappy. Thoughtful people will wonder why bother if the results aren't worth the candle. That undoubtedly had to be the intent of including these smuggled antigratification observations into a book about how to strive to get these gratifications.

For the careful observer, there's a potential voyage of self-discovery here. She bluntly asks you to consider why you want power, money, fame, and sex. On the surface, this seems to be because some people are confused about means and ends...There are many confusions among the strivers outlined in the book.

What is missing, though, is any consideration of satisfaction beyond the moment. For example, the power section helps you figure out whether you get more pleasure for direct power (authority) or indirect power (influence). Neither links however to the idea of using the power for some greater good...

At its best, this book is much like Robert Cialdini's excellent book, Influence, in looking effectively at how we respond to each other. Ms. Rubin is a very astute observer of human nature and social situations. I was very interested in her list of common themes that showed up in all four gratification categories:

-- signaling (act, dress, and speak for the role you want)

-- sprezzatura (show only a graceful, easy carelessness that hide your strivings)

-- dis-expectation (to demonstrate your triumph, reverse expectations . . . such as the CEO who shows up for an important formal meeting in suit and sneakers)

-- platinum rule (to whom much is given, more is given)

-- the blues (satisfying these urges doesn't tell you how to be happy)

Now reverse your role, and imagine that instead of using this information to strive you want to use it to guard against rampages by wanton strivers. Now, the book starts to get more interesting. The phoniness behind many of the otherwise powerful public displays is revealed here, much like showing a magician's secrets...We are encouraged to test these public displays, quietly and gently, and often . . . the balloon will pop. In fact, we should normally expect it to.

Viewed from the "protection against phony strivers" perspective, this book is better than moralizing in some ways. The primary advantage is that it will make more phony posturing observable as such. As a result, it will also help people better understand the posturing that is going on around them, how to deal with it, and how to overcome it when necessary. I see that as a major advance!

Although the book rarely deals with it, there is one area where these are considered purely as techniques . . . and you can begin to see them as such. Techniques, by themselves, can be helpful for good as well as for gratification. This point seems to be made by some of the examples at the ends of the four sections for power, money, fame and sex. Consider Anne. She has a choice of offices, and takes the one nearest the boss. Discovering that he is shy, she makes it her business to communicate with him in ways he finds comfortable. She buys lunch where he does, and carries it back to her desk to eat in as he does every day. They become confidantes. When he is promoted, she gets his old job, and everyone finds that natural. She has made herself his deputy, de facto, even though she never had that job.

Before leaving the book, I must observe that the major danger of a work like this is to make those who want harmful ends more effective in some cases. We will all have to be on our toes more than usual after a book like this. Many will justifiably point at that creating this moral danger makes any amoral book, in fact, immoral. I certainly came out that way. But I left this point to near the end in order to leave the field open to your judgment.

Whether you decide this book is totally serious, immoral, a satire, a useful guide to get things that will make you unhappy, or something else, I suspect it will intrigue you. I have never seen a book quite like it. Having opened Pandora's Box, we all need a dose of this book to help innoculate us from the ills it can generate...Go beyond that to consider the leaders who matter in your life, and examine how they are using these levers. After you have demystified your world in this way, pick a worthy goal and some ethical techniques . . . and see what you can accomplish. I suspect that the combination of a virtuous end and ethical, effective means will make you much more irresistible.

From reading the 22 previous reviews of Ms. Rubin's PMFS to date, it appears that people either loved it or hated it. To those who hated it, I would suggest that they are reacting to her words as if they were prescriptions, rather than the unjudgemental description of human behavior that I believe the book to be. Ms. Rubin is not advocating for anything here. She is merely describing how people act with one another in modern society. If someone finds what Ms. Rubin has written to be shocking, I'd suggest that this is only because she portrays human conduct so accurately. I'm don't believe that Ms. Rubin is saying anything new. What is new, is that she has compiled an extensive, well-organized catalog of human behavior as it relates to PMF and S. Further, she provides the answer to the moral qualms on the last two pages.

I thought so much of her cold wisdom that I put the book in the mail to my son at college today, in the hope that Ms. Rubin's insights will help him weather life's storms a little better. First Corinthians this is not, but neither should it be. That kind of wisdom is available elsewhere. Ms. Rubin's kind of wisdom is harder to come by.

Ms. Rubin's facts are astonishly abundant, and clearly illustrate her points ("true facts"...I think is how she puts it.) It would be interesting if the book had been footnoted rather than just a selected bibliography, but perhaps that would be gilding the lily. Maybe, I just want to know where she found all this out.

I am rapidly becoming an enormous fan of Ms. Rubin's works, and regret that she is not making a tour to promote her newest work about JFK. I would pay good money to sit for an evening and listen to what Ms Rubin has to say.

Each page of this gem is jammed with both trivia and wisdom, and I devoured it like a guilty pleasure. But the book is more than that. Like any good satire, this book operates and succeeds on many levels.

I came to Rubin's writing through her current work on The Happiness Project, of which I am a committed reader. Rubin's blog (........) -- where she reports on her experiments to bring more happiness into her life -- is brimming with earnestness. So when I started Power, Money, I was expecting more of that sweet, earnest voice. Instead, I saw her brilliantness and wit. Rubin obviously has the ability to pitch her voice perfectly to each project.

Now, I'm off to tackle her "Forty Ways," books. If anyone could get me excited to read about political machinations, it's Rubin.

I bought this book after stumbling across it in the sociology section at Borders. I flipped through it and found some humorous and insightful comments and decided to buy it to lighten up my reading, as I primarily read Peter Drucker, other management books and some philosophy. I thought the book would be some light-hearted humor and I wasn't disappointed!

The author, Gretchen Craft Rubin, is an extremely witty woman. While her background is law the book has tons of comments from famous historical figures such as Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, Plutarch, Shakespeare, and Edith Wharton.

The book is segmented, as expected, into the 4 sections described in the title (POWER MONEY FAME SEX).

Each section provides some unique insight into human behavior, some examples in recent history and tons of witty comments from historical figures

Here are just some of the examples but, just so you know, the book is not in quotation form.

"People believe, and research proves, that high-status men attract more women easily than low-status men."

"The sex that accompanies your success is a nice perk for all your hard work - a pleasant, convenient way to demonstrate the status you've achieved."

"They envy the pleasures they imagine you've won. Perception drives reality, and your status swells accordingly. "

Playboy Donald Trump "When we walk into a restaurant, I watch grown men weep." He was watching other men's reaction to his date, not his date herself.

Jack Kennedy reported "once I get a woman, I'm not interested in carrying on, for the most part." He was pursuing conquests, not relationships.

LBJ "Goddamn it, I had more women by accident than he ever had by design." - he maintained a nookie room" in the capital for his illicit liaisons

"The more money, fame and power you have the more easily you can have casual sex."

Anyways, I can go on and on about the book but I will not. BUY THE BOOK, enjoy it as it is fairly easy reading and, at 270 pages well worth the price of the insights and humor delivered.

This book serves as an interesting and sometimes eye-opening look at how power, money, fame, and sex are gained and used. More a look at how those with PMF and S (appeal) use and increase it, rather than a guide of how someone with none can get started. I like the author's style, though I am not able to describe it well. Read a sample page, perhaps? I recommend this book for those who might just want an interesting few hours read and want an offbeat way to look at power, money, fame, or sex (mostly how it is used, rather than the in and outs, so to speak).

Gretchen writes with a wonderful "in your face style" that I found refreshing. The title of the book is not only an author's "Keyword Dream" but the book answers the how to questions implied in each of those words. This is not fluff reading. If you are easily offended by the way the world really is out there, read another book. If you want to see life in the fast lane, here it is. This book is a winner. Kevin Hogan, ...

This "guide" is one of the most wickedly delicious books I've read in a long time. It can be read on so many levels: satire, how-to, cultural analysis. It reveals the underbelly of ambition in a way that is both terrifying and totally fascinating.

The author says it best, you can use this for defense or for offense, but if you aren't using these principles, they are probably being used against you.

A great read. Gives the innocents of the world a wide-open look into the Playbook of the Powerful. Packed with delectable insider anecdotes and everywhere grace-noted with literary insight, this is a funny book, a shocking book, a useful book. It's hard to get through a page without reading something horrifying or hilarious out loud to your companions. PMFS walks the wicked line between cold how-to and piercing satire---in the end, it's in the character of the reader to determine where that line falls.

Parody or self-help book? Well, B&N believes the latter: they really do have it shelved in the "self-improvement" section. Maybe the library scientists working there know more than I do. Regardless, the author is an extremely polished writer.

After reading POWER MONEY FAME SEX, I realized that most, if not all, of the successful people I know use the principles described in this book. Some of them use them offensively, some of them use them defensively. And for the most part, they're all good people. They're just smart. They strategize. They're ambitious. More power to them.

Ultimately, that's what this book is about. Being empowered. Knowing what other people are doing, and knowing what you can do to get what you want. The only people who are going to use the principles in this book in an immoral way are people who were jerks to begin with. POWER MONEY FAME SEX isn't going to turn anyone into a bad person. But it might give the nice guy a better shot at that promotion.