Customer Reviews

The Power of Two: Surviving Serious Illness with an Attitude and an Advocate

5 star:		(20)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

When you are informed of an illness, you can either prepare to suffer or prepare to heal. The journey taken by Brian & Gerri Monaghan is an outstanding example of two people who banned together and prepared for a healing. Their journey was obviously not without great struggle, but they were able to reach the outcome that they had created in their minds as the journey began.

In reading the synopsis for this book, I was immediately interested in the involvement of the "advocate" in the telling of this inspiring story. I have an ill family member and I am what would be considered her advocate. Gerri lays out plenty of tips for effective advocating, some of which are common sense, but some of which have given me a great sense of direction and even a sense of power in directing the course the disease will take in my loved one.

The personalities of these two individuals melded in a way that left Brian's brain tumors and cancer very little chance of "defeating" him. Their attitudes overcame a seemingly hopeless situation and I was inspired by the results of the love and care that they have for one another.

This book has been an invaluable tool in the advocacy that I provide for my loved one and I would strongly recommend it. I do not necessarily share all of their beliefs, but that is of very little consequence, as the power and weight of the story will benefit greatly anyone who chooses to read it.

The Power of Two by Brian and Gerri Monaghan has some very good information for anyone who may be going through a serious illness with a family member. The patient advocate tips are invaluable.

Brian fell ill with cancer and his wife Gerri stood by his side as his advocate making sure his treatment and recovery were handled properly. The book is interesting and easy to read, and the authors come across as very likeable people, and his outcome is one of success.

My problem with the book is this--and I am quoting from the INTRODUCTION.
"It's an unfortunate reality that too few have the financial capablity to seek medical help where their research leads them, BUT I DID (emphasis mine). Not everyone has the ability to stay at home and rest without the fear of losing his or her job.... I DID. Not many people have been able to reap the benefits of access to an emerging vaccine therapy simply because they knew one person who knew another person who knew someone else who was the person developing that very vaccine. BUT I DID."

So Mr. Monaghan has the financial ability to research leads, the finances to stay at home and recooperate, and knew people who knew people that got him the experimental vaccine. And I am happy that he was able to do these things. But--that is not the common man's story, that is not the rest of us.

While I am happy that the Monaghans had a successful journey and I take nothing away from his suffering throughout the ordeal, most of us cannot do what he and his wife did. So to even hint that he survived because of good advocacy, and good humor and the support of family and friends is a little bit of a lop-sided story. I'm not sure the bulk of us would have survived this battle.

For the most part we must work, we must take the treatments offered to us because we have no choices in this matter.

The book does have helpful tips and information for advocating for your loved ones during these kinds of crises but outside of that, I can't relate to his circumstances. If you are looking for information on how to advocate for your ill loved one, this is a great resource.

When my husband had a massive brain hemorrhage followed by brain surgery, we had just moved hundreds of miles from family and friends. As we searched for a business to purchase, we worked part-time temp jobs and had no insurance. Another reviewer felt that "The Power of Two" may not be helpful to readers who lack the resources and support system of the Monaghan's, but our experience demonstrated that the type of advocacy outlined in this book can have dramatic results in any situation. Patients, no matter what their previous station in life or financial level, become instantly vulnerable and unable to responsibly advocate on their own behalf. Advocacy may not get the patient the same level of care Brian Monaghan got, but it will vastly improve the care at any level because health care providers will be aware they are being closely scrutinized, and they are expected to give the best possible treatment available to that patient.

To quote another reviewer, our current health care system is driven by "cost effectiveness" rather than adequate patient care. In that climate, mistakes are often made and patients do not receive medications or treatments that would elevate their quality of life. I found, as did Gerri Monaghan, that constant vigilance is a necessity. Gerri used the internet, social networking, and gut instinct to lead her to the best possible treatments. Gerri and Brian acted as a team, making decisions together, which allowed Brian to retain his dignity and personal power. This is essential, since the health care system quickly strips the patient of any power they may have felt before their health emergency. My husband has recovered beautifully from an event the doctor's said he had a 5% chance of even surviving. We both feel that intense and unrelenting advocacy were the key to his recovery. We agree that "The Power of Two" is a must read not only for those who are dealing with an illness, but for anyone who uses the medical system. Lee & Steven Hager are the authors of Quantum Prodigal Son: Revisiting Jesus' Parable of the Prodigal Son from the Perspective of Quantum Mechanics

The sad truth is, the medical establishment is not incented to provide the BEST care for patients, but instead to provide the most COST EFFECTIVE care for patients. Particularly if patient is seriously ill (or elderly!), this can mean not getting all the care that they need. Every hospital and care facility has HMO representatives prowling the halls, looking for costs to cut (ie, patients to send home). This book is about fighting back.

This is the perfect book to help you get your loved one the care they deserve. The program it describes is right on track for us non-medical professionals, with an emphasis on asking questions, learning about the disease, and firmly demanding the best possible care. Those two words in the title- Attitude and Advocate-are exactly what a critically ill patient needs.

I want to focus on the Advocate role for a moment. This is the most valuable concept in the book. It may seem obvious that a spouse, parent or adult child can act as an advocate for our sick loved one. But at those critical moments, when the HMO rep is trying to deny care, or ship your loved one off to a nursing home, or drug your loved one instead of giving them more expensive therapy, an advocate can fight for the proper care. It will be a difficult fight, so do your homework.

Bottom line: if you haven't been through the medical roller coaster on a serious illness ticket yet, this book will help you get better care with less stress. Five stars.

As our population grows older, more and more of us will be placed in the position of advocating for our parents, spouses, siblings, and other loved ones. Rather than guess my way forward, I chose this book to see whether it would help me in my pursuit to become a well-educated advocate. I was not disappointed.

When Brian Monaghan was diagnose with Stage IV cancer neither he nor his wife Gerri gave up. Gerri doggedly learned as much as she could about Brian's condition and never gave up. This book offers 50 tips on how to be the best advocate you can while still maintaining your sanity. It includes some common sense items, but many are much more than that.

My friend was recovering from extensive surgery for abdominal cancer. She was dozing off two days post-op while I read a book by her bedside. We both looked up as a young resident and a med student entered the room.

"Hi," the young man said, "We're from the psychiatry team. Your doctors asked us to come around and see how you're doing."

"You've looked at the chart," E. said, "So you can probably guess how I'm doing. I'm in a lot of pain, I have cancer, and I had a really bad night. [unspoken thought 'You have got to be freaking kidding me!]

"Well," the student began as she stepped forward while staring at the floor, "Are you feeling a little down?"

As the conversation proceeded in this Alice in Wonderland sort of way, the real motive for the visit surfaced. Turns out the surgical team wondered if E. was depressed, so they called the psychiatry team in to get the scoop. The psychiatry team wondered if she'd like to start an antidepressant, but agreed, at our urging, to simply tell the surgical team to spend a little more time in the room each early a.m. discussing pain management, sleep meds, and care planning with E. and her daughter. And I wondered, once again, how anyone survives medical care without an advocate.

We are fortunate, therefore, that Brian and Gerri Monaghan have written a moving account of their own journey through life-threatening illness and advocacy. Not only is this book a compelling, entertaining, and (at times) tear-jerking account of love and loyalty in sickness and in health, it is a step-by-step, tip-by-tip, how-to manual for all of us who will face a serious illness or care for someone in that situation. And, through my life roles as doctor, wife, daughter, mother, and friend, I can tell you that will absolutely be all of us.

I'd like to say that I'm going to keep this book on my shelf for my next advocacy adventure, but I've already given it away to a friend who was diagnosed last week with cancer. With the Monaghans on their team, and this guidebook in hand, she and her daughter can stand up and tell the psychiatry team, the pain team, the surgical team, and/or the oncology team, KEEP IN TOUCH!, and first and foremost talk to the home team!

We bought the book for our daughter-in-law and son, who has been diagnosed with a brain tumor as was the author. Our son has also been blessed with financial success so costs are not an issue, as with the authors. Also his wife has been in his life for 10 years, again, similar to the author's situation.

When they got the book they read it straight through and found it "encouraging". I think that says it all.

I loved this book because it helped me to get all of my ducks in a row. I am very organized when we go to the doctor or hospital and can answer any of the doctors questions immediately with my notes. I have hope for my husband and I won't stop looking for new ideas if the care he is receiving doesn't work.

The Power of Two is partially an autobiographical sketch of a prominent San Diego medical malpractice defense attorney who survived metastatic melanoma with the help of his wife, connections, a good attitude, and some incredible good fortune, and partially a how-to guide to advocate for a loved one who is seriously ill. The sketch is fascinating and five star worthy as these two people have gone through a ton and have sought to give back for their gift. Unfortunately, the how to guide isn't as good, with some fantastic organizational and advocacy tips but also a glaring lack of information on cancer, caregiving, and how to navigate the mess that is the health care system in the US without Mr. Monaghan's powerful base. As such, a reluctant 3 stars.

Mr. and Mrs. Monaghan are incredibly fortunate to have each other and for Mr. Monaghan to be alive after melanoma that metastasized to his brain over 10 years ago. The story of his survival is inspiring, and he and Mrs. Monaghan appear to really have been trying to give back with a book like this to attempt to help advocates and his devotion to charity work.

To an extent, they succeed. Within the 50 tips provided, there are some great organizational ones that nobody in the medical field would even consider recommending. Even better is the hope that the patient gets the underlying message of being assertive (but not arrogant) with the medical establishment - feel free to fire doctors and seek second opinions, understand that it's unlikely a doctor is aware of every treatment so the responsibility for making them aware of new research is on you, and pay very close attention to medical records and potential treatment and speak up when you think there's an error before it compounds. This is one of the few books that makes the extremely important points to watch out for hospitals in July (when new residents begin their rotations) and to try not to have serious procedures done over weekends and holidays.

Unfortunately, where it doesn't do so well is translating the Monaghan's experience to that of others. Some reviewers have commented on the wealth and connections Mr. Monaghan was able to draw on - for instance, he flew on the private jet of the owner of the San Diego Padres to MD Anderson and got in to see the former head of UCSF's neurosurgery department and schedule his initial surgery in a grand total of a single day, both of which are well beyond most mortals - but that criticism misses the larger point despite some slightly oddball advice like "hire someone to pay the bills" if they become overwhelming.

What's more important is that Mrs. Monaghan's experience in caregiving has been wildly different than most - partially because of her husband's privileged status, but largely because of Mr. Monaghan's rapid improvement from terminal illness and lack of chronic illness despite his later struggle with aphasia. As such the advice given will be only marginally helpful to most, since they've not experienced what most patients and caregivers go through. (As an example of how bad it is, some studies have suggested long term caregivers have a 95% rate of depression.)

Suggestions to aid people in those awful situations, along with alternatives like respite care, are entirely absent from the book despite tip #41 on taking care of the caregiver - and in fact, when Mr. Monaghan briefly appeared to potentially need long term care, Mrs. Monaghan immediately made a rapid decision to not provide caregiving herself and go through their savings and hire someone (much as they ended up doing with speech therapy). The lack of an overview on cancer is also noticeably absent and badly needed; it's very likely most non-professional readers have utterly no idea what a metastasis is and how traditional cancer treatment is supposed to work. One could argue that being open to attempt clinical trials and other non-traditional treatment is part of the point of this book, but even then a baseline overview written by an MD - especially with Mr. Monaghan's plentiful connections in the field - would have made this a far better book, since it's awful hard to tell what's good when you don't know what's bad, and more importantly, what's normal. (The fact that Mr. Monaghan's survival was pretty much based off a clinical trial that succeeded beyond any expectation without any explanation of when it's appropriate to get into them makes the omission a bit disappointing. Referring the reader to a government website and providing zero overview of the process is unfortunately inadequate.)

Finally and perhaps most importantly, Mr. Monaghan was by and large an active and helpful patient to his wife and to their credit, their relationship survived the strain with flying colors. Most caregivers are not so fortunate, and inability to deal with the stresses on a relationship when going through events like this is something that has driven more than one relationship into the ground. A couple of tips and stories of Mr. Monaghan having steroid driven rage help a little, but compared to a couple facing Alzheimer's or those dealing with a sick child, the experience they've been through just doesn't translate well.

Still, this is a worthwhile read for the organizational and advocacy tips and kudos to the two of them for writing it. Unfortunately, it's not going to help as much as it could and probably should. Perhaps someday someone will write that five star book; until then, 3 stars and best wishes to them both.

I personally am a recently disabled adult, who had a lot of friends and family support to help get me through the rough parts. I know I would never have made it on my own. You really do need a team to assist you because doing it yourself is near impossible.

This book is a part of your support team. I do not agree with every aspect within, some items will be out of date by 2012, that said if you think this book might help you -get it-

The items and to-do's inside as well as the outlines are priceless information that you'll learn as you go along. Remember, local laws, medical facilities, and more are huge variables... So view this as an outline to assist in how to cope and how to get answers to the thousands of questions that will pop up. It also has some decent advice on how to relate to those in your life that your new medical status will effect also, and how to really answer when those who care about you ask 'how can I help.'

I drop some stars for some of the tangents and views that had political and religious weight over that of what you need medically. It also assumes a huge financial ability not everyone has, nor access to many treatment types and even the ability to recuperate without job liability (something more and more an issue in 2009-2010). Do not take this as a negative review. If you have a serious medical issue, you have no experience with how to deal with it, read this. If you know someone or a couple who just got the bad news this week? Buy this for them, today. No matter the outcome they will thank you for it, and this book is perfect to pass on once you no longer need it.