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Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People: Over 325 Ready-to-Use Words and Phrases for Working with Challenging Personalities Paperback – October 15, 2013
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"Her [the author's] book offers readers great tips for handling difficult personalities using specific verbal and nonverbal communication in combination with a five-step conflict-resolution formula." --Retailing Insight
"Isn’t workplace harmony worth a try? Wouldn’t you rather have truce than trouble? If the answer to those questions is affirmative, then grab this book." --Houston Style Magazine
Incompetent, lazy, spotlight-hogging, whiny, backstabbing, avoidant—there’s no end to the personality challenges that impede workplace relationships. But interacting effectively with employees, colleagues, and bosses is essential for success.
With Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People, anyone can confront problems head-on, before they fester and spread. Practical and easy to use, the book helps you identify button-pushing situations and deploy simple phrases to regain control and resolve conflicts—no matter who you’re dealing with. Helpful features include:
• Thirty common personality traits, behaviors, and workplace scenarios along with the phrases that work best with each
• Nonverbal communication skills to back up your words
• Sample dialogues that demonstrate how phrasing improves interactions
• A five-step process for moving from conflict to resolution
• “Why This Works” sections that provide detailed explanations
Like it or not, the bulk of our waking hours are spent with people at work. This book’s pithy, powerful communication tips will make those hours far more harmonious and productive.
Top Customer Reviews
I mean, I really have to laugh on some level. The difficult people I deal with would brush this kind of stuff aside with an effortless swish of the finger. The book curates a number of really very basic ideas that we'd all be familiar with in any case (e.g., using "I" phrases), and then gives a short story/skit in which the technique is demonstrated. And it's just comical. The characters in these skits are not very tenacious, they are impossibly logical and empathetic, they instantly capitulate, they speak in strange, inorganic, stilted ways, and then they have a group hug moment when it's all over. These kinds of epiphanies occur, in the real world, only after Godot does.
Anyone who has dealt with truly caustic personalities in the workplace knows that this is a pipe dream.
For example, the protagonist (who has been viciously slandered, or outmaneuvered, or ignored, or impugned) says: "Can't you see how what you did there affects me, and even though I now understand that you did mean it in that way, that it still will upset me?" And in Ms. Evenson's universe, the respondant now says: "Yes, indeed, I can see how that would have upset you, and now that my eyes are opened, I will be ever so careful in the future to proactively leverage your feelings. I now see that we are equally important partners in this enterprise, and that I have been hateful. Let us now hug, and seal the bond between us, wherein we now understand each other's equally valid life choices!!!"
Anyone that works in a place where important things are done (and hence, has aggressive personalities) knows that this is not reality.
I am disappointed in the book. There was nothing here, really, that I could benefit from.Read more ›
Three areas where I believe the book falls short. First, in the conflict resolutions and using the phrases, the situation always resolves in a positive manner. There are just some instances and situations where the person, especially with some of the personality types, that are just not going to be so understanding even if you are using all of the right phrases. I wish the book would take some time to delve into that area and how it can be handled.
Second is in dealing with unethical behavior. Whether it is a boss or a colleague, there are more implications than the author touches on beyond just getting fired. In many industries, especially those which are under some form of regulatory scrutiny - which is a lot - there are legal implications to no reporting the behavior, regardless of your involvement. Sometimes you have no choice but to report the behavior, especially in industries such as a Pharma or financial company. And most of those companies should have something in place to allow you to report it without reprisal.
Which leads me to the third area, reprisal. Whether from a boss or colleagues, reprisal unfortunately is something else to deal with and it can be tricky. Especially when its from unethical behavior. An area that I think should be covered in this book.
Overall, its a good basis for giving you the tools to better handle any relationship. It would be good if the book to take it a little further and touch on these other topics.
“Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People" is a helpful resource to enable the reader to handle any type of conflict with any person. The book offers phrases to communicate effectively and how to put those phrases in practice according to a number of different scenarios. This straight-forward 241-page book is broken out into two main parts: Power Phrases + Actions = Successful Work Relationships, and Effective Conflict Resolution = Strengthened Work Relationships.
1. A well-written accessible book.
2. An important topic, how to deal with conflicts effectively.
3. Excellent and easy to follow format. The book flows smoothly. The format is consistent which helps readers find sections quickly within chapters. Sub sections like “Something to Think About” and “Why This Works” are very helpful.
4. Overall, good advice. “Opening your conversation with “I” phrases keeps the focus on how the other person's actions made you feel.”
5. Provides many phrases of apology and of compromise. “Let's talk about this. I need to know why it happened and how we can keep it from happening again.”
6. Stresses the importance of following words with actions. “That's because your words convey your message, but your actions convey the feelings and emotions behind it. Nonverbal communication is the actions you take as you speak and listen.”
7. Some advice resonates in its simplicity and immediate effectiveness. The advice on how to read the other person’s level of assertiveness was excellent. “If the person immediately backs down, show compassion.”
8. The five steps to effective conflict resolution. This is a core feature of this book and consists of: 1. think first, 2.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Awesome advice for dealing with difficult people.
If you strive to be that rising star in your company, no matter what line of work you are in, this book is a must have for... Read more
I gave this to my granddaughter to use in her work situation. She said it helped her very much.Published 2 months ago by Elaine McKay
Typos and grammatical errors drive me crazy.... Made it to page 41 before I noticed the first onePublished 3 months ago by Joanne Silver
Is this book a farce? That's the only way it would make sense. These are instructions to keep some peace among the kids at Millennial Day Care, not a workplace. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Trounces
I enjoyed reading this book. It offered good examples that can be applied in multiple situations, especially in an office environment.Published 5 months ago by Stephen Gardner
Puts a different perspective on difficult interactions in the work place. Also lays out different scenarios with different coworkers. Very fair price.Published 16 months ago by Sustainability
Maybe I was expecting too much, but I feel some of the specifics are lacking plausibility. I understand it is difficult to always capture these types of personalities in realistic... Read morePublished 17 months ago by Michael M