Customer Reviews

Practically Perfect in Every Way

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4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I really looked forward to this book since I love the magazine that Jennifer Niesslein helped create, Brain Child. I was not disappointed. This is a funny book, and I laughed many times. For instance, here is the author, describing her imagined discussion with a Catholic priest: "I tried to picture the exchange between us, but the furthest I could get was a cartoon version of me standing before a cartoon version of him. We would have thought bubbles above our heads. Mine: Has he EVER had sex? EVER? His: Does she know she's supposed to be obeying her husband?

This is also a thought-provoking book. Niesslein bravely delves into a topic that many people worry about but don't often discuss: mainly, what is happiness, do I have it, and if I don't have it, how do I get it? She pursues happiness, literally, by reading and gamely putting to the test various self-help books and methods, from Suze Orman on finances to Dr. Laura on marriage (not surprisingly, Niesslein's take on some of Dr. Laura's advice is hilarious). Along the way, the author goes from writing about the mundane (the disappointment of a master bedroom "littered with used dryer sheets") to the more philosophical (trying to arrange to have a "beautiful day" and concluding that such a day is "something I should keep behind glass, to be used in an emergency of bad mood.")

Finally, the book is a good conversation-starter. I think that many of us muddle through life asking ourselves the same questions that the author poses (What is happiness, do I have it, and if not, how do I get it), but that few of us ever really open up about it or are brave enough to take real action to get there. The last part of Niesslein's book suggests, to me, at least, that real happiness can come from focusing outward rather than inward. As the author notes, this doesn't necessarily involve being religious in the traditional sense or even helping others in common ways. In the author's case, it was "something extra I volunteered to do," something that made her, in her son's eyes, "noble."

The writing is impeccable; a perfect blend of readability, intensity and humor. Highly recommended!

I just finished reading this book and I loved it so much it's hard to be coherent, but I'll try:

Jennifer Niesslein spent two years honestly and unironically doing her best to follow self-help advice to improve herself and her life--but without abandoning her intelligence, skepticism, or common sense. She learned a lot and shares a lot of what she learned. The verdict, at least in part: Self-help programs can often help you, but they can't change you, and sometimes they can actually hurt you. Niesslein's writing is variously (and often simultaneously) hilariously funny, thoughtful, and moving. It's just a really, really good book. You should read it.

As a big fan of Brain, Child (Niesslein co-edits the magazine) and a voracious reader of self-help books, I couldn't wait to read this book, and I was not disappointed. I was curious to see what would happen if someone actually followed all the advice, did the goofy exercises, etc. instead of merely reading the self-help and hoping it would rub off by osmosis (which is what I tend to do.) This author actually gets with the program (or programs, as there are many,) and we get to go along for the ride. Of course, things are not so simple-- life, in all its imperfection, intervenes at every turn, yet she perseveres and comes to some interesting conclusions. The writing is funny, honest, and intimate, and makes for a great read.

Jennifer Niesslein has reason to be content. She lives with her husband and son and two dogs in a nice house in a nice neighborhood in Charlottesville, Virginia. She is reasonably young (in her early thirties) and reasonably successful (Niesslein is the cofounder of Brain, Child magazine), reasonably happy (her "average" happiness is in fact a 6 out of a possible 10) and reasonably well-to-do (having married into money). She is also a more than reasonably good writer. Still, Niesslein thought her life could stand some improvement....

Practically Perfect is a type of book we seem to be seeing more of these days (unless I'm just noticing them more): the author undertakes a project of some kind--outlandish or unusual in some way--and invites the reader to come along for the ride through the magic of creative nonfiction. A sort of travelogue without the travel. Watch while the author reads the entire Encyclopedia Britannica, say, or spends a year cooking Julia Child recipes. It's a conceit, of course, but one for which I have a particular weakness. With the appearance of each of these new books I kick myself for not having come up with the idea myself.

For her book, Niesslein--why didn't I think of this?--immersed herself for two years in the advice of an assortment of self-help experts, from Dr. Phil to Dr. Laura, from Cosmo to Oprah to Dale Carnegie to Dear Abby. She divides the spectrum of self-help possibilities into seven general areas--house, finances, marriage, mothering, community, health, and spirituality--and approaches these topics serially, exploring the programs of a number of different experts on each topic. Niesslein does not follow the various gurus' advice slavishly, but she is more serious about adopting their programs than most readers probably are. She journals her feelings for Dr. Phil, religiously cleans the "hot spots" in her house per the advice of her cleaning expert, and she exercises for 8 minutes every morning because Jorge Cruise told her to.

There is a practical benefit to reading this book. Readers are introduced painlessly to a host of different self-help programs. Like me, you may find yourself Googling some of them to find out more. But with books like this I'm really just in it for the ride. I want to spend time with an interesting character who can entertain on the page: check, and check. Niesslein's personality is spiced with a dollop of misanthropy (which, frankly, I find attractive):

"Just because I learned some tips on how to interact better with people doesn't mean I find it enjoyable or even worthwhile."

She is wont to be riled by petty grievances:

"One evening, Brandon walks into the kitchen and catches me, while I load the dishwasher, playacting the scene that will happen when the recycling bin thief is confronted. You had to have known that that wasn't your recycling bin, I snap. That nasty-ass green one is. My ire is contagious, and soon Brandon and I have, together, painted a devastating picture of the perpetrators' moral vacuum."

And she writes well. It's a winning combination. My only complaint is that the book could use an index--for help with all that self-help Googling the book inspires.

-- Debra Hamel

I just reviewed this for LifeTwo.com and thoroughly enjoyed it. It is a humorous travelogue through the over-promising world of self-help. By the time Niesslein is done, you've gotten a primer on all of the big names in self-help including Oprah, Seligman, Bach, Weil, Orman and of course Dr. Phil. I thought the premise was hilarious and the execution was done well. It is a great book for anyone who is about to embark on a self-help regimen and perhaps a better book for the 99% of us who've bought a self-help book only to be disappointed. "Practically Perfect" puts it humorously in perspective while teaching us a thing or two along the way.

Jennifer Niesslien is smarter, funnier, and more thoughtful than at least 99.5% of the people I know. It is her great gift that she makes her readers feel smart, funny, and thoughtful by association.

Niesslien invites you to come on into her imperfect life (house, checking account, home gym, playdate schedule, psyche) and get comfortable. You won't stay comfortable for long though, and that's the whole point.

I laughed all the way through this book (except for the dark parts, which are all the better for being unexpected) and then forced it on a great many of my friends.

Not perfect? Me neither. I loved this book.

As a reluctant self-help connoisseur, I looked forward to reading Practically Perfect. It's an account of Ms Niesslein's two-year exploration of the self-help mainstream. Feeling not quite perfectly happy, despite her youth, her adorable son, perfect husband, her satisfying work at the magazine, Brain, Child, and her large house in Charlottesville (one of the prettiest towns in the country), she decided to find out what the experts say. Over a period of two years, she concentrated on learning how to improve her house (Feng Shui, Real Simple magazine, and FlyLady), her money situation (David Bach, Suze Orman, and Vicki Robin and Pete Dominguez), her marriage (Laura Schlessinger and Dr. Phil), her mothering (a variety of sources), happiness itself (Martin Seligman), making friends (Dale Carnegie, Abigail Van Buren), health (Jorge Cruise, Andrew Weil), and religion and spirituality (Ann Lamott, Harold Kushner, and Oprah). Although Niesslein describes the range of advice that she read about, the book is chiefly a memoir. To enjoy it, one must be as interested in her as in her self-help adventures. She writes well and amusingly. If it weren't for the subtitle of the book (My Misadventures Through the World of Self-Help, and Back) I would have been surprised that it all ended with the development of panic attacks and her conclusion that her self-focus, caused by reading self-help books, was the cause of the attacks. Up until then, she seemed to be enjoying the project and appreciating some of the advice. You have to wonder whether she (or her publisher) wanted to cash in on the hint of an expose. In any case, her commentary is occasionally humorous and insightful.

I received an advance review copy from the publisher.

I have to admit that I was already biased before I picked this book up...I am a big fan of the author's literary magazine Brain, Child so I already expected something fun and smart from the author. This book is such a joy to read because it's like chatting with a girlfriend about the many difficult, funny and hard to believe realities of life in the self-help era! Each chapter is full of honesty, intelligence and the kind of honest observations that make you want to be the author's friend! Anyone who's been down the self-help path or like to laugh at those people will love this book!

Sorry, Jennifer. I'm a big fan of Brain, Child and really wanted to like your book, but the whiny tone and unimaginative look at self-help made reading this book feel like work. Most people seek out self-help books when they are really faced with a problem. By trying out programs just because you want to tweak a few things, you're not giving anyone (the authors of those books, yourself, or your readers) a fair gauge of these programs. And, it's very disappointing that the 2 areas that you really do need help - getting your son to sleep on his own and anxiety - get dismissed quickly. So, your son doesn't WANT to sleep on his own, even though you admit it interferes with your own sleep? You're worried about health insurance if you admit you have an anxiety disorder and may need medication? These are the true struggles of moms our age and you did nothing to address that.

This book has all of the elements I love in a book - a smart and tough main character who is not perfect, a chick lit type of slant (even though this is a non fiction) and of course, the humour!!!!

Jennifer Niesslein is happy - sort of - but now she is starting to question what is happy? and how do you know if you are?

These are all valid questions and I have to say that if Niesslein was just going for the laughs with this book - she could have tackled an easier subject. Yet, she manages to take a very difficult and somewhat taboo subject and turn it on its ear!!!

I think that many of us hit a wall where we start wondering about our lives - no matter how great it may look to other people and Niesslein decided to start her self-evaluation by using the tools she felt comfortable with. So with the help of Oprah, Dr. Laura, Suze Orman and David Bach, this memoir takes us through all the ups and downs that Niesslein goes through on her quest to find the answers that will make her happy (happier?). Yes, it is a big world of self help out there and some of it was actually helpful to her - but the most interesting thing for me, in this book, is the progression that Niesslein makes just by discovering who SHE really is - without the help of all these outside influences. All she really needed was the willingness to look inwards.

This book is witty, cute, charming, a little sad at times and I loved the spirituality of sorts that Niesslein is willing to open herself up to. The main characters in her life are well written and delightful and reading this book was a joy.

I cheer Niesslein on and I am inspired by her!