Customer Reviews

In Praise of Older Women: The Amorous Recollections of A. V (Phoenix Fiction Series)

5 star:		(13)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Like most classic novels, "In Praise of Older Women" is a simple and wise book. I consider my life meaningfully enriched by having read it. (And how many books can you say that about?) I can understand why the author (to whom I give my thanks) pursued the dubious expedient of personally promoting it here. It cries to be read! But I fear that its European sanity with regards to the eternal dance between men and women will always be a foreign tongue to American readers, saddled as we are with the sexual neuroses of our Purtian founders. What Vizinczey has learned about women, and which he has graciously shared with us, is not feminist and it is not politically correct. It is simply true. People who value doctrinal conformity over thoughtful perception had better stick to Oprah-approved novels instead. Those seeking to understand our human nature a little better before it is lost to the grave are well-advised to start here.

This is the author. I think those who like my work may be pleased to learn that the French edition of the novel, which was published a month ago along with my Truth and Lies in Literature, is already in its 3rd printing and has received favourable reviews. The 5 stars is a summary of the review of the French edition of In Praise of Older Women in the 25 May 2001 issue of LE MONDE. Here is a translation of some extracts: "... For eight years, living from hand to mouth, Vizinczey learned to become a writer in a language of exile. At the end of his apprenticeship, he published a masterpiece, In Praise of Older Women... At the price of discouraging some readers who are fond of sexual spectacles and amorous gymnastics, it has to be said that the novel, far from being about fantasies and neuroses, seeks, like all great novels, to teach those who read it the truth about life. It is a novel of apprenticeship which would be a good thing to offer to young people of both sexes as soon as they approach the enchanted and agonizing shores of sexuality... ... Faced with the youth cult and the barriers between age-classes which bear down on modern societies, where each generation seems to belong to a different period of history, Vajda-Vizinczey "having been lucky enough to grow up in what was still an integrated society", wishes to help to bring about a better understanding of "the truth that men and women have a great deal in common even if they were born years apart". Vajda begins from a simple observation: when adolescent boys and girls, knowing nothing about life and the other sex, want to begin lovemaking, they do it so clumsily, with so many fears, anxieties, preconceived notions and models furnished by bad books that what ought to be a pleasure turns into a struggle. And often for a whole lifetime. After several catastrophic experiences with teenage girls, Vajda, who refuses to look on women as his enemies, decides to rid himself of his sexual illiteracy by learning from those who know: older women. In his peregrinations he not only discovers simple and cheerful enjoyment, sexuality without anguish, free of guilt, sin and acrobatics, he learns the warmth, tenderness, delicacy and complexity of human relations - the voice of the other - the wearing away of time, understanding, habit and how to get around it - the errors, the shames, the joys... The irony, the lightness, the profundity, the naturalness and exactitude of the novelist are found again intact in the texts of the critic... András Vajda reads women the way that Vizinczey makes love with books: with the same desire to understand through pleasure, the same opening up of the mind and the heart, the same freedom, the same lucidity and passion for truth and beauty. You would lose something if you read only one of these books without the other... Vizinczey's intelligence is so bracing, so contagious, that reading his books plunges you into a bath of joy for at least a week."

Philosophers and critics like to remind us that a literary work of art is a multi-layered creation. Children and adolescents tend to focus on one of the easily accessible layers or strata, the plot. The setting, pulse, and outcome of the narrative - Crusoe's island or D'Artagnan's adventures - are the main sources of their interest and delight. As they grow older, many of them acquire the habit of going beyond the tale and detect an authentic spiritual vision - a vision that expands and transforms their own way of seeing the world. There are, of course, some adult readers whose sensibility never reaches this stage.

Stephen Vizinczey's In Praise of Older Women, like all meaningful classic, can be truly appreciated if we learn to cleanse the doors of our perception and "read well". By adopting a more "literate" approach, we are not so much concerned with Hungary or Canada indigence or wealth, thirst for sensuality or "heavy virtue". Rather, we come to realize that the story is centered on the nature of communication between human beings, on the reason of its ultimate success or failure. If you look for a verbose, graphic, and "three-dimensional" narrative, Vizinczey is not your author. If you want to know how, today just as much as yesterday, people love, or think they love, someone, and why older women are more beautiful than the younger ones, read this humorous and truthful masterpiece.

I first wanted to read this book when I was in high school, however, my mother would not allow it. Stephen Vizinczey is a cousin of my father's and that is how I arrived at an interest in his work. After reading the book, now at the age of 28, I can understand why my mother would not allow me to read it at such a young age. The book revels in a young man's quest of sexual experiences and learnings with the opposite sex. It is not detailed in the sense of a steamy harlequin (thank goodness!). Instead, the book entails more of an open aired and very tasteful approach to the combined meaning of sex, relationships, and life. I disagree with some of the other reviews which regard the book as what it is like to be a young male in hungarian nationality. The book begins in that part of the world, however, being a first generation American from Hungarian descent, I believe that this book is true to the male species in any culture. The book is amusing and light hearted and is a must read no matter where you are from.

I have just read In Praise of Older Women for the second time. Many reviewers have drawn attention to the wisdom contained in this little book, which slyly presents itself as a breviary for young men without lovers. I am reluctant to insist on its status as "an erotic classic," for fear that to do so would confine it to a very narrow context. Indeed, the erotic scenes do not constitute the heart and soul of the story, nor do they even take up very much room. Rather, the book brings some very subtle psychological observations to bear on human relationships. Note, for example, the analysis of the "rapport des forces" between the older women and the younger hero. Zsuzsa, a "small, colourless woman," struggles to overcome her pride. Her coyness turns to compliance only when Vajda snaps at her, showing his passion (one recalls a scene in The Red and the Black: playing for somewhat higher stakes that Vajda, Julien tears a sword from the wall, imprudently displaying his passion before Mathilde, who briefly sees that he loves her). Other women aim stinging remarks at the young man only to succumb to his advances; or else they are guarded and surly the morning after, suspicious (and, in many case, rightly so) of the young Don Juan's motives. In another case, it is Vajda who is prideful. In his efforts to keep up with an energetic violinist whose relentless athletic pursuits and strange sleeping habits he takes as a challenge, the poor Casanova wears himself down to the bone. Vajda also writes of the anonymous onanists, versions of Dostoevsky's "underground man," who keep to themselves and satiate their erotic cravings in solitude. These misanthropes belong to the category of men who have not opened themselves up to women, who want to seduce and dominate the opposite sex, unlike Vajda, who looks on women as "accomplices." The book is a very strong and subtle critique of pride. When I think back on its contents, I remember not only the pleasant watercolors of Hungary and Rome, the descriptions of bodies and faces, and the maxims worthy of La Rochefoucauld ("Whatever is sanctioned by society as a principal good also becomes a moral imperative"), but also the wry humor that examines human interaction with sympathy and insight. While desire plays a large role in the recollections of the hero, the extent to which the author soars above his past is quite remarkable. To be invited to partake of his calm gaze is a pleasure worth repeating. One can read this book again without tiring of it.

The book was very well received in France. "Un bain de bonheur" was how one reviewer described it. How to account for its popularity in Europe (the book has been a best-seller in Spain and elsewhere I believe)? It is true that eroticism has been raised to the level of a value in France, which deploys its Catholic moeurs like scud missiles against a monolithic (and not wholly imaginary) American puritanism. Ideology aside, the fact remains that France knows how to appreciate good literature.

I see that the author himself has posted a review translated from the French. Good for him. America should know about the European point of view.

I am absolutely convinced that this is one of the few greatest books EVER written, in any country, in any language. It is definitely NOT "about young HUNGARIAN", as one of the previous reviewers has suggested. This is a book for all times and all nations. I believe this one belongs to the same top league as "The Red and the Black" by Stendahl, "The Master and Margarita" by Bulgakov, "A Farewell to Arms" by Hemingway to name the few. Apparently, this opinion is shared by 3 mln buyers around the world, who have read this book either in original English version (43 editions so far!) or in every major world's languages. Everywhere it's considered as "the modern classic". Everywhere... but not in America. Why? Just wait and see... My personal love-affair with this book sounds almost like a detective story. I smuggled this book into Soviet Union in 1968 risking the jail sentence - would they have found it at the customs. Because it was the biggest crime in the book - to bring into the "ideologically clean" (a.k.a. "politically correct") Soviet Union the book which is, first, "Anti-Soviet(?!)" and - even worth, hold your breath - SOOOOOOO EROTIC! Don't you remember that famous line: "There's NO SEX in the Soviet Union!?" In that stuffy, stagnating atmosphere of Communist "political correctness" - where everything which was fresh, lively, vibrant and true was strictly FORBIDDEN!- this book for me was like a breath of fresh air! I liked it so much that finally I've decided to translate it into Russian - without a trace of hope of ever publishing it, simply out of the enormous respect for its Author. (Mind it, I am NOT a professional interpreter. But I consider this work as one of my greatest personal achievements in life!) The Author is a genius. Why? Because he wrote abot ME and also about millions of guys like me who lived in every part of this world - without knowing us! That's why this book is forever, for all times and all nations. If I had a son, I would give him this book, saying: "One day you WILL fall in love. But after reading this book, I'm sure, you'll do it the RIGHT and PROPER way!" An eventual reader may ask: "If it is so good, why it is not THAT famous in America?" Ah, because IT IS POLITICALLY INCORRECT! It praises women like the greatest, the most wonderful God's creations - and NOT like an equal "fellow-citizens". If you have any gay-lesbian inclinations - stay away from it. If you are - God forbid! - feminists, stay away from it. (I recall one of my classmates, a nice girl, but not exactly popular and/or attractive: she was crying bitterly every time she heard someone referring to her - "She is ve-e-ery smart!" Which was true!) Yes, this book is "all about sex"; as much as Pushkin's "Queen of Spades" is "all about cards game" and Dostoyevsky's "The Gambler" is "all about gambling". It is all about LOVE and LIVE - and there's no other more important and fascinating subject in the whole world's literature! Bravo, Stephen Vizinczey, I hope we will all live to the day when - if for nothing else you've written - FOR THIS BOOK ALONE(!) you'll be awarded with the greatest honor in Literature!

I selected Vizinczey's novel from a booklist prepared for a course in Central European literature by Richard Teleky in Hungarian Rhapsodies, in the hopes that it would help my understanding of Eastern European thought. My hopes were realized. This novel contains the heart and soul of being Hungarian and the author gladly shares his story with us.

The novel is funny and poignant. Life is reflected in the mirror of Vizinczey's memories of Hungary's Communist past--a reflection of his lifetime brought to the reader with crisp wit and fun. His stories delight, such as the one about a student stampede that took place in Budapest 40 years ago. A student started the stampede by writing the most obscene word in the Hungarian language on the class chalkboard. The class began in a unison of young voices roaring the WORD to the class, the school, the city and thus giving heart attacks to enemies and friends alike. A small demonstration of freedom in a not totally free world.

In speaking of the oppressions of the past, Vizinczey tells us that Hungarians have a historic personality--that is, they think in centuries and millennia, to brace themselves against the deadly powers of the day. He reveals that their heads are full of calamities which failed to destroy them and that makes Hungarians restless, rebellious and full of stubborn pride no matter how often they are beaten. This pride revived the ancient battle cry, "Get on your feet, Magyar, it's now or never!" resulting in the most recent Revolution of 1956.

Most of the novel takes place in Europe but Vizinczey's riotous last chapters focus on North America. He tells us that the natives (Canadians) are just as human as people any place else, but they won't admit it unless they're drunk. "Canadians love money first, which is OK, but then comes liquor, then TV, hockey, then food. Sex is way down on the list. When you'd grab a girl, a Canadian grabs another drink. The place is full of fat men and unhappy women."

I have said little of Vizinczey's character, Andras Vajda and his many famous, educational sexual affairs with young and older women which are graphically related and a large part of the temperment of this Hungarian man. That is because I wanted to focus on other things the novel brings the reader--a rich and funny view of what it is like to be Hungarian. This book is a treasure.

As Andras Vajda recollects his sexual education growing up in post WWII Europe, Vizinczey allows the reader, as voyeur, a glimpse into the thoughts and emotions of a young boy tasting women for the very first time.

In Praise of Older Women is a beautiful novel. Not only did I enjoy the poignant and witty writing, but I will remember to give this book to my son as a sort of road map during his right of passage into manhood. It seems incredible that schools do not teach Vizinczey alongside Balzac and Nabokov, with whom he stands on equal footing.

My comment refers to the second FRENCH edition of this novel, paperback edition. I was curious to read comments of readers oversease and came to this site ...

I am a "post birth control pill, post university education, post career establishment and delusionment woman". Yet, I LOVED this novel and found these women so close to what we still are. Times have changed, life has become much easier for women - and maybe more difficult for men ? - but one thing has not changed : the relationship between men and women. When it comes to sexuality, men know exactly what they want, and from an early age, whereas women have to learn this gradually (if they are given a chance of course and are open to "learning" ...)This is why in 2006 you still find giggling silly teens like in S. Vicinzsey's book, adolescent older women (30 - 40, but also 40 - 50 ... Why should sexuality stop at ANY age ?), frigid younger women, and women of all ages who know what they want ! Nowadays most of the married women in the book Andras Vardas had a relationship with would get a divorce. However, they may first start with a lover and some will even chose to have a lover but not to divorce ... And of course this lover would look like Andras, a man who has learnt "not only to speak to women but also to listen to them." So have times changed? Hardly.

The book takes the form of a series of small adventures, one in each chapter on the background of Stalinistic and opressed but sexualy liberated Hungary in the 1950s and poltically free but puritan Canada. The anecdotes and the historical perspective enhance the interest of the stories.

This is why it is a wonderful little unpretentious book, not a milestone of the world literature (this is why I dump one star), yet a book to recommend for reading to anybody interested in men - women relationships, what erotism is all about.

This utterly charming and beguiling novel will be treasured by anyone who has ever been in love- or who would like to be someday. It can be returned to again and again with pleasure- and on each reading you will find new morsels of wisdom to savor. Vizinczey's wonderful book will entrance and instruct and entertain anyone fortunate enough to encounter it. Do yourself a favor and give this one a chance.