Product Details
Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
|
|
Share your thoughts with other customers:
|
||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Very terrifying intro for a sixth-grader.,
This review is from: Preparing for Adolescence (Paperback)
I am an adult woman in my early 30s, and a teacher. I have very strong feelings about the impact this book had on my own development, as it was my first (and main) intro to sexuality as a 6th grader in 1992, provided by well-meaning Christian parents.
To be fair, I am reviewing the 1992 edition of "Preparing for Adolescence: Caution Changes Ahead," published by Tyndale House, not the recent updated editions. That said, this book was my introduction to my sexuality, and as a high-achieving Christian child with high levels of anxiety in other areas of my young life, this book taught me to fear and dread something that I knew nothing about: The sex act, and by extension, relationships and my own body. I didn't know anything about dating, relationships, etc., and this book taught me little or nothing about that, but it taught me that whatever sex was, it was something with Irrevocable Damaging Consequences that would inevitably lead to: a. Loss of self-esteem forever, especially as a woman b. Loss of acceptability in God's eyes (you'd be forgiven, but always damaged) c. Danger of STDs and death, regardless of safer sex practices or non-penetrative acts (which were not discussed) d. The author made the ridiculous statement that when a romantic/sexual relationship ends, the person often becomes cold and callous as a person, or something to that effect. I was terrified of such a personality change. Several statements made in this book, with which I disagree to the strongest possible degree: -"If you do get AIDS, you have received a death sentence." (Basically true in 1992, but the term "death sentence" implies a judgment and a punishment of execution, rather than as a tragic consequence of a hasty action). --"There is no safe sex, just as there is no safe sin." Wow. The judgment and terror promoted by this statement need no elaboration. However, I believed it as a devout sixth grader, and was terrified of my own desires, being "tricked" by my own body, etc. Also, teen feelings of "love" were described as "infatuation," which is often true, but not always. Love was supposed to be sacrificial, not pleasurable, is the idea that I learned. Pleasure was supposedly selfish. Even love was not to be trusted. It too was a trick! Whenever I felt like I might like somebody, I often questioned it as not being real, since I wouldn't sacrifice myself for them (!) --(On the risks of sex): "Girls are the bigger losers." (Obviously true, since girls have the risk of pregnancy and social stigma. Ironically, Dr. D helps to maintain said social stigma by saying that guys brag, and that women bear all the pain and shame. He makes it seem like this is not just the common outcome in school, but the *natural consequence* for females, which will not change. He doesn't mention resiliency or the ability to recover from having one's heart broken.) --The dismissive statement that "Homosexuality...reflects deep problems, but it doesn't happen very often and it isn't likely to happen to you." (Intended to reassure straight teens). I am not gay, but I find this statement ridiculous. What about the teens reading the book who genuinely are gay, or do have same-sex attractions? -The idea that God has, for our own good, put the "no-sex-before-marriage" rule into place (which incidentally does not actually exist as such in the Bible) for our own protection. It doesn't even matter if the couple is in a committed relationship, or even if it is an *adult couple*, not a teen couple. It doesn't count. It will end, there will be pain, etc. As Dr. D is a well-meaning father, I can see that he understandably wants to protect young teens from the consequences of hasty decisions with lifelong consequences. It's true. Teen sex is almost always a bad idea, especially with no protective measures such as birth control and barriers. I agree that teens ideally should delay intercourse until they are able to understand the consequences and take full responsibility for all the risks, hopefully at least until after age 18. However, not all teens will take his advice to wait til marriage. (Marriage seems like *for-ev-er* when you are 13!) He gives them no options for harm reduction, and implies that adult relationships (outside of marriage) are equally harmful. To be fair, the book makes good points about the transitory and cyclical nature of teen emotions, and it was definitely comforting to hear that emotions are cyclical, tending to go "from high to low to high to low." In other words, terror or depression would not last forever. Dr. D. was also remarkably and surprisingly realistic and even-handed about masturbation's harmlessness. Also, Dr. D. definitely understands the pain of being isolated or ridiculed by peers. I definitely appreciated his realistic descriptions of peer pressure and self-esteem. But another book could do just as well on these fronts. Pass on this one. If you are looking for a Christian book on sexuality, please find a more even-handed, realistic, and comprehensive intro for your child. Thank you for reading.
Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
|
|
Tag this product(What's this?)Think of a tag as a keyword or label you consider is strongly related to this product.
Tags will help all customers organize and find favorite items. |
