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Present Perfect: A Mindfulness Approach to Letting Go of Perfectionism and the Need for Control [Paperback]

Pavel Somov
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)

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Book Description

June 3, 2010
While there's no doubt that setting high standards for yourself is a good thing, you've probably already noticed that perfectionism can come at a high price. And when you take steps to try to change, it's easy to beat yourself up and fall into the same traps that keep you feeling stressed and disappointed. This book presents a revolutionary approach to overcoming perfectionism-a way to transform your need for precision into self-acceptance, compassion, and love for each perfectly imperfect passing moment in our lives. In Present Perfect, you'll use the Buddhist psychology of mindfulness to learn to accept the present moment in all of its ordinary perfection. This book is filled with over 150 exercises and meditations that you can practice to become more flexible toward yourself and others without losing your love of a job well done. With this compassionate approach, you'll soon be able not only to accept life as it is, but also become more accepting and forgiving of yourself and others.

This brilliant and practical new book is designed to help alleviate the excess stress and dissatisfaction of perfectionism, one of the main practices of the extremely popular, if unheralded, religion I lovingly call Control Freakism. Pavel Somov gives us numerous helpful awareness exercises, conscious inquiries, insights, mindfulness practices, original perspectives, and penetrating ideas, all conducive to helping us free ourselves from this tyrannical inner demon and experience the radiant reality of things just as they are. Acceptance has its own transformative magic, and I heartily recommend this work to all who want to transform, awaken, and edify.

Lama Surya Das, founder of Dzogchen Meditation Centers and author of Awakening the Buddha Within

Even those of us with a lot of self-help reading under our belts will experience many a-ha moments while immersed in Present Perfect. Somov s approach is highly logical, creative, resourceful, and compassionate. Never once will you feel judged; instead, you ll feel understood. I highly recommend this valuable resource to therapists and anyone with perfectionist tendencies.

Dina Cheney, author of Tasting Club and Williams-Sonoma's New Flavors for Salads

Rarely does a work of art like Present Perfect fall upon one's desk. This book allows us to transform existential pain caused by our need to be perfect. This book is abundant with tools and ideas that equip the reader to resolve guilt, shame, and perfectionism. Once you accept and surrender your perfectionism, the magical paradox of mindfulness as a healer will unfold.

Ronald A. Alexander, Ph.D., executive director of the Open Mind Training Institute and author of Wise Mind, Open Mind

Pavel Somov offers an intelligent, witty, and compassionate critique of perfectionism and makes a compelling case that life is already perfect. I found this book to be thoroughly enjoyable and personally and professionally useful from the first page. I feel as comfortable recommending this book to my colleagues as I do to my patients and am confident that both will find it of tremendous value in their lives. Since perfectionism is often the other side of compulsive and addictive behavior, this book will be relevant to all who seek more moderation and balance in their lives.

Andrew Tatarsky, Ph.D., clinical psychologist in New York City specializing in treating addictive behavior and author of Harm Reduction Psychotherapy

Frequently Bought Together

Present Perfect: A Mindfulness Approach to Letting Go of Perfectionism and the Need for Control + Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control + When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism
Price for all three: $41.74

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Perfectionism is endemic to modern Western culture, and exacts a hefty psychological price. People are increasingly dissatisfied with their performance, hypercritical of their peers, and undone by the slightest hint of failure. Somov argues that by applying some Buddhist-minded psychological tactics, people can let go of their pathological perfectionism and improve their lives, jobs, and relationships. While some of his advice is superb and crucial for people who are too hard on themselves and others, much of it has extremely limited practical applications; oddly, Somov's advice seems to exist outside effective participation in modern society. While some of what he says - be mindful of tasks, focus on one thing at a time - is sound, readers may finally ask, "But how can I successfully do this and perform well in my career or life?" This is not the question that a self-help book wants its readers to have to ask. Better integrating the advice would have been a vast improvement; as it stands, Present Perfect feels more useful as a guide to the idealized reality that Somov counsels his readers against.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

“This brilliant and practical new book is designed to help alleviate the excess stress and dissatisfaction of perfectionism, one of the main practices of the extremely popular, if unheralded, religion I lovingly call Control Freakism. Pavel Somov gives us numerous helpful awareness exercises, conscious inquiries, insights, mindfulness practices, original perspectives, and penetrating ideas, all conducive to helping us free ourselves from this tyrannical inner demon and experience the radiant reality of things just as they are. Acceptance has its own transformative magic, and I heartily recommend this work to all who want to transform, awaken, and edify.”
— Lama Surya Das, founder of Dzogchen Meditation Centers and author of Awakening the Buddha Within



“Rarely does a work of art like Present Perfect fall upon one’s desk. This book allows us to transform existential pain caused by our need to be perfect. This book is abundant with tools and ideas that equip the reader to resolve guilt, shame, and perfectionism. Once you accept and surrender your perfectionism, the magical paradox of mindfulness as a healer will unfold.”
— Ronald A. Alexander, Ph.D., executive director of the Open Mind Training Institute and author of Wise Mind, Open Mind



“Even those of us with a lot of self-help reading under our belts will experience many a-ha moments while immersed in Present Perfect. Somov’s approach is highly logical, creative, resourceful, and compassionate. Never once will you feel judged; instead, you’ll feel understood. I highly recommend this valuable resource to therapists and anyone with perfectionist tendencies.”
— Dina Cheney, author of Tasting Cluband Williams-Sonoma’s New Flavors for Salads



Present Perfect takes a wholly fresh look at an age-old problem by applying a generous dose of the healing salve of mindfulness. Filled with fascinating references and down-to-earth examples, this book skillfully guides the reader through exercises and strategies that can transform the paralyzing and demoralizing pattern of perfectionism. Present Perfect is the perfect way to liberate yourself from the guilt, shame, and blame of perfectionism and rediscover the freedom of living in the ‘what is.’”
— Donald Altman, psychotherapist, former Buddhist monk, and author of The Mindfulness Code



“Pavel Somov offers an intelligent, witty, and compassionate critique of perfectionism and makes a compelling case that life is already perfect. I found this book to be thoroughly enjoyable and personally and professionally useful from the first page. I feel as comfortable recommending this book to my colleagues as I do to my patients and am confident that both will find it of tremendous value in their lives. Since perfectionism is often the other side of compulsive and addictive behavior, this book will be relevant to all who seek more moderation and balance in their lives.”
— Andrew Tatarsky, Ph.D., clinical psychologist in New York City specializing in treating addictive behavior and author of Harm Reduction Psychotherapy



“In this book, Somov not only provides a plethora of highly accessible and instantly applicable ways to connect with mindful awareness, but also provides lucid and rational ways to dethrone the inner tyrant of perfectionism and fully live in the completeness of each moment.”
— Cassandra Vieten, Ph.D., director of research at the Institute of Noetic Sciences and author of Mindful Motherhood



“Licensed psychologist Somov has found that clients can make progress in the areas of tolerating uncertainty, refraining from harsh self-judgment, and reducing anxious feelings by doing mindfulness exercises. Essentially, the more they accept the moment, thhe more they can accept themselves.
Verdict: Present Perfect, one of the most helpful in the OCPD self-help arena.”
Deborah Bigelow, Leonia P.L., NJ


Product Details

  • Paperback: 208 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (June 3, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1572247568
  • ISBN-13: 978-1572247567
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #150,363 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Pavel G. Somov, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist in private practice.

Publications:

Somov, P. G. (2008)
A Psychodrama Group for Substance Use Relapse Prevention Training. The Arts in Psychotherapy, 38, 151-161.

Somov, P.G. (2007).
Meaning of Life Group: Group Application of Logotherapy for Substance Use Treatment.
Journal for Specialists in Group Work, 32 (4), 316 - 345.

Somov, P.G. (2000)
Time Perception as a Measure of Pain Intensity and Pain Type. Journal of Back & Musculoskeletal Rehabilitation, 14 (3), 111-121.

Education:

State University of New York at Buffalo: Ph.D., Counseling Psychology

Professional Affiliations:

Member of the American Psychological Association (APA)
Member of the Greater Pittsburgh Psychological Association (GPPA)
Member of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association (PPA)

Military Service:

Independent Special Purpose Motorized Rifle Brigade (OMSBON) of the Ministry of Interior of the Soviet Union (1987-1989)



Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
(12)
4.6 out of 5 stars
This book literally changed my life. mountaingoat8  |  3 reviewers made a similar statement
I found this book very interesting. Allyoz  |  2 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Learning To Accept What Is September 19, 2010
Format:Paperback
Everyone who suffers the discrepancy between what they want and what actually exists moment by moment has something important to gain from reading Pavel Somov's illuminating book Present Perfect. Far more than a compelling antidote to perfectionism per se, Somov's book actually shows us how to escape the "holodeck" of our endless worries about the future in order to find the real perfection that exists right now. If you have been looking for a way to learn to enjoy just being, think Present Perfect, and then stop thinking. Always original, always experiential, Somov reveals the subtle and deep truth that to find the gem at our feet we absolutely have to stop kicking it down the road. Highly recommended.
~Andrew P. Yake, PhD
Licensed Psychologist
Was this review helpful to you?
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars What an impact! February 14, 2011
By knup11
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
First, let me say that within reading the first chapter of this book it was already making an impact on my thinking and thus my life in a positive way. Of all the titles relating to perfection I found on Amazon, I gravitated toward this one because I already practice mindfulness and meditation. With that said, one does not need to have any familiarity with mindfulness to delve into this book. Somov does a wonderful job of introducing the reader to the concept.

The premise of the book, in a nut shell, is learning to accept each moment as it is, and understanding that no moment can be more than what it is. In essence, each moment is already perfect. Somov demonstrates this concept through many small exercises throughout the book. I will admit that I did pick and choose the exercises I completed because there were so many.

I really appreciated this book because I found it so applicable. You know it's a good book when you feel like the author is describing you in the text! The author's lessons stuck with me, I found myself being able to apply his wisdom throughout the day (yet another sign of a good book!). I wish I could be less vague in my description; however, I found that the lessons were so deep and meaningful, I don't think I could do them justice in this review. This book has brought new perspective into my life and I highly recommend that anyone struggling with control and perfection to give it a read.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars present perfect September 12, 2012
By sam
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I bought book this book because it was recommended. Some of the issues advertised were things I wanted to understand about myself. The author does, in my limited view, do a good job of helping the reader to look at them self in a way which I found enlightening. It's much easier to fix something if you know what you are facing. Having said that, I found some of the remedies if you want to call them that, a little bit "out there". Now having said that, I'm a very technically oriented person and I am not a believer in any sort of spiritualism so that may cloud my openness to this kind of thinking.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Great prescription for perfectionism
This book has greatly improved my life in just the week I spent reading it. Rather than working on behavior and outcomes, it fights perfectionism at its core: improper thoughts. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Richie Castle
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow
Really great book for learning about being a perfectionist and how to just let it be. The lightbulb goes on. Read more
Published 5 months ago by RuthAnn
4.0 out of 5 stars Havent read it yet
Delivered on time. Have not cracked open the cover so I will update when I get to reading it. For right now thge only thing I can say is it was delivered on time. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Scubavet
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful Book for those looking for inner peace
I picked up this book as part of my plan to recover from my eating disorder and I cannot tell you how much this book helped with life in general. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Health Nut
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommend!
It just so happens that I have been trying to meditate, learning the ropes. I love that this book utilized meditation, and the philosophy behind it. Read more
Published 8 months ago by JC
4.0 out of 5 stars Good Theory
I found this book very interesting. It was easy to read and very revealing about perfectionistic tendencies. I identified with almost all of it. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Allyoz
5.0 out of 5 stars This is an AMAZING book!!
Written is every-day plain language that is easy to understand for us newbies!! This book brings peace to my heart every time. Worth every penny, well worth the investment.
Published 13 months ago by Michelle M
4.0 out of 5 stars Has "Hiccups," but Shouldn't Cause Undue Indigestion
PP =is= a terrific book. You =should= buy it. Regardless of what I have to say. But here =is= what I have to say:

Dr. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Rodger Garrett
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing!!!
This book literally changed my life. In the best ways. And the changes have STUCK. The author's uniquely resonant voice hit home in every way imaginable. Read more
Published 22 months ago by mountaingoat8
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