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The Pressured Child: Helping Your Child Find Success in School and Life
 
 
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The Pressured Child: Helping Your Child Find Success in School and Life [Hardcover]

Michael Thompson Ph.D. (Author), Teresa Barker (Author)
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)


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Book Description

August 3, 2004
The push for students to excel at school and get into the best colleges has never been more intense. In this invaluable new book, the bestselling co-author of Raising Cain addresses America’s performance-driven obsession with the accomplishments of its kids–and provides a deeply humane response.
“How was school?” These three words contain a world of desire on the part of parents to know what their children are learning and experiencing in school each day. Children may not divulge much, but psychologist Michael Thompson suggests that the answers are there if we know how to read the clues and–equally important–if we remember our own school days.
School, Thompson reminds us, occupies more waking hours than kids spend at home; and school is full not just of studies but of human emotion–excitement, fear, envy, love, anger, sexuality, boredom, competitiveness. Through richly detailed interviews, case histories, and student e-mail journals, including those of his own children, Thompson illuminates the deeper psychological journey that school demands, a journey that all children must take in order to grow and develop, whether they are academic aces or borderline dropouts. Most of us remember this journey, if we are honest with ourselves, but our children must experience it in their own way, for better or worse.

In stories that are by turns poignant, shocking, uplifting, and inspiring, we see students grapple with the textured reality of their lives, devising their own unique strategies to survive and thrive in school. For parents, this book reveals the hidden emotional landscape of the school day and points toward the answers we both desire and dread as we seek to help our children find success in school and beyond.
Bridging the worlds of the growing and the grown-up, and told in Thompson’s compassionate voice as both psychologist and father, The Pressured Child shows us how to listen for the truth of our children’s experience–and how to trust, love, and ultimately let go of a child. It is a crucial book for our stressful age–and an ideal resource for families struggling to survive it.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Few questions have been uttered more frequently by parents than "How was school today?" And few questions have been met with more blank stares, shrugs, lies or unhappy truths. In this compelling follow-up to the now-classic Mom, They're Teasing Me, Thompson attempts to put parents "back in touch with the gritty reality of being a child in school," prompting them to recall their own school memories: was it boring, scary, exciting or painful? This, Thompson believes, will help them better comprehend their children's experiences and support them more effectively. Despite the title, Thompson says this book is for "the pressured parent, which is every loving parent, no matter what kind of student your child is." With the demands of standardized tests, the fear of failing school systems and baggage from their own academic pasts, Thompson says, parents' concern about their children's educational welfare is ballooning into panic. As Thompson shadows several students from diverse backgrounds through their school days, a rather mundane—but significant—reality emerges: school is a difficult, unavoidable part of life, but parents can help by being calm, empathic and engaged. Though short on practical strategies, the book sheds light on what goes on behind classroom doors and urges parents to "value the truth of a child's experiences."
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Psychologist Thompson and journalist Barker, collaborators on Raising Cain (2000), offer advice to parents and educators on how to help children cope with the ever-increasing pressures of school and life. Based on interviews with children, parents, and teachers and--most revealing--shadowing students at school, the authors present a portrait of children facing the usual pressures of growing up with the added pressures of a fast-paced modern American culture. The authors lament that so much emphasis is placed on academic performance that parents and educators too often ignore the psychological aspects. On the surface, students present the usual preoccupations with friends and grades. But, as the authors detail here, there is a lot going on beneath the surface as students scratch good-bye messages into the locker of a boy who was killed in a car accident and students express cynicism about whether their teachers really care about them. In this absorbing look at modern childhood, the authors advise parents to get beyond their romantic and selective memories of school years to understand the pressures facing their children. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books; First Edition edition (August 3, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0345450124
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345450128
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #549,641 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

7 Reviews
5 star:
 (3)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (2)
2 star:    (0)
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Average Customer Review
4.1 out of 5 stars (7 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A must for parents, October 24, 2004
By 
Wendy Macneill (Columbia Falls, MT USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Pressured Child: Helping Your Child Find Success in School and Life (Hardcover)
No matter how involved you are with your child, it can be impossible to truly understand what is going on inside his/her school. This book gives parents a valuable look at what our children are dealing with every day. Mr. Thompson tells individual stories from the kids' viewpoints--extremely helpful. I saw my own child in his example of a boy who is "allergic" to school....and reading about this boy was like looking into the future. If I have any complaint, it is that the author didn't discuss the option of homeschooling as a positive alternative for some children like this. For those of us without many school options (no money, living rurally), his suggestion for finding a "better fit" in other school situations, did not apply. Our "allergic" son is doing great with homeschooling now and after reading "The Pressured Child" I'm even more committed to trying to keep him at home where he can learn to love learning....not dread school. Even if you have a child who has a "school brain" (as Thompson calls it) you should read this book to see how your successful child is actually getting through his/her day. I should note this isn't an "anti-public school" book-- but more of a look inside the schools so you can understand...and decide if your school is a good fit for your particular child. Fascinating reminder for all of us who have been out of school for a long time!!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Resource for Educators or Parents, August 19, 2005
By 
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: The Pressured Child: Helping Your Child Find Success in School and Life (Hardcover)
Michael Thompson has an easy writing style and salient points to make in this latest book on pressured children. In the spirit of "A Tribe Apart" (Hersch) he shadows days in the lives of students and draws some worthwhile and meaty conclusions. His background in psychology gives credibility to his analysis; his readable prose will reach a wide audience. As a middle school principal we will use this book with parents in our Book Club; working in an international school in southeast Asia a book about "pressured children" is most appropriate.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars Not what I was hoping for...., October 11, 2008
I almost purchased this book because it looked really good but found it at the library first. I am glad I did not purchase this book because I was expecting tips on how to help my kids. I did not really find this at all. It was just stories and stories and stories of kids in school.
Okay, so I get the stories and it did bring me back to my painful childhood and school memories but what are your suggestions to me to help my children be successful and confident in school and in life now?
Even the last Wisdom chapter did not give anything to really help.
Not was I expected.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
The question "How was school today?" Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
school brain, school journey, college admissions process
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
United States, Notre Dame, Signora Cognati, Forest Hills, Boston Arts Academy, Kensington High School, Boston Evening Academy, Belmont Hill, Eliot School, Erik Erikson, Nativity Prep, Father Smith, Linda Nathan, Rocky Mountain Academy, Sage School, The Scarlet Letter, The Strategy
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