Customer Reviews

Pretty Maids All in a Row [VHS]

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

An odd, (and hardly publicized) little black-comedy/bedroom farce written and produced by STAR TREK creator Gene Roddenberry and directed by Roger Vadim (AND GOD CREATED WOMAN, BARBARELLA). One could understand Vadim involved with this piece of light-hearted sleaze, but Roddenberry? Boasting a great and diverse cast with Rock Hudson, Angie Dickinson..., Telly Savalas, Roddy McDowell, Keenan Wynn, and James Doohan (Star Trek's Mr. Scotty himself), the film has dark humor, [love]situations, and a murder mystery to boot. Rock Hudson, in one of his weirder and misogynistic roles, plays a coach/counselor (Tiger) at a western university. He's bedding some of the college ... coed's, killing them when they want commitment, and leaves their bodies strewn along various parts of the university (a far cry from his characters in films with Doris Day). An on-campus investigation (headed by Telly Savalas as Capt. Sam Surcher) begins and Tiger is the prime suspect. In the meantime, one of his students, Ponce (John Carson) is having a tough time scoring with girls. Tiger (Hudson) is willing to give the young man some advice. Then, enlists the help of Miss Smith (Dickinson) to help Ponce along but gets (and gives) more than she bargains for. Much of the humor is the relationship of Hudson's and Dickinson's characters in the film when helping out Ponce (Carson), and the weirder humor comes when Tiger (Hudson) is "sampling" the coeds. The film is slightly entertaining. Satirical at times with it's point of view of women and the education system. However, it is mostly worth watching just to see these actors play against type. A curiosity from the man who created STAR TREK. Note: Look for actress Joanna Cameron (as Yvonne), one of Hudson's ...co-ed/victims. She played ISIS - - in the Saturday morning live action kid's show part of the SHAZAM (Captain Marvel) hour. Also, William L. Campbell has a supporting role as a sheriff deputy (Grady). He played one of Star Trek's (orig. series) memorable alien villains, Trelane from the 1967 episode "The Squire of Gothos."

Oh, give me a break! I happen to really enjoy this movie because it is funny and it is a movie. Almost every complaint makes it appear as if it was more than just a movie. What's wrong?

This is a rare film and because of the story content it will probably never get release on DVD. It's a comedy, not a political correct idea that every person is trying to live by today.

One letter stated that Rock Hudson character rape these girls. Rape? I would advise this person to watch this movie again. These girls were enjoying the sex they were having not screaming and yelling for help.

This movie was meant to entertain not to focus on somebody's politically correct concept. If you don't like the movie don't watch it!

Roger Vadim's twisted satire of Southern California and the American education program was a flop on first release, and it was a long time before he dared return to the USA to make another feature. But today PRETTY MAIDS ALL IN A ROW definitely has the hallmarks of a masterpiece, anchored by four brilliant performances. First off, Rock Hudson in perhaps his last important picture. He's a little fleshy and with his shirt off the camera seemes reluctant to travel past his navel for fear of exposing some extra weight on his hips. And Vadim's cameraman (Chuck Rosher, who later did A WEDDING and THREE WOMEN for Robert Altman) hones in on some penetrating closeups which really show up his crows feet--he's lived and that seasons his character. As usual, he's the men girls want and the man boys want to be, but here it's a deeper and considerably darker version of himself than he ever let people see on the screen. His ideal married life is something of a sham, or is it? A cryptic epilogue with Telly Savalas makes us wonder if "Tiger" hasn't really the perfect marriage after all. Vadim needed a larger-than-life star for "Tiger" and he certainly got one.

Matching him at every stroke is the young John David Carson, the boy who can't seem to get a date and walks around with a clipboard covering his arousal at all times. Carson plays "Ponce de Leon Harper" as though to remind us of his own perpetual fountain of youth. Whatever happened to this actor? He goes from boy to man in a series of believable, subtle segues; and let me tell you, it can't have been easy playing the kid whom Rock Hudson takes under his wing. Carson makes it all look easy. It's a graceful, vibrant acting job, like a young James Stewart could have turned in (if Stewart were allowed erections in the cinema of the mid 1930s).

Angie Dickinson has never been better. She's super sexy, charming, very funny, brainy and extremely elegant, like Kay Kendall, especially in her toga-style hostess gown with the slits in its side that go all the way up her armpits. These were the Bacharach years for Angie Dickinson, and if rueful acknowledgement of her unavailability, when she first appears, a little Bacharach-like phrase erupts in Lalo Schifrin's playful and ultimately moving score. Can you imagine being Angie Dickinson at this time? She had just finished THE CHASE and POINT BLANK, and meanwhile was the inspiration for some of the most stylish and passionate music of the century; no wonder she looks like the kitten with cream on her face. Vadim doesn't let her drop a beat, even during the scene which every other actress would find humiliating (when Hudson pretends that he's pretending to make love with her, then drops her claiming it was all a pedagogic exercise). Angie Dickinson just picks herself up and walks away taller than ever.

Finally, Barbara Leigh as Jean McDrew, Tiger's wife. We had just seen CROSSROADS with William Powell and Hedy Lamarr, said to have been the first film to come up with the "meet cute" gambit you've since seen in a hundred pictures, where the guy seems to be meeting the girl for the first time and takes what seems to be alarming liberties with her--and she goes right along with them--and then in a minute or two you realize, oh, they're actually married people, just playing. Well, Barbara Leigh could have invented this game. She's as foxy as Hedy Lamarr and, like Hedy, seems capable of actually forgetting the face of her own husband. Every day must be a delight when you're Barbara Leigh. By the way if you care about the movies you must read Miss Leigh's autobiography THE KING, McQUEEN, AND THE LOVE MACHINE.

A huge array of young, talented actresses play the victims, girlfriends and fellow students of Tiger, Ponce, and Miss Smith. People have called this film "misogynist." I don't know. To me it's like Aimee Eccles (the Eurasian actress who plays Hilda Lee) tells shrewd top cop Telly Savalas in the movie, "It's all about love."

Wish I could add a star just for the jaunty theme song sung by the Osmonds, "Chilly Winds." It's demented and you will love it!

The initial reaction one has to "Pretty Maids All In A Row" is what deep dark secrets did Rock Hudson threaten to expose or what favors did he have to "call in" in order to have co-stars Angie Dickenson, Roddy McDowall, Telly Savalas and Keenan Wynn appear in this film. The premise of this "dark comedy" is "free love" for all, which includes high school teachers having sex with their students. This, mind you, is viewed as a positive activity throughout the film. A problem arises, however, when one of the teachers (Rock) starts murdering the nubile young teenagers who don't understand the concept of open relationships and who want to get too serious. Angie Dickenson plays a lustful but frustrated young teacher who has a crush on Rock's character but is persuaded by him to seduce the school nerd for their mutual benifit -- an activity she eventually becomes quite enthusiastic about. The film ends with the murderer/hero having escaped justice, the newly popular nerd hitting on Rock's ex-lovers (all female) and Angie sitting in a church pew with a her next student/conquest's hand up her skirt! Actually, the film has a number of very funny moments and it is a good example of a type of male-chauvanistic pre-HIV sex-comedy that, while popular in the mid to late '60s and early '70s, could never be made by a major studio today. Nevertheless, one wonders what was going through the actors minds as they made this one. END

I suppose the '70s promoters of this thing thought there was some sort of serious "message" in satirizing the importance of football against the backdrop of sexy coeds being murdered.

I'm a bit of a Roger Vadim fan since his movies tend to emphasize pretty girls. This movie has lots of pretty girls, mostly in short skirts. One of the earliest scenes is a boy walking towards the school as a girl in front of him bends over to pick up her books. At that time in fashion history, skirts were so short that girls *never* bent over, except in movies (see "Smile").

This was filmed at my high school, University High, in West Los Angeles in the summer of 1971. I was taking summer classes and remember the distraction of the film crews and actors on the campus, especially the hot-looking maids. The film begins with John Carson Geekily riding a motor scooter down San Vicente Blvd in Santa Monica, and around the streets near the bluffs in Pacific Palisades. Almost entirely filmed on the University campus, classrooms, hallways, bathrooms. I made some cash as an "extra", in the "Oceanfront High" Marching Band scene (football field) which was filmed at the Rancho-Cienega Sports Complex at 5001 Rodeo Rd. in Los Angeles. They changed the UH (Uni High)on the shoulder of the band uniforms to OH (Oceanfront High), and on the band hats for the movie. These were the actual school band uniforms, ugly orange and probably from the late fifties or early sixties. The band scene is probably less than 5 seconds. When school resumed in the Fall, most of the band members wore the "OH" on the uniforms as a souvenir. The movie is very 70's and you can feel it. Who knew Rock Hudson was more interested in Ponce de Leon than the Pretty Maids? Different. Worth a look.

Three great performances (Rock, Angie, Telly) keep this sexually charged ship afloat, plus some terrific period cinematography.

Rock Hudson especially must be commended for not "throwing away" his part in this not exactly career enhancing deal. Vadim's lens closes in on Rock whose expressions sometimes have to carry the sometimes loose and limp script - though it is a notable as strong effort by Gene Roddenberry, with very credible and colorful dialogue.

"Tiger" McDrew is the High School Football Coach/Hippie Philosopher whose teaching methodology is a bit more (pause) "hands on" than some even in the heart of the Woodstock Era. He believes in being extra demonstrative in his communication, let's say, and encourages his favorite pupil, his issued-up but good looking understudy, to pursue special help with Angie Dickenson as the recently divorced but somewhat "inexperienced" [apparent] Permanent Substitute Teacher, Mrs. Smith, whose sexuality appears to be limited to short skirts in class and a sense of satisfaction from knowing she is a stone head-turner in them.
It's not clear if McDrew manipulates both parties so as to get her experienced enough for him to accomplish his speedy little interludes in his office with the least amount of romance. Whatever the director and writer were thinking, the mystery actually helps the plotline.
Keenan Wynn plays a "Campus Cop" [job title vague] in a role highly reminiscent of his great work in Dr. Strangelove. His by-the-book [of which he never got through the introduction and parts of the index] analysis of the crime scenes at the school is the perfect counterbalance to Police Inspector Telly Savalas' relaxed and rational approach.

Some major lost opportunities in the script for some big laughs and one wierd production flaw. Though McDrew always engages his "Testing" red light then locks his door while he...counsels, he never draws those blinds. Okay, if he knows the word is out and h might as well welcome the use of binoculars, what's with the false warning light and lock?

A wonderfully goofy dark comedy with Hudson giving a terrific performance. Interesting to note that not only does the cast have Jimmy Doohan and William Campbell, it was also produced by Gene Roddenberry! I actually saw this when I was in high school. Would you trust your teenage daughter to this counselor?

I was allowed into the theater to see this when I was 14, almost 15, and the lady at the ticket booth said, "Hmmmm....OK." My friend was just over 16, I think, so he might have been underage as well. Anyway, I recommend this movie for anyone who likes 1960's period pieces. Love the music, the sunny innocence mixed with naughty naughtiness, the tongue-in-cheek performances, the high school upskirts, Angie Dickinson. Just another movie that makes you wonder why it has not seen the digital light of day yet.

Well, so am I. I saw this movie at a drive in when it was first released. Now knowing about Rock Hudson takes a bit of lustre and believeablity out of the movie, but, hey, what did I know (or care) in the 70's? I found it interesting that one of the songs on the movie was by the (other Jackson 5) Osmonds (Chilly Winds)! Looking back at it now, the whole movie was pretty ridiculous but it was still entertaining. I'm glad I found a copy so I could relive my teenage moments...