Pretzel Logic [Paperback]

Lisa A. Rogak (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 1999

What would you do if your spouse woke up one day and told you he was gay?

Emily Spencer lived in Coventry, New Hampshire, with her husband Michael, where they published a weekly newspaper and were, by all accounts, happy.

However, after a few years, Michael began to change; he grew quieter and more sullen. The more Emily pressed for an answer, the more he resisted. Finally, one day, she learned her husband's secret: Michael was gay.

What follows in Pretzel Logic is at turns bittersweet and hysterically funny as Emily and Michael learn to deal with their own truths. Recent movies like "In and Out" and "The Object of my Affection" have only skimmed the surface. Pretzel Logic, written by a woman who's been there, is the first story to tell it like it is.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Pretzel Logic is one of those rare novels that speaks the truth. With humor and pathos, insight and fairness, Rogak examines a tragic dilemma without ever losing sight of her characters' humanity. Pretzel Logic forces the reader to think twice about sexual orientation, what makes a good marriage work, and what is worth fighting for. It is not a story you have read before. But it is a story people will be talking about for quite some time. -- M.J. Rose, author of Lip Service

Crisply written with a keen sense of place and vivid action, Pretzel Logic brings to life one wife's struggle to understand when her husband turns out to be gay. -- Amity Pierce Buxton, Ph.D., author of The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families

From the Author

Since I discovered I was married to a man who was gay in 1997, two years into our marriage, I was amazed to see how widespread this issue really is. Chances are that you know a couple whose marriage has broken up due to the coming-out of one of the spouses.

When I first went to look for information on the subject of straight spouses (should be an oxymoron!), I was disappointed to see how little actually existed. I found a couple of books, notably Amity Pierce Buxton's book Amity Pierce Buxton, Ph.D., author of The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families, but compared to the amount of information and support that existed for the people who were just beginning to explore their sexuality--arms wide open in welcome, actually--it might as well have been nonexistent.

Enter the Internet. There's a website and mailing list for anyone, regardless of their interest, and this was the case with a mailing list devoted to men and women all over the world who were dealing with the trauma of discovering that the wives and husbands they thought they knew--in some cases, married to for more than 30 years--were hiding a terrible secret: they were gay.

I became obsessed with checking my email, to hearing the ongoing stories of people just like me who were dealing with the same issue. I was in heaven. And then we started to meet, to schedule face-to-face meetings. Two years after first meeting a listmate for coffee, and countless others since, I can count these people among my closest friends. And they encouraged me to write Pretzel Logic, as a way to get our stories out to a world that is largely ignorant of the issues of trust we struggled with in our marriages, and carry out into everyday life.

When it came time to dedicate Pretzel Logic, there was no question: my str8 spouse list buddies. As we used to say, it's great to meet you, but too bad it has to be under these circumstances.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Williams Hill Publishing; 1ST edition (June 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0965250245
• ISBN-13: 978-0965250245
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,465,511 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Yes., July 2, 2003

By 

Robert P. Beveridge "xterminal" (Lakewood, OH) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Pretzel Logic (Paperback)

Lisa Rogak, Pretzel Logic (Williams Hill Press, 1999)

Lisa Rogak has written a pretty darn fine novel, but unfortunately couldn't get it published by a major. So instead she went to a small, regional press with this book, which has probably kept it from getting a wide enough distribution to reach the audience it deserves.

Pretzel Logic is the story of a married couple who move back to the wife's hometown and take over the weekly paper. All is going swimmingly until the husband starts fighting past demons he thought he had conquered in his adolescence, finally capitulating to them and (while masking it in various ways) coming out of the closet.

The storyline isn't anything terribly new. We've all seen it before over the past twenty years more than once. What makes Pretzel Logic worthwhile is Rogak's easygoing style, somewhat rare in journalists, especially rare in journalists writing autobiographical novels and there are quite a few clues lying around to give this away as an autobiographical novel). Rogak is still close to her material, to be sure, but that doesn't stop her from recognizing, and telling, a good story around it.

It is entirely possible that the way Rogak approaches the subject matter is what stopped the book from getting published. Various episodes in the book, from an offhand comment made early on to Rogak's attempt at sleeping with another woman are not handled with one iota of political correctness, which would no doubt cause most publishers to shy well away from this book. At the same time, the political incorrectness of the book doesn't come off as offensive as much as it comes off honest (and if you can't tell the difference between the two, you can both stop reading this review right now and avoid this book like the plague. Those with chips on their shoulders are guaranteed to be offended by this book). In other words, as often happens, the book didn't get a big contract precisely because of the things that make it a good read in the first place. And we wonder why Danielle Steel sells millions of copies. *** ½

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Kathy Hayes..., October 11, 2000

By 

Kathy1055 "www.bookendersbookclub.com" (Lee's Summit, MO) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Pretzel Logic (Paperback)

I would have never thought to pick up this book on my own sinceit didn't apply to me. But, since I heard about it and am open toreading everything, I decided to read it. What an education. Many ofus do not even think about being in a situation where we findourselves married to a gay partner, but in all reality, ithappens. This is life and nothing to be hidden in the closet. I foundthe book very informative and I am sure a blessing to those who needto know there are other people going through this situation and thatthere is support out there for them. I think Ms. Rogak did a wonderfuljob informing the public of a more common happening than most of usknow about. She writes from both sides of the relationship, althoughMichael, the gay husband, doesn't have a voice of his own. We hear itfrom Emily. We hear from others going through the same thing and theopenness of their feelings. Both Michael and Emily explore theirrelationship, not wanting to lose their friendship, but also realizingthings aren't going to change. You have to be happy with yourself oryou will never be happy. This book is a wonderful public service forthose in need.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting reading, March 14, 2003

By 

Detra Fitch (USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Pretzel Logic (Paperback)

Wonderfully told story on how a woman married for years suddenly finds out her husband is [not straight]. The whole book began looking like two friends of the opposite sex out for a night out on the town together. She, wanting to know what his [other] night life was like, got him to take her with him. But they are really married.

Then chapter one takes you back into time to tell the tale from the beginning. It was fascinating to watch Michael come to terms with being [not straight]. I was horrified for Emily as she found out the truth, even though I knew it was coming.

The author shows exactly what I believe it must be like to find myself in this situation. The question, "Where do we go from here?" is not an easy one to answer. However, Lisa Rogak pulls me, the reader, along with her with her humor and was of facing facts. I loved it!