Preventing Sibling Rivalry: Six Strategies to Build a Jealousy-Free Home [Hardcover]

Sybil Hart (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 8, 2001

If you are like most parents, you cross your fingers hoping and praying that little Max will fall head over heels in love with new baby Ruby. But did you know there are practical steps that you can take to foster healthy, nurturing sibling bonds prior to baby Ruby's arrival on the scene? Dr. Sybil Hart says that you can do much more than wait nervously and wish for your children to love one another. Yes, temperament and luck have something to do with the constant squabbling that tears many households apart, but there's actually a burgeoning science of infant emotions that helps explain the connection between jealousy and friendship. Dr Hart, a leading expert in this area of child development, draws upon her landmark emotion research and her experience as a child therapist to show how parents can help their very young children interact in positive ways.

In fact, parents don't need to wait for the next child to arrive on the scene to begin addressing sibling conflict. According to Dr. Hart and growing numbers of parenting experts, the key to happy and emotionally well-balanced sibling relationships depends on how you and your child are getting along right now. In other words, it pays to plan ahead.

A comprehensive, practical, and first-ever guide to exploring jealousy in infants, "Preventing Sibling Rivalry" shows how some conventional childrearing advice like wide sibling spacing can be detrimental, and teaches you strategies for setting up a jealousy-free home, including:

How to measure an infant's jealousy temperament with an easy-to-use test How to distinguish between normal and unhealthy jealousyWhy the arrival of a new baby deepens the father's bond with olderchildrenWhy spacing siblings only two years apart fosters family cohesivenessHow cultivating early social skills like eye-contact, smiling, laughter, and physical affection promotes secure mother-infant attachment and the foundation for sibling bonds

"Preventing Sibling Rivalry" offers a program to fit every family. Perfect for on-the-spot advice as well as for parents who wish to plan ahead, this invaluable guide will help mothers and fathers create healthier, happier sibling and parent relationships. Whether a couple has planned the next birth, is surprised by the news of a second child on the way, or already has three or four at home, this is the must-have for every parent bringing a new child into the world.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Digging deep into the phenomena of sibling love, jealousy and competition, Sybil Hart, assistant professor of Human Development and Family Studies at Texas Tech University, dispenses advice on Preventing Sibling Rivalry. Based on extensive research and clinical experience, Hart's book is distinguished by straightforward insight into the roots of children's jealousy and practical suggestions for anticipating and preparing for it before the arrival of the next child. With its no-nonsense approach and its calm, empathetic tone, this guide will come as welcome relief to parents of jealous children.
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Years of emotion research have led Hart (human development and family studies, Texas Tech Univ.) to believe that jealousy develops in infancy. Many ideas that other parenting books offer as fact she discounts as myth. For example, Hart says that "the arrival of a sibling does not actually cause jealousy"; it is just the first time that envy is displayed. She also asserts that changes in routine and underpreparation do not cause sibling rivalry. To help foster a harmonious family, Hart prescribes a little foresight. Couples, for example, are advised to space children two years apart. Fathers can also create an important bond with the older child before a new baby enters the family. In Chapter 4, parents learn how to measure an infant's jealousy temperament. This exercise involves the mother paying exclusive attention to a doll while the child is in the room and measuring his or her reaction. Hart's scholarly approach makes this title best suited for academic libraries, though first serial rights were sold to Parenting magazine. Parents in a public library setting may find Peter Goldenthal's Beyond Sibling Rivalry: How To Help Your Children Become Cooperative, Caring, and Compassionate (LJ 1/99) more user-friendly. Kathy Ingels Helmond, Indianapolis-Marion Cty. P.L.
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: Free Press; First Edition edition (March 8, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0684871785
• ISBN-13: 978-0684871783
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.2 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 2.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,431,469 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing, May 11, 2001

By 

Eileen (United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Preventing Sibling Rivalry: Six Strategies to Build a Jealousy-Free Home (Hardcover)

I was very excited to find a book that claimed to have six strategies for dealing with sibling rivalry. Though the book does contain many interesting research studies, I found the strategies, with one exception, to be a disappointment. ... main contention ... is that the best way to prevent sibling rivalry is to space children close together. She states that though this requires more work in the early years, the situation forces spouses to cooperate, and ultimately produces children who will have more in common because they are so close in age, thus leading to less rivalry. Perhaps this worked for her. But there are many families out there that would beg to differ. Having children closely spaced may result in better cooperation between spouses, but it also may put a strain on the marriage. Divorce is quite common when there are young children in the home, precisely because of the stress encountered when raising them. The children may have more in common because they are close in age, but then again they may be two disparate personalities who do not get along. On the other hand, children who are farther apart in age may get along just fine. .... The strategies themselves were of little use to someone who already has children who are older than one year of age. They rely on determining an infant's jealousy level at the age of one year, and from that deciding when to have your next child. The sixth strategy, finding what motivates the conflict, and spending time with your children when they are not in conflict is certainly effective.

11 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful for planning a second child, July 23, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Preventing Sibling Rivalry: Six Strategies to Build a Jealousy-Free Home (Hardcover)

Sybil Hart's book was a reassurance to me as I contemplate defying other experts' recommendations about spacing children three years apart. She recommends close child spacing and gives reasons for her alternate viewpoint, and also includes a test you can perform on your 12 month old to get an idea of how jealous he or she is likely to be, even if the new baby is some time away. She also lists types of conflict between siblings and offers suggestions for handling them. I felt the book's greatest strength was the support it gave me in deciding to have a second child soon. My only negative thought about the book was that much of it did seem to be her opinion, based on research combined with conjecture. Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone struggling with the problem of when to have a second child.

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Don't buy this!, March 22, 2007

By 

Georgiamom (Georgia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Preventing Sibling Rivalry: Six Strategies to Build a Jealousy-Free Home (Hardcover)

Thank goodness I just checked this book out of the library and didn't buy it! This book barely provides one helpful strategy, and instead is more about theories and case studies. In the foreward she mentions that this book is best read BEFORE you have a second child. Well, I have a feeling most people are not that proactive, and instead start looking for help once their kids start fighting and really struggling with sibling rivalry. Skip this book and find another one!