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Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child's Emotions and Solving Family Problems Paperback – May 28, 2012


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Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child's Emotions and Solving Family Problems + How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk + The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 280 pages
  • Publisher: Oxford University Press (May 28, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0199896240
  • ISBN-13: 978-0199896240
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 0.6 x 5.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #83,715 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review


Award-Winning Finalist in the Parenting & Family category of The 2013 USA Best Book Awards, sponsored by USA Book News.

2013 International Book Awards Winner, Parenting & Family

Eric Hoffer Book Award Winner, Home Category

Mom's Choice Award, Gold Winner

National Parenting Publications Award, Silver Winner

ForeWord Reviews Book of the Year Award Finalist, Family and Relationships

2012 Book of the Year Award Bronze Prize, Family and Relationships


"This is a wonderful book! This practical and very wise book will support parents and guardians thinking about how to best manage the struggles that all children-and all families-have! I wish that I had been able to read this book when I became a father."-- Jonathan Cohen, Ph.D., President, Center for Social and Emotional Education and Adjunct Professor in Psychology and Education, Teachers College, Columbia University


"Kenneth Barish, a seasoned child therapist, has written a masterful and wise book. He distills his knowledge of the field and his many years of working with children and parents into practical advice that will be enormously helpful to parents navigating the inevitably rough waters of childhood. Parents will learn how to enlist their children in solving problems and how to help their children get unstuck. Compassionate, respectful, and inspiring, this book stands out from the crowded field of parenting books. It deserves a prominent place on every parent's bookshelf."-- Ellen F. Wachtel, Ph.D., author of Treating Troubled Children and Their Families


"Stepping into the national debate over whether parents are too soft, or too worried, or too distracted to raise strong kids, Dr. Barish shares his insights into the emotional lives of children and what kids need from parents to develop resilience, optimism, the capacity for hard work, and the other good things we want for them. Dr. Barish understands that parenting can be child-centered without indulging or catering to children. By acknowledging kids' feelings, we can more effectively help them develop self-discipline. He offers an excellent guide to building the kind of warm, positive relationship with kids that is the key to setting, and enforcing, the limits that they need."-- Harold S. Koplewicz, M.D., President, Child Mind Institute


"Pride and Joy is a book overflowing with the unmistakable signs of wisdom that only decades of experience can produce. Ken Barish has written the book that every clinician dreams about being able to write and every parent (and grandparent!) dreams about being there to read. To be sure, solid advice and solutions to parenting problems are here, but even more important is the sense of perspective and equanimity with which Barish reassuringly fills each page. This is a must for every parent's bookshelf. Well done!"
-- Marshall P. Duke, Ph.D., Charles Howard Candler Professor of Psychology, Emory University and Editor of Journal of Family Life


"Understanding children requires understanding and responding wisely to the emotions that enliven--and sometimes undermine--children's everyday experience. Dr. Barish expertly weaves together the insights of developmental science, a clinician's experience, and the practical knowledge of a father to provide guidance to the challenges of parenthood. This book is wise and smart." -- Ross A. Thompson, Ph.D., Distinguished Professor, Department of Psychology, University of California-Davis


"Written in an accessible manner, Dr. Barish offers many nuggets of advice concerning the rearing of children in this confusing, complex society. He emphasizes the need to support children's emotional health through sharing their joys, offering solace when they are sad or disappointed, and by addressing any conflicts that may occur between parent and child. Research is cited throughout the book, but in language that is lucid and free of jargon. Dr. Barish cites many examples that deal with children's problems drawn from his clinical practice, adding to the richness of this book."-- Dr. Dorothy G. Singer, Department of Psychology, Yale University


"If you only buy one parenting book in the next ten years, do yourself (and your children) a favor and make it Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child's Emotions and Solving Family Problems by Dr. Kenneth Barish... Pride and Joy will certainly help parents repair and enrich relationships with their children while helping them establish the rules and limits children really do crave. Best Parenting Book of 2012." -- Gina Stepp, examiner.com


"Parents who wish to focus more on the positive, who want ideas of how to deal with
behavioral difficulties, and who would like to raise children who are optimistic and
confident would greatly benefit from this easy-to-read, easy-to-put-into-practice book." -- Michelle Stroffolino Schmidt, PsycCRITIQUES


"... a valuable addition to a genre of literature intended to support and educate parents. It provides not only a lexicon for emotions but also a language and approach enabling parents to reach out to their children in a helpful, joyful way. The language of the author is readily available to parents because of its clarity and positive intent. These are words that can be quickly assimilated by the parent reading in moments of calm or anxiety searching for alternative solutions. Congratulations to the author on this innovative, integrative, and necessary slender volume."--Journal of Infant, Child, and Adolescent
Psychotherapy


"We all have fears as we raise our children, and we try so hard to get it right, though we're never quite certain if we are where we should be. Ken Barish, who has been there as a parent and has seen almost everything kids can get into during his years of practice, provides the information you seek and helps you get your bearings. If you are a parent, you will reach for this book like it's the hand of a dear and knowing friend reaching out to offer help. Pride and Joy is a superb book-brilliant, wise, timely, and fun to read. It is heartfelt and full of treasures every parent will store up and use." -- Edward (Ned) Hallowell, M.D., Founder of The Hallowell Center for Cognitive and Emotional Health, and author of The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness


"As a child therapist and a parent, I am much the richer for having read Barish's work." --Henry Kronengold, PhD, Psychoanalytic Psychology


About the Author


Kenneth Barish is Clinical Associate Professor of Psychology at Weill Medical College, Cornell University. He is also on the faculty of the Westchester Center for the Study of Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy and the William Alanson White Institute Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy Training Program.

More About the Author

Kenneth Barish, Ph.D., is Clinical Associate Professor of Psychology at Weill Medical College, Cornell University. He is also on the faculty of the Westchester Center for the Study of Psychoanalysis and Psychotherapy and the William Alanson White Institute Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy Training Program.

Dr. Barish was raised in Mt. Vernon, NY and now lives in Mamaroneck, NY, where he and his wife raised their two children. He graduated from Yale University in 1972 and earned his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology form the New School for Social Research in 1980. In addition to his teaching, writing, and clinical practice, Dr. Barish plays jazz trumpet, and his jazz group performs often for professional events.

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
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See all 30 customer reviews
Great book to help parents and therapists understand children's emotional development.
Terry Gaspard
As a parent of young children, the book has profoundly helped me to better identify my children's emotions and to solve family problems to make our home more peaceful!
mom of 2
Dr. Barish's book provides well-reasoned and practical advice on a range of issues that all parents experience with their children.
appreciative parent

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Papa Don on April 29, 2012
Format: Paperback
Dr. Barish has written one of the best, most helpful, practical and least gimicky books I have ever read about parenting. I found the book eminently readable and interesting but for a lay book very scholarly. The insights are profound and I wish I had this book available when my children were first born. It has helped me to better understand and interact with my children as well as to relate to the children I encounter in my business. A profound experience for parents, grandparents and anyone who encounters children.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Janet on December 2, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
People say that the problem with children is that they don't come with an instruction manual. It is my belief that Dr. Barish's most recent book could serve as one and make the world a better place if every newborn baby came with a copy. As a parent of three teenagers and a Psychoanalyst, I am thrilled to recommend this book to friends and patients. It takes the emphasis off "punishment" and behavior and focuses on addressing the emotional needs of a child that lead to sub-optimal behaviors in a clear direct way that any parent can try. While considering the current criticisms of the day of too lenient parenting, Dr. Barish explains that sometimes negotiating and modeling flexibility for our children is not a sin. A great and useful book!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Terry Gaspard on July 21, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Great book to help parents and therapists understand children's emotional development. I appreciate Dr. Barish's research on shame since it's an emotion that is not written about often. It arrived on time and in perfect condition.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Mom of 2 on February 25, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Dr. Barish speaks from years of experience and his insights are practical in application. From the beginning pages of his book, I could already relate and respond to my children in a different and more effective way.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Edythe Held Mencher on September 3, 2012
Format: Paperback
I found this book gentle but powerful in its focus upon positive and thoughtful day to day interactions between parents and children as enduring sources of joy, confidence and hopefulness. The many true to life dialogues and anecdotes convincingly and movingly demonstrate the ways in which a child's sense of faith and trust are built. Dr Barish offers ways to help children feel understood and helped to manage difficult emotions, enabling parents and grandparents to become the steady guides that children need. Adults really will experience renewed pride and joy as the family atmosphere becomes calmer and more enjoyable for everyone. Dr. Barish's compassion, sense of humor and conversational tone make this a very readable and useful book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By mom of 2 on May 7, 2012
Format: Paperback
Dr. Barish clearly helps parents to better understand their children's emotional development and how to effectively solve issues that arise daily when raising children. As a parent of young children, the book has profoundly helped me to better identify my children's emotions and to solve family problems to make our home more peaceful! The book is written in language for all to understand and you can Really use the techniques discussed with your children unlike other parenting books that are not as user friendly. The book is an exceptional parenting book and should be read by all parents with children of different ages.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By E. Salay on April 1, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have read dozens of parenting, child development, and discipline books in my quest to be a good parent. I am addicted to them and have my own library of parenting books. Some of them are good, but most are just okay. Nothing has really clicked with me and nothing has seemed more relevant and practical than Pride and Joy by Kenneth Barish. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for practical, thoughtful solutions to everyday problems as well as a resource for understanding children's emotions (actually it will help you understand adult emotions too!). Highly, highly recommend.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By JW on September 1, 2012
Format: Paperback
As a parent I found Dr. Barish's book an invaluable resource.. The book is written in clear, easy to understand language, accessible to every parent The ideas and suggestions should truly help parents who feel frustrated and challenged by their children (and that is just about every parent) to gain an understanding of some of the underlying causes of these challenges and to address them. I believe the book can help parents to find greater joy in parenthood.
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