Customer Reviews

Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years

5 star:		(20)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

If you were (safely) married when the sexual revolution began and went back into the dating world as a divorced woman in the years that followed, you know how difficult it was to ignore all those messages from the Fifties about how 'nice girls don't." Most of us who are single in this stage of our lives did anyway, and still do, but in case any of those messages are still holding you back, a few pages of this terrific book will convince you not to waste any more time before you make the most of the opportunities for sexual adventure and sensual gratification that are all around you. And while you don't have to go to Bali (although who wouldn't?) to get what's yes, still coming to you, it's lucky for us that Pepper Schwartz did. There will be critics caviling that what the lady really wanted was love, not sex, but as the onlooker in the classic scene in "When Harry Meant Sally" said of Meg Ryan's restaurant orgasm, "I'll have what she's having."
Brava, Dr. Pepper!

Prime is a good read with accurate information and advice woven into it. The concept of "two handed massage" and a get-away to Bali reads like friendly advice over coffee, but in reality it is also sound couples counseling. The theoretically advice is cloaked in wonderful erotic adventures that can be a guide book for any women who wants to continue to be sexually responsive.

When I turned 60 everyone was saying it was all over. Pepper has confirmed my belief that a fulfilling sex life is not just for the young of age, but the young of heart as well. For women, love and sex go together like pie and ice cream. Pepper tells us that ice cream can be great all by itself .

As soon as my wife finished reading her copy of Prime, with that luscious cover, I grabbed it and starting reading. What a remarkable book!! What a remarkable woman! Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a highly regarded academic sexologist takes off her professorial robes (literally) and shares her most intimate experiences, discoveries, and evolving wisdom as a single woman exploring sex and love in what she comes to view as the prime of her life. This is a great read,not just for single women in their "prime," but for men and women of any age.

Prime is delightful, entertaining, encouraging. I have recommended it to women in my life from age 21 to 70. As Debbie Siegel describes on her blog, it defines one (wonderful) end of the lust continuum. I'm all for it.

One of Pepper's acquaintances tossed me this book as a must-read, and I was reluctant at first. Did I really want to hear the gory details of Pepper's conquests? As it turned out, the book makes for very easy reading; simple, anecdotal stories of who she has been intimate with, and then summations of what she thinks she's learned. As a so-called "relationship guru", there's also an attempt at schooling the reader on do's and don'ts. Much of it is common knowledge, certainly nothing I didn't already know...the "Internet Dating Advisory" type warnings are info you should be able to find (where else?), on the net...so nothing unique there, either.
Pepper jumps directly into the intimacy thing with a suitor first - long before examining lifestyle compatibilty. Then she seems surprised and disappointed that so many of her romances fall apart. Pepper admits to having so many other priorities in her life - (besides taking care of a man) - that she seems to subconsciously target men who are the same way (UNavailable)- and then they just keep "missing" each other. If you want more from a man and a relationship, then you have to give him more of yourself, and make sure he has time for you in return. If all Pepper can handle is a little intimacy once in awhile, while requiring personal space the rest of time, she shouldn't expect to have all the accompanying blossoms and emotional depth that come easier with a manicured, well-maintained love affair.
Is Pepper really a relationship expert?
Well, she's learned a bit about how her relationships DON'T work. The dating advise and her new-found insights she offers isn't bad - but it lacks complexity and real wisdom. Her writing has a warm, personable, but juvenile tone.
Not expert-like...more "novice-like".
All-in-all, the book makes for amusing, light reading...but it's not the comprehensive treatise on dating advise for us mature women that I was hoping for. Basically, it's just PG-rated excerpts from Pepper's diary.

I loaned my copy of Prime to my 60 year old cousin, Janice, who wrote, "Thank you, Thank you. I couldn't put it down. It is the best book I ever read. I think Pepper saved my marriage. The 3 'C's made my appreciate Jeff, and the chemistry we have together. Compatibility isn't always great, but she also made me realize some men (and maybe women) just aren't going to change, so get over it."

Janice talked so much about Prime, I bought a copy for another cousin, my sister-in-law, neighbor and my 83 year old mother. It is actually a sizzler with relevant advice.

In a world where men and women both tend to be dishonest or silent about their sexual lives, it's refreshing to read such an honest and self-searching book. This book is zestful and sensitive at once--more Tom Jones than Jane Eyre, thank god, with Dr. Pepper playing a female Tom Jones. Yes, there are sad parts. And accounts of the kinds of emotional mistakes we all seem prone to. It's much more personal than academic, and that's great. It's not so easy to be frank (and vulnerable) about the volatile and rather mysterious mix of lust and love that moves us all into our relationships, and while you may or may not identify with Dr. Schwartz's gregarious and wide-ranging sexual and social style, there's so much in this book that's life-affirming, brave and supportive of female efficacy and freedom, that I highly recommend it to any women who's in transition, or facing growing older and all the limiting messages we get about that, or simply wanting to make sure she keeps her mojo in good working order.

I can imagine readers having one of two reactions to this book: being enthralled and captivated by the juicy stories of Pepper's dating life, or being annoyed and perplexed by her (variation-on-an-alpha-male-theme) dating dramas. And, yes, I had both of these reactions as I read the book.

Although at times this book did seem to be a collection of Pepper's journal entries appended with a dose of advice and explanations, the stories make for a stimulating (but, not in the intellectual sense) read. If nothing else, the reader's reactions to Pepper's dating dramas can provide a reference point for paving one's own path for (re)-entering the dating world.

The overall message of the book is as hopeful as Pepper's life is lustful: regardless of a woman's age, setbacks, or limits, she deserves to discover a life that honors who she is, and--in Pepper's own words--allows her to "stay lush."

PRIME came at a prime time in my life. I'm a little over one year out of a 12 year marriage. I'm wanting as much hot sex as I can get, since that had been a big minus in the marriage and when my first post marriage lover didn't work long term for me I was worrying that all I had to look forward to was hot flashes. Well Pepper's book not only was a thrill to read, but was an empowering push out the door and into my sexual confidence.

I truly admire Pepper Schwartz's courage, after all the years, to go public with her sex life(to a point of course). It was wonderful to see a strong professional woman describe her thoughts and conversations about sex, her pitfalls and vulnerabilities, as well as her fear about what others will think of her now that she's led us on her bedroom adventures. Bravo! Through it all the importance of a GOOD GROUP OF GIRL FRIENDS and LUSH RIPE female role models keeps coming back to mind as one of my favorite threads.

For someone like me, an independent woman living my life on my own terms and enduring the consequences of that feat, Dr. Pepper Schwartz's book Prime; Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love and the Sensual Years (Harpers/Collins 2007) was nothing short of inspirational. I found this lively, funny romp through Dr Schwarz's spicy romantic life refreshing, empowering, and affirming. It is the perfect read for the 21st century woman.

I am fast approaching 50 and Prime invited me not only to go boldly into dating but also into life. It made me aware that opportunities for exciting romantic encounters are out there. With a little effort, the potential for experiencing meaningful, pleasurable relationships exist.

But Prime spoke to me on a deeper and more important level; that women can create extraordinary lives, setting whatever perimeters they choose, and deciding how far to push them. Schwartz challenges women to "live large." Brava! To read the honest accounts from fully realized women such as Madeleine Albright, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, and Dr. Schwartz, who have created outstanding lives for themselves, gives me courage to do the same.

What I liked best about Prime, however, was how it influenced my fitness routine. I read while on the stair machine at the gym. I normally do a 45 minute workout at level seven, but Schwartz's witty and entertaining writing style in combination with the sexy stories had me happily increasing my level to nine and going an additional 15 minutes.

I don't know if it was the stories or the machine itself that increased my respiration and heart rate.