3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Awful, October 17, 2010
Disclaimer: I watched this film as part of
The Gorehouse Greats Collection, and as such, I'm unable to comment on the quality or extras that may be included on this individual package. My review is only concerned with the entertainment value of the film.
While considering what to write for my review of 'Prime Evil', I tried to think of some positive things to say about it. I'm still thinking. Still thinking.
William Beckwith, as Father Seton, plays the leader of a satanic cult hidden within the hierarchy of the Catholic Church, a group that purchases power and immortality from Satan by sacrificing a blood relative every thirteen years. The plot, such as it is, revolves around one member of the cult who is preparing his adult granddaughter for the ceremony, and how she slowly falls into their trap. But unknown to Father Seton and the rest of the cult members, there is a spy in their midst in the form of a young nun who had run afoul of the cult when she was still a little girl. Will she be in time to save Alexa, the granddaughter, from the sacrifice?
Trust me, you won't care. I can accept a movie with a limited budget, cheap sets and bad film quality. I can accept silly scripts, bad dialogue, and cheesy effects. Some of those things can actually become positives in B-grade flicks like this, but what I cannot stand, what makes me squirm in my seat, is a preponderance of bad actors. In low-budget filmmaking, you expect for there to be several actors who are unable to act, but 'Prime Evil' has only one, William Beckwith, that can. Nothing thrusts me out of the make-believe world of the film faster than leaden, wooden acting.
Here's a positive: 'Prime Evil' positively proves that not just anybody can get up on screen and convincingly portray a character. I hereby apologize for every crack I've made at the expense of Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise. I still don't like their movies, but they do have at least some skill at acting. The cast of 'Prime Evil' make Keanu Reeves and Nicolas Cage look like Richard Burton and John Gielgud in comparison.
Here's another positive: The DVD cover art is pretty good, if a bit phallic.
I suppose it's my Pentecostal upbringing, but occult movies are not really my thing. Still, a well-made film is still a well-made film, and a poor one is still poor. I suppose Roberta Findlay, the director, did what she could with the material and equipment she was given, but the cast she had to direct are as talented as those in the average adult film, which, ironically, is where Ms. Findlay got her directing start.
I'll round this one up, since I was able to watch it all the way through, but just barely. Another positive - this movie has to have the most cheesy, absolutely silly-looking effects I've ever seen. It's almost worth a look just for the Prince of Darkness footage - if you were able to somehow skip the other 82 1/2 of the 83 minutes.
One last positive: This movie makes all the time I waste playing computer solitaire look worthwhile in comparison to the time I spent watching this.
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2.0 out of 5 stars
Cheesy and sleazy? Indubitably, August 31, 2010
Sometimes, you just want to watch a cheesy horror movie with a ridiculous storyline, lots of bad acting, and such sparkling dialogue as "Cut the crap, fart breath" - and when you're in that kind of mood, Prime Evil stands ready to meet all of your lowest expectations. It even throws in one of the lamest fight scenes in movie history for no extra charge. This is actually one of the better films from director Roberta Findlay, best known for a string of hardcore pornographic films in the 1970s (she and husband Michael Findlay have been called "the most notorious filmmakers in the annals of sexploitation") before turning her attention to making bad horror films in the 1980s. Now maybe you're thinking Prime Evil must have a fair amount of nudity in it, and it does - but it's all relegated to naked female breasts.
If nothing else (and I do mean nothing else), the main purveyor of all this "prime evil" does have charisma, and that's an important thing to have when you're basically Satan's 800-year-old prime minister on Earth. For all the cheesiness of his role, William Beckwith actually turns in a pretty good performance as "Father" Thomas Seaton. Everyone else - not so much. Christine Moore is OK as the naïve and necessarily virginal Alexandra Parkman, but the rest of the cast would, as I like to say, have a hard time acting their way out of a dark room with a flashlight. Special kudos to the two cops, who actually make Hayden Christensen look like a good actor (well, almost). As far as the story goes, Alex is fated to be the next sacrificial victim for the local New York parish of Satan. If you think that sounds like bad news for her - especially since she's being given to Satan by her own grandfather - try being one of her friends. Father Thomas takes quite a liking to the young lady, and he doesn't want anyone interfering with his plans.
Throw in an undercover nun and a special cameo by Satan himself (looking absolutely ridiculous, I might add) along with little bit of blood and some kooky gore at the end, and you've got Prime Evil. The whole thing is a complete and utter waste of time - entertaining to lovers of bad movies (such as myself), but a painful ordeal for those born without the bad movie lover gene.
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