Customer Reviews

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After the theme song "Honky Tonk Man", which tries to be both rap and country and doesn't quite make it as either, I knew I would enjoy this movie. The main character is a rebel. How do we know? Because he almost runs over a fellow cop when he arrives at a hostage situation, his PICK UP has a "Don't Mess with the U.S." bumper sticker and he wears a big belt that says "Cowboy". He's a good cop, but he's a BAD BOY. David Heavener, who should've been the next Casper Van Dien, wrote, directed, stars in, sings all the songs, and baked the donuts for this craptastic film. I know I shouldn't find this thing as awesome as I did, but I really enjoyed it. If you want to see a cheap GAUNTLET/COBRA/DIRTY HARRY knock-off with Andrew Robinson playing the Police Commisioner, Don Stroud, Isaac Hayes and ten seconds of toplessness from Jenilee Harrison, (and who doesn't?) this is worth watching. If you don't think the lyrics "hey, bartender, won't you render, me...another beer?" are funny, maybe you should just watch your FIGHT CLUB DVD again.

Starring David Heavener. Written by David Heavener. Produced by David Heavener. Directed by David Heavener. Original songs composed and performed by David Heavener. This film is pretty much the work of one man... and it shows. I had never heard of David Heavener prior to watching this film and, as it turns out, there is good reason for this. I thought perhaps he considered this his ONE big opportunity to make a movie and did everything himself so he could call it his own, more or less as a source of pride. After doing a little research on the guy, it turns out he does this on a regular basis. He writes, produces, directs and acts in every movie he makes, and each one is a piece of crap. He appears to be a modern Ed Wood, and that isn't saying much for David Heavener. Ever see "Atlanta Blue"? How about "Psycho Weene"? I didn't think so. This one is a violent, cliché-filled rip-off of Dirty Harry films with some sex and nudity thrown in. Heavener even does an impression of Clint Eastwood, often muttering some inane tough guy lines through a gritty, clenched smirk. He plays John "Blood" Bloodstone, a wild and wacky renegade cop whose loose cannon style gets him thrown off the force. To make matters worse, he is going to lose his house to foreclosure unless he can come up with $[...]. As luck would have it, the FBI comes to town and offers him a bonus to escort a mob witness (Tony Curtis) to trial. "Blood" was chosen because only he can do it. Uh-huh. Anyway, he haggles his bonus up to (you guessed it) $[...], so he agrees to take the job. In a callous attempt to ally the viewer with "Blood" against the mob witness, the DVD case states Copella (the witness) is "opera obsessed." This is clearly an appeal to its intended audience, which is presumably the common, simple American. Not only that, it's especially callous because opera is never mentioned in the movie. Either way, the message is clear. Anyway, en route to their destination (wherever that might be), Copella offers "Blood" large sums of money to let him go. "Blood" refuses each offer, not because it is the honorable and just thing to so, but because it is his job. Whereas Dirty Harry ran all over San Francisco in order to save a girl's life, "Blood" is doing all this so he can keep his house. So much for his "hero" designation. It is never clear in the film where the locations are; the trek begins in a small town, the two drive for a couple days, spending the night in a hotel, and then "Blood" calls his office for a back-up to meet him in an hour. Then his wife drives drives over from their house within a matter of minutes. The entire film lacks logic and polish, and seems as though it were written by a couple C-average middle school students for a creative writing class. The dialogue is embarrassing; one sample: Capt. Tompkins: "John, you're a crazy SOB. You know that?" Isaac Hayes suffers the indignity of reciting this line not once, but twice. The good news is, he shouldn't be too ashamed of this movie because not many people will see it. If not for the presence of Jenilee Harrison, I would not have watched this film. It is amazing Heavener was able to get these actors for this. They could not have been paid very much, so why are they in it? Did they owe him a favor? Were they so desperate that they would take just anything? For that matter, what did Heavener have to do to get financing for this? What kind of arrangement did he have with Gerald Milton, who produced it? Regardless, Heavener now composes and performs Christian music, which would not be so surprising if he did not continue to churn out R-rated movies. He is the brand of Christian who makes violent movies with bad language and sex in them. (i.e., he's not especially pious) Ah well. It takes all kinds. Nonetheless, this guy seriously needs to stop inflicting his `unique vision' on the world because we would be better off without it. The Legacy DVD quality really isn't as bad as I though it would have been for the price. The transfer is decent enough. I'm not certain what the source was, but it looks better than a VHS tape.