Customer Reviews

The Princessa : Machiavelli for Women

5 star:		(22)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(20)

 

 

To paraphrase another reader, as a woman and an executive I don't think lies and manipulation are good policy. But that reader and I must have read a different book. The Princessa's advice is quite the opposite: Rubin urges women to be moral, honest and thoughtful. Not to get attached to the outcome to the expense of one's character; and to resist evil. I've had the book for two years. I go back to it frequently, when I feel I'm doing something wrong and can't place my finger on it, when I need a boost, when I need to take a wider view.

I found it easier to forget Machiavelli when reading Rubin: the Princessa, while taking the Prince as a starting point, is not in any way a "reading" of the classic text, nor even a variation. It is an attempt to counter its influence amongst would-be movers and shakers, who, whatever Machiavelli's ironic intention, take his "screw them to rule" advice as gospel.

I found her examples illuminating; given the size of the book, I couldn't expect a detailed dissertation on each character she chooses as a role model - if you want to know Gandhi in shades of grey, read a biography of Gandhi; if you want inspiration from his essential strategy in getting the British to "quit India" without resorting to violence, then you will find it, alongside many other sketches.

This book is not a replacements for our own instincts and learning, nor for more sustained arguments on women and the role of the feminine, rather it encourages us to look at prevailing orthodoxy, and see how this orthodoxy has failed women. For my money, Rubin gets it right - not everywhere, but in the main. And her chapters on power anorexy and tension hit the mark particularly. It has set me thinking in many different ways, it has helped me in others, it has guided some of my decisions to good effect, and it has challenged some of my assumptions. Not perfect in spite of the 5 stars, but a little gem all the same. Sceptics beware - this book is not for you. But if you are open-minded and want more from life than other people's rules...read it, return to it and pass it on.

While reading The Princessa, I found certain ideas about power made me very uncomfortable, which is usually a sign that something is hitting a nerve. I absolutely adored this little book, and like another reader, keep picking it up to go over pieces of it. Obviously, you can't please all of the people all of the time, but I'm amazed at the vehemence with which certain reviews wrote. I thought Rubin's expression of ideas was fascinating, and I think she's a fine writer. I also liked the manner in which she presented these ideas about women and power; like a myth, like a story, like a fairy tale. Seductive but deadly.

I'd save my griping for the drivel John Gray writes; I mean, how many times is he going back to his word processor to "fix up" Mars and Venus?

Power is one of those areas where writers have looked at the question from a male perspective or a unisex one that seems to be primarily male. To conceive of a book about women grasping and using power was a novel idea that quickly attracted my attention when the book first came out.

I have had the pleasure of sharing this book with many women in business and later discussing the book with them. Clearly, the part of the book where Rubin argues that women should act like women in gaining and using power is very controversial with some women.

The most extreme example of this point in dividing women readers I know is the advice to cry in front of men. Many women feel like this will cost them power, rather than gain them power. Others want to play the game like a man, and don't want to remind men that they are women. Other women feel that they should cry if they feel like it. Why shouldn't they?

So, one of the interesting aspects of this book is that it helps the reader (female or male) to understand more about her or his assumptions about power. My experience is that coming to grips with assumptions is the essential first step to making progress, in this case towards more effective uses of power.

A fascinating aspect of the book is that there are so few female historial characters for Rubin to draw on. Though each one is full of useful insights. I only wish there could have been more.

An argument that Rubin makes is that many men would like women to take charge more. That makes sense to me. Why should women always hang back to see what the men want to do? Certainly, in our company the women who have done best are those who have taken charge. Unfortunately, opening the door and inviting people to step through it to set their own course is not enough for some.

I encourage any woman (or man) who works with people of the opposite sex to read this book and think about its implications. Then use it as a discussion base for helping power be used more appropriately in your organization.

Have a powerfully good time reading this book!

I very much enjoyed reading this book and keep picking it up again and again. It lifts my spirits. I gives me the feeling that I'm right about what I believe and that deceit and hatred is not necessary to get what you want.

It's about combining love and war, that they are not opposites, but complement each other, and that your allowing your emotions to be present in everything you do can actually help and not hinder you. It suggests that you can draw on your love to tap your own energy and that you can succeed by loving people, by helping them, by connecting to them, and turning enemies into allies.

This book describes and explains these ideas beautifully. You still have to make them your own and see how to actually apply these concepts yourself, but I think that's the beauty of it. You succeed because you're you, with your own beliefs, strength' and weeknesses, and they all come together. What a concept!!

I, too, am amazed at the differences in the reviews. I go with the "read-4-times-a-year" group. This is not a how-to book with step-by-step instructions on how to get and keep power. Perhaps that is why people are so violently opposed to it: they think Rubin is telling women to cry to get their way. I read it more like: it is okay to cry, if you have tried everything else and that has failed.

I find it quite meditative and like to read a chapter here and there at night. I usually sets me off analyzing situations I have recently encountered. And I must say, many of her insights are quite helpful.

I recommend this book to every woman I encounter who had just taken a step up the power ladder!

This book is living proof of why publishing houses should neverpublish their own editors. How Doubleday could embarrass itself byoffering up this half-baked fruitcake of non sequiturs is all too obvious to me. However for the purposes of this review I will focus on Rubin's God-given talent for taking classic literature out of context and distorting history. Take a quick look up at Amazon.com's short description of "The Princessa." In it you will see that they refer to a passage in Rubin's book where she supposedly recounts Sun Tzu's only defeat. That defeat, according to Rubin (and sadly reiterated by Amazon.com), happened at the hands of the emperor's concubines when they simply giggled at one of Tzu's orders. What Rubin fails to tell us, and what Amazon.com did not pick up, is that that is only part of the story. The story continues and ultimately ends when Tzu lops off the heads of the emperor's favorite concubines, who were at the time nominated lieutenants and put in charge of the actions of their colleagues. Because their "troops" didn't follow orders they lost their lives despite the emperor's pleas. New lieutenants were then chosen and Tzu's orders were followed with precision. In other words, Tzu didn't lose. Tzu won!!! (Please read the ART OF WAR for the full story.)

There is no justification for Tzu's heinous act, but that is not the point. Rubin fabricates and distorts history and legend to suit her weak reveries, not only in this example, but throughout the book <sic>. How could Rubin attempt to get away with such a deception, or how could she make such an obvious oversight, when her own publishing house prints an illustrated version of THE ART OF WAR, with the "emperor's concubines" anecdote--as it truly is--as the lead story. All at once, Rubin destroys her credibility as a writer, an editor, and a scholar.

I wish I could tell you not to buy this book, but I can't. It proves that anyone can get published. Anyone can be an executive editor. Anyone can run their own line of books. And if not, Princessa is certainly worth a few good laughs.

I do not know the author, I do not know her critics. I noticed there were plenty of people posting here who hated the book, and plenty who loved it. I sincerely wonder if some of the posters aren't also, say, editors?? Just a thought. Apparently different things appeal to different people. I liked the book for some interesting and insightful viewpoints (yes, helpful ones) couched in a colorful, readable presentation. I don't agree with it all, but found the book rather tongue-in-cheek in its tone, and thus see no reason to skewer the writer. I do agree with her in the 'geez, why can't we all just get along?' arena. Healthy discourse, fine... and if you don't like the book, you don't like the book. Don't you hate it when someone at the brainstorming meeting keeps insisting 'that idea's *wrong*'?

In reading over some of the reviews of this book I was struck by the stark contrast of them. To me this is evidence of the "power" of this book. I think the women (and men) who have read this book and say they hate it are true Princes and Princessas who have no need for what is obvious to them-and are discounting this book in order to maintain their own personal "power". Good for them!

The ones who love it are learning some new valuable ways of thinking from this book. Whether or not all of the historical references are correct or incorrect doesn't really matter to me. The references did interest me in finding out more about those historical figures, while her "interpretations" of them and her views on how a woman should apply Machiavelli's theories got me thinking about strategy more consciously than I had in the past. My point is, whether I agree or disagree with what she says in this book, and whether you agree or disagree, reactions are strong. This is the sign of something successful, something which is stirring emotions and inciting some actions.

I am a woman who has been in business for myself for the past 8 years. I have a Master of Science in Communication. I think her points are basically good ones. Some I think are questionable, such as the crying one. I do think that crying is either a manipulative tool or a weak reaction, and not one of true power. If one does cry it has to be honest and uncontrollable crying (a weak reaction). That has happened to me in the past and I found it much more disempowering than empowering. True, I did get what I wanted in the end, but there was no sense of satisfaction in getting it that way. There was shame. It puts a fear in the person(s) witnessing the crying- of hurting that person, and a shame in the person doing the crying -that they will be thought of as weak and unbalanced. There is no true power without balance.

But, I found most of her other points good ones and noticed that in my business I do apply many of them. In business I have been successful with the men I work with by using (though unconsciously to this point) many of the tactics she describes. It is still difficult for women to make it in the business world. That is a definite. I think she is right when she says that women should not try to simulate men, but use their tactics without losing ones femininity. I don't believe that many women who have reviewed this book really understand what she is trying to say. Either that, or they don't have the sex appeal to use on men (some women don't). And I don't mean flaunting ones sexuality or dressing it up or anything like that. I just mean being attractive-in a sublime way. That's enough. Therefore they are angry that it is an advantage to have. And believe me it is an advantage. And it is awful that women need to have this trait while men don't. But that is because women are trying to break through a barrier of men who do put a value on attractiveness, like it or not. Men only have to deal with one another-so attractiveness never mattered. If the tables were turned and it were a matriarchical society I'm sure that women would not be impressed with unattractive, unkempt, spitting, fat, badly dressed men who were outward women haters and who would blame every woman for holding them back. Women would surely hold those men down from achievement. And men, similarly, are not impressed with radical feminists who place blame on men.

Women have an intrinsic power over men which men don't have over women. Unfortunately, until there are many more women in positions of power, it is our only ace in the hole in such a patriarchical society to get to that point. Any way we can get their attention and get them to let us into their "boys club" is an advantage. But ultimately we want them as partners, not as submissives. We have to play a smarter game than they have! ;)

This one is the perfect companion book to Annette Simmons' "Territorial Games." I wish I'd gotten hold of it sooner. I'd give it 50 stars if I could. Exceptional.

While The Princessa isn't flawless, the author presents some wonderful options for women on how to become stronger negotiators and how to play by their own rules.

The Princessa lightly reflects the ideals of Machiavelli (and often negates them) while lightly presenting historic persons to animate her points. This sometimes comes across as being too superficial and fluffy. More substantial evidence, arguments, and examples would have been a wonderful addition to make this book a more solid guide.

Overall, The Princessa is a good read. I found it entertaining, enlightening, and even empowering. I came away with some new tools and strategies to use in my career and everyday life. Additionally, this book challenged some of my own closely held beliefs on negotiation and women in the workplace, so I appreciate it for what it's worth.

As an aside: To the reader who threw the book to Dorothy Parker - she's been dead since 1967.