Most Helpful Customer Reviews
22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
With Grace And Courage, May 4, 2005
I have the utmost respect and love for Mr. Rivers and his family. It was traumatic to read this book, but I would not give back a moment shared. Sadly, many of us know the debilitating effects of both physical and verbal abuse. We spend a lifetime, with varying degrees of success, juxtaposing the violence of our youth, and the shaming of our souls by those who should unconditionally protect and love us, against the reclaiming of our lost innocence, determination and optimism. Our hearts and souls deserve so much more. To have endured such extreme abuse, and to have fought with so much heart to overcome the systemic indifference of the police, school administators and others who never asked why Victor was so reactive, to have endured long enough to let the angels over ride the evil and negligence, is a testament to Victor's courage, heart and spirit.
This book is amazing not only for it's vulnerability and pain, but also for it's willingness to reveal the depths of darkness so that others in need might have heroes and hope.
I don't think I ever cried so hard while reading a book, but I could not turn away. I was riveted to the page. Thank you to Victor, Mim and Eli for all of your courage and love. READ THIS BOOK! And while you are at it, read Mim Eichler Rivas' BEAUTIFUL JIM KEY. What a family. So much kindness, patience, talent and generosity of spirit.
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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A Monster And His Handsome, Talented, Nurturing Son, May 25, 2005
A PRIVATE FAMILY MATTER takes up the story of one of Hollywood's leading actors, whom you have seen in so many TV shows and movies, and strips off the surface to reveal that behind the handsome mask he wears, a nightmare of terror and horror will forever haunt Victor Rivas, as the demons that have haunted him since childhood keep whistling through his mind like witches on broomsticks. He never has had a day without reliving the traumas of his difficult youth, particularly standing in the shadow of an abusive Dad, whose beatings he endured on a regular basis. Sometimes the father seems so wound up he's unreal, but through the eyes of a child, evil often wears a human face, and all too often, as Mr. Rivas demonstrates, that evil is in the father.
I liked all the Cuban stuff, an area I know little about. The family left Cuba when Castro came to power, because his father's family occupied important positions in the cabinet of the corrupt dictator Bautista (still fondly remembered, it seems, by many anti-Communist Cuban Americans). When you read A PRIVATE FAMILY MATTER perhaps you, like I, flashed back to the great novel by Reinaldo Arenas, BEFORE NIGHT FALLS, with its odd mixture of a longing for indigenous culture and a fleeing from its misogynist and anti-child aspects. The smells and sounds come out at you in waves of sensuous description.
Most of all, however, you feel the boy's pain. His father was truly a monster, and his mother was completely cowed by what amounts to the abuse he meted out to whoever got in the way of his anger and machismo. Beyond that, Victor reveals what it took to get him to become a productive adult. There had to be a lot of repair work done on this man. Next time you see him in the movies, think of how much his acting talent comes from the resources it took for him to find the light in a dark world of abuse. And now he helps others who have suffered some of the same syndromic abuse. Highly recommended.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Amazing, powerful, inspiring story, May 24, 2005
This is one of the most powerful books I've ever read. At first you react with shock, then disbelief, tears, and finally joy as you ride with Victor on his incredible journey. The story is unbelievably compelling - I couldn't put the book down, though some events were so difficult to read about, I wanted to. Victor's father is more than a match for any terrible fathers in past books -- THE GREAT SANTINI, for instance. But what's really amazing, and really moving, is how Victor triumphed over the odds, with the help of his "angels," to become not only a good kid but the school's valedictorian and eventually a good father.
It's also great that there this is a lot of information at the end of the book in how to get help if you need it or how to become involved in the movement if you feel so inspired - and after reading this incredibly powerful book, you will.
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