Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women's Sexual Fantasies [Paperback]

Suzie Boss (Author), Wendy Maltz (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 30, 2001

Previously published as In the Garden of Desire, this groundbreaking book describes common fantasy roles for women; illuminates the diverse functions of women's sexual fantasies, from stimulating orgasm to improving self-image; helps women discover their own fantasy styles; and offers straightforward advice for when and how to talk about fantasies with a lover.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Popular books on women's sexual fantasies tend to deliver soft core thrills and tips for a more fulfilling sex life, but disappoint readers hoping for outrageous abandon. Though well-crafted and often erotically charged, In the Garden of Desire is no exception, although it does offer insight into how fantasies evolve and how our sexuality is shaped by early experiences, whether pleasurable, disapproving, or abusive. It reminds us, too, that sex is, like humor, a matter of personal taste. Elaborate scenarios that electrify some of us--from sex-play with a true-hearted, sure-handed lover to nipple clamps--leave others shrugging.

Sex therapist Wendy Maltz and journalist Suzie Boss commendably avoid reducing fantasies to typically simplistic categories, noting that this strips them of the very plot build-up and sensuality that turn many women on. The authors are sanguine about disturbing or violent desires, merely commenting that "fantasies work best for us when they feel optional." To that end, they suggest ways to rewrite unpleasantly obsessive or personally oppressive scripts without completely extinguishing their fire. --Francesca Coltrera --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Sexual fantasies; we all have them. What many people may not know is that the same fantasies that make our hearts go pitter-pat can also tap into the unconscious and help express deep-seated desires or conflicts. Both of these books encourage readers to explore and understand their erotic thoughts to gain valuable insights into themselves. Toward that end, both include numerous fantasies per chapter, many explicit in detail. These details are necessary since only then can the sexual thoughts be broken down and analyzed for significant themes, recurring imagery, and hidden meanings. Both books also speak of a new sexual age in the near future, when everyone will benefit from the demystification of sex and will be able to communicate effectively about the subject without fear. The books are nevertheless different. Berkowitz, host of the popular talk show Real Personal, focuses on men's fantasies, organizing them thematically by content and offering straightforward analysis. Sex therapist Maltz and journalist Boss focus on women's fantasies, grouping them according to the six most common roles, e.g., the pretty maiden, the victim. They also cover uncharted waters with a section on eliminating troublesome and unwanted sexual fantasies. If your library can afford only one, Maltz and Boss is the more analytical title, though both are recommended.?Marty Dean Evensvold, Magnolia Branch Lib., Tex.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: New World Library (January 30, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1577311469
• ISBN-13: 978-1577311461
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,458,331 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Wendy Maltz, LCSW, DST, is an internationally recognized sex therapist, author, and lecturer, with more than thirty-five years of experience providing help for sex and intimacy concerns. She is a leading expert on healing from sexual abuse, understanding sexual fantasies, overcoming problems caused by pornography, and developing skills for healthy sexual intimacy. Wendy is co-director, with her husband Larry Maltz, of Maltz Counseling Associates in Eugene, Oregon and an adjunct professor at the University of Oregon Graduate Program in Couples and Family Therapy. Her educational website, www.HealthySex.com, provides free articles, posters, interviews, and inspirations that assist in healing and promote sexual health.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Real analysis based on legitimate research, June 26, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: In the Garden of Desire: Women's Sexual Fantasies as a Gateway to Passion and Pleasure (Paperback)

For anyone suspicious that Nancy Friday's dated My Secret Garden lacked legitimate research and analysis, this new book is a welcome resource. It gives the reader more than just summaries of women's fantasies--although obviously you cannot write this book without describing them. But this book goes on to show how to use those fantasies.

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars praise from Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, October 27, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women's Sexual Fantasies (Paperback)

Sex therapist and author Wendy Maltz and writer Suzie Boss have combined their talents in this new book about women's sexual fantasies. Together they explore the origins of women's most private thoughts, the most common fantasy roles for women, and how sexual fantasies may function to enhance one's sex life. Wendy Maltz's capacity as one of our country's leading experts with respect to healing from past sexual abuse is also reflected in this book. Chapters on how to recognize fantasy traps and heal or even change unwanted fantasies provide individuals with important insights and tools to alter disturbing fantasies. Finally, the authors offer advice on how to share fantasies with your lover and how to create new fantasies.
I found this book remarkable as it addresses an important issue in a very matter of fact way. Once again, it becomes clear how diverse women's sexualities are. The authors provide a logical framework for different fantasy styles by separating sexual fantasies into two broad categories, 1) scripted fantasies which may contain scripted plots and identifiable characters versus 2) unscripted fantasies with a primary focus on sensations rather that character roles. These two categories are by no means exclusive. In fact, many women draw from both in order to make up their personal fantasies.

Different women have different modes for getting sexually aroused, and while some prefer visual stimulation, others may find that auditory, tactile, olfactory, kinesthetic (related to body movement) or flavor stimuli are important ingredients to trigger sexual arousal. Maltz and Boss conclude: "…Sex therapists have recognized for years that fantasy can be an effective aid in helping women with sexual performance. They have frequently recommended the use of fantasies to boost sexual response, sort of like a vibrator of mind…The beauty of fantasy is that we can tap this wellspring of creativity at any time, in any place, with no one else privy to our thoughts…"

I very much agree that sexual fantasies are private thoughts, which do not necessarily have to be shared with others. For those who choose to share their fantasies with a partner for sexual enrichment, the authors offer sound advice on how to best accomplish this and they provide various guidelines for how to enact fantasies while honoring each other's limits.

In conclusion, I can highly recommend Private Thoughts to anyone, female or male, who wants to learn more about the power of women's sexual fantasies.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Analyze Your Fantasies?, January 19, 2007

By 

D. Rubel (Brighton, MI) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: In the Garden of Desire: Women's Sexual Fantasies as a Gateway to Passion and Pleasure (Paperback)

Okay, this is a nice light read for those wanting to delve into their own fantasy life. Based on fantasy workshops, the authors have been able to classify women's fantasies into six catagories, diagram them, take them apart, and examine how they influence or are influenced by our daily lives. This book also focuses on removing harmful or unwanted sexual fantasies that might be impeding growth in a relationship and discusses when and how to bring up fantasies to a partner that might not be receptive. The authors also caution against going from fantasy to reality unless you can really constrain the environment or keep the fantasy playful with easy ways to escape the situation. Overall, this book was very helpful in sparking more of my imagination, and I can see how it would help those with unwanted fantasies too. So, get ready to get aroused and to think through what's really behind the scenes of your favorite fantasy if you pick this one up.