Customer Reviews

Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I'm betting your liking this film may hinge partly on where you stand on the whole Jessica Simpson thing. Do you love her, loathe her, don't give a dang about her? Me, I don't think much of her singing and I'm leaning towards tepid when it comes to her acting skills. But I think it's beyond debate that she's a straight-up stunner, and my feeling is that she's kind of gotten a bum rap from the press and paparazzi. Acting career-wise, I'm not sure that Jessica Simpson will ever star in a critically acclaimed picture, her best movie so far being Employee of the Month (Widescreen Edition). But that doesn't mean that her cinematic stuff isn't worth checking out. So, yes, I saw PRIVATE VALENTINE: BLONDE & DANGEROUS, and I survived it. Fact is, I even liked it.

Jessica Simpson, minutes into the movie, eventually got on my good side, and she eventually wore down my skepticism. She plays down-and-out actress Megan Valentine whose latest flick has her co-starring with a talking dog. Megan Valentine is sunny and oozes that Hollywood sense of entitlement and, well, let's just call her naive. Her entourage doesn't really like her, her cousin emptied her bank account, and her boyfriend has a boyfriend. So a fit of boozy despondency later, and Megan, looking to make a drastic change, ends up enlisting in the U.S. Army.

You can suss out the developing shenanigans in boot camp. It's pretty much what happens when a Hollywood diva clashes with the military's proud, rigid traditions and long history of structured abuse. The material won't knock your socks off, the jokes are stale, and you might sprain your eyeballs rolling them so much. But what I wasn't expecting was just how appealing Jessica Simpson could be in this role. Underneath the predictable spoiled airhead princess act, there's a core of vulnerability, and it's this element which made me sort of buy into Valentine's journey from superficial and pampered to Army strong and squared away (but still an airhead). Simpson doesn't get points for being a nuanced comedienne here. She gets by on sheer likability and, okay, on her bodacious curves (what can I say, I'm a guy).

We're not treading on comedic gold here. PRIVATE VALENTINE doesn't come close to being as good as PRIVATE BENJAMIN or Stripes (Unrated Extended Cut). You look at a scene like the one with the girls romancing their chocolate bars or Simpson's character demanding for her stunt double when ordered to do exercise drills, and you get an idea of the sort of yucks typified here. Again, Simpson muddles thru on the strength of her appeal.

But her surprisingly decent supporting cast has her back. Vivica A. Fox marches in as the tough drill sergeant with the embarrassing past, and Cheri Oteri steals scenes as the gung-ho re-enlistee. But it's her fellow Army recruits - nicely acted by Aimee Garcia, Jill Marie Jones, and Olesya Rulin - who help to shape Valentine's growth. And it's always nice whenever there's a Steve Guttenberg sighting, if only to let us know that the guy's still alive.

It's hard to overlook the commonality between Megan Valentine and Jessica Simpson herself. Both persons tend to be not taken seriously; their work is considered fluff. In the end, Valentine actually comes off better, because she's in a movie and that allows her closure and a definitive happy ever after. In the end, Private Valentine has done her soul searching and taken steps to take control of her life and her career. In real life, things aren't so clear cut, clarity comes and goes. I guess I'm saying, Jessica Simpson deserves a break or two. Although, part of the equation is that she also needs to make her own breaks. I'm thinking, she ought to try to expand the types of acting parts she gets. "Ditzy" can't be her only preferred niche, can it?

The DVD bonus features suck. There are two very brief deleted scenes that are absolute time wasters: Vivica A. Fox's 1st Sergeant Morely cursing (but bleeped) at paparazzi & the fat paparazzi kid talking smack in his office. The 9-minute Making Of featurette has a fun factor in that the cast talks about how gross it was with the icky swamp and the fear of chiggers and how even scarfing down chocolate bars can get old really quick (re: spit buckets). And that's it for bonus features.

PRIVATE VALENTINE: BLONDE & DANGEROUS (a.k.a. MAJOR MOVIE STAR) is fluff but, unlike Simpson's earlier effort -the soul-killing BLONDE AMBITION - this one is watchable fluff, and I'm recommending it. Plus, who knew having past experience as a pole dancing stripper qualifies as a skill asset in the U.S. Army?

Take this movie for what it is....a enjoyable way to kill a few hours if you expected something oscar worthy you shouldn't have picked it up in the first place. While its not near the best of anything it was still made to entertain and that it does if you just watch it for what it is and don't expect a masterpiece. I was entertained and I think Simpson's acting has improved in this movie she was bubbly, cute and ignorant just as the character was. Everybody likes something different and I think this movie is actually enjoyable if your not heading into it already condemning it. I personally love Simpson I think she is an incredible woman with a good head on her shoulders.

I honestly don't know why so many people hate this movie! I thought it had a great storyline, and was extremely funny! Sexy beautiful Jessica Simpson plays Megan Valentine, an actress who loses everything after doing a bad movie. She thinks joining the Army will take care of her problems. She soon realizes the Army is tough and not how her life used to be. She tries to get out, but the drill Sergeants give her a hard time. She soon makes friends and begins to like it. I highly recommend PRIVATE VALENTINE: BLONDE & DANGEROUS!!!

I have to give the kid credit. Though she is portrayed by the media as a typical dumb blonde (partially her own fault), I saw a mature young woman with more than a bit of brains break through in her performance. This is certainly no movie for everyone, but though totally predictable and clichéd, I liked it.

This doesn't even come close to Private Benjamin, which is what I thought it was ripping off, but in the end, there is little to compare them (though a lot of other people seem to be doing just that).

Being a 24 year Air Force veteran, I can't imagine the basic training scenes are the least bit realistic except on a very shallow level. But so what? It was a story about a spoiled actress finding herself and the military was just the setting. Yeah, a well worn story line, but how many movies out there are really all that original?

MS Simpson gets more than the average share of malignment from the press, though I really think she's brought a lot of it on herself. The kid can really act, but with all the concentration on her love life, tight jeans, and that Chicken of the Sea thing, she has her work cut out for her if she can ever be taken seriously. She's even having trouble with her country music career. Being under a microscope doesn't make performing any easier. I guess since she's Jessica Simpson, she's not allowed to have an off night with her singing, or in this case, what many would call an "off movie."

If she ever gets her stuff together, I'm sure she could prove herself with more serious roles.

Private Valentine is surely fluff, but I certainly don't feel ripped off for my rental fee. Recommended.

After "Blonde Ambition", my expectations for this movie were very low. As I started watching it it seemed better than I expected. It was pretty funny at times and Jessica Simpson worked surprisingly well in the lead role. She's helped by some good supporting actors, especially Vivica A Fox and Cheri Oteri. The plot is extremely predictable and taken directly from films like Private Benjamin and Feds. About halfway into the movie, the film started taking itself a bit too seriously and became less funny. Still it's a decent way to spend 90 minutes. Weak 3 star rating. Would have been a solid 3 stars if the second half had been as good as the first half.

I will start off by saying that I have been a fan of Jessica Simpson since 1999. That being said, I was more impressed with this movie than Blonde Ambition. This movie was never made to be a blockbuster hit, but it succeeds at being entertaining for the duration. Jessica is funny in this movie and has perfect co-stars, including Ryan Sypek. After the movie, I was upset only because I know there is no chance of a sequel, even though I'd LOVE one. I think the connection between Jessica and Ryan is movie worthy--and personally a take-off or sequel with the two of them would be fun. I really suggest everyone give this movie a shot--just don't expect Oscar material--expect to be entertained as you eat some popcorn:)

Good film...realistic. Some might be off base, but not entirely unbelievable. Jessica Simpson does a wonderful job with this plot.

At first i didn't think very much about the plot, but i hoped that it wasn't waste of time. When i started watching it, i just started laughing non-stop!

I didn't watch this movie with any preconceived notions about how good or bad critics said it was. I certainly didn't watch it to judge the acting talents of Ms. Simpson. I enjoyed Employee of the Month and Dukes of Hazzard.

A Lot of people wrote this movie off simply because they dislike Jessica. But this is a really good movie, very girls night movie. She (Jessica) does a great job. I'm a huge fan of Jess and she even shocked me, people need to give a chance. she has great comedic timing and will only get better time (if given the opportunity). this movie is funny,