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The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio : How My Mother Raised 10 Kids on 25 Words or Less

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For those of you who have seen the movie and now have become interested in finding out more about Evelyn Ryan and her remarkable career as mother/jingle writer, my advice: buy the book! I grew up in Defiance, Ohio, and actually attended school with some of the Ryan clan. I remember very vividly when Bruce won the Triumph sports car for the sandwich jingle. It was such an exciting time for little ol' Defiance. Then...Bruce never drove the car to school, nor did we ever see hide nor hair of it again. I never knew why until I read the book!
The book is very true to the times in a small town in the 1950s. People lived a quieter, gentler life. Tuff (Terry Ryan, the author) was a little spitfire that took no nonsense from anyone. It amazed me how she could write about the horrific things her father did and yet not have him come off as the Poster Boy for "Father Grinch of the Year." Tuff's book focuses on her mother as a mother, the keeper of the flame, the lighthouse beam in the dark and stormy night. The book does not focus on the relationship between the mother and the alcoholic father. The egregious acts of the father, in the book, are very quietly "slipped" into the story, but Tuff refrains from characterizing her father as an undesirable parent. Tuff does not let the negativity of his actions influence the positivity of her mother's love, devotion, and talent.
If you've seen the movie, discard the "saintly" portrayal of the mother and the incredulous idea of everytime the Ryans needed money, a miracle happened, and she won a jingle contest. In reality, the miracles DID happen, but the movie does not show all the times Evelyn did not win. The book is a thousand times better than the movie, and, although I think most people will laud the movie for its positive message and its "feel good" quality, like any other movie...the book is way better!

You know how sometimes you read a book, and then a year or two later you can't remember much of anything about it?
Not so with this one. I would bet a lotta money that anyone who has read this book will never, ever forget it. It doesn't hurt that it's one of the best titles of all times, helping make the book unforgettable.
How Mrs. Ryan triumphed and managed to support 10 kids and a weak, alcholic husband by winning jingle-writing contests will go down in literary history. And the book's not saccharine; it doesn't preach; and it doesn't damn. Others among us may damn the 50s, the Catholic church, Mr. Ryan...But Terry Ryan does not.
Besides all those virtues, it's just very, very funny.

Terry Ryan grew up as one of ten children in a chaotic household in Definace, Ohio. Her mother Evelyn worked tirelessly to stretch the small amount of money her father brought home, especially since that husband, Kelly Ryan, was an alcoholic. Evelyn turned to contests to bring in money and prizes to keep her family afloat. A witty, well-read woman who was determined to see the bright side of every situation, Evelyn kept the family together. This is a warm, honest look at life in the 1950's and 60's. After turning to the police and the church for help, the family learns to rely on a close network of family and friends. Most of all, this big family learn to look out for one another and to help whenever they could. The rhythm of life in a big family comes out loud and clear, the constant struggle for space, for recognition, and the many trips to schools, dentists and doctors, even the occasional visit to the police. There are many times when the Ryan family was close to eviction,or completely empty cupboards. The family went without many times, but don't seem to carry a lasting sense of deprivation. Terry Ryan is also very upfront about the effects of her father's drinking, the anger, the violence and the resentment. It is also a look at a woman who seemed to be restricted by times and circumstances expressed her wit and gift for words. This is a wonderful tribute to a mother who was determined to do all she could to give her family what they needed. The monetary struggles are borne with a fierce dignity (although hindsight makes the author realize that it took its toll). Evelyn Ryan's refusal to give in to self pity or anger, and her compassion and understanding for others' shortcomings are remarkable and the greatest legacy any mother could leave her family.

I heard random references to this movie a while back, and I've seen the DVD on the shelves at Blockbuster. The cover of the movie makes it look like some kind of "Yours, Mine, and Ours" farce (not the older version, which is still solid gold, but the lame, slickened-up, modern version of a story that didn't need modernizing) so I've purposely avoided renting it. But while looking through the nonfiction section at the library recently, I saw it in the biographies: The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio: How My Mother Raised 10 Kids on 25 Words or Less. I was intrigued - not just because I didn't know the movie was based on a biography, but also because I hadn't heard the subtitle before. What do you mean "25 Words or Less?," the writer in me wondered (I was less interested in the 10 kids part). I grabbed the book and entered the world of 1950's and 60's midwestern America. The world of the "contest era." The world of the poor, put-upon, persistant Ryan family.

Contests today are, by and large, contests of luck. You pull the instant win cap off your Sprite. You get Park Place on the McDonald's Monopoloy Board. You're the 3rd caller in to the radio station. In the 1950's and 60's, though, major corporations sponsored contests with *huge* payoffs, the bounty going to entries written (typically) with 25 words or less. Jingles, limericks, you name it. Dial soap, Jello, Burma Shave. And many, many others. Send in proof of purchase with your cleverly written entries, and you might win big. Evelyn Ryan sure did. LOTS of times!

Evelyn Ryan always had a knack for writing, and enjoyed a short career writing the op-ed column at her step-grandmother's newspaper when she was a young woman. But then came marriage - to a hard-drinking, hard-working Irish Catholic man named Kelly - and one by one, ten active children. A career in journalism was out of the question, but Evelyn kept her writer's fire alive by filling mountainous piles of notebooks with quick poems and anecdotes, many of which she sold to area newspapers. She also spent countless hours at the ironing board, combining her everyday household chore with the inspiration to write catchy jingles for major contests. For Lucky Strike cigarettes:
Send me laundry, send me dough
Send me Luckies to send my beau
I'm true to him, he's true to me
And we're true to Luckies, eternally.
She won $25 for that entry, money crucial to the care of such a large family, and with a father that typically drank the better part of his weekly paychecks.

Terry Ryan, one of Evelyn and Kelly's daughters and the author of this biography, includes many of the little jingles that won her mother some big and not-so-big prizes. She tells of a housefull of won appliances, the trip to New York for her mother and brother after a particularly large win, the Christmas her mother bestowed the kids with won presents she had been stashing in her closet all year long. Terry writes of some close calls - medically, financially, domestically. Her writing is so totally engaging that you laugh and cry and feel every little emotion just like you would if you were just one more child in that brood of Ryan kids. You want to cheer when they cheer for another prize win, you want to yell and scream when their father loses his judgement to the beer (again), you feel the anxiety of waiting every day for the postman - Pokey - as they wait to hear from the bank (on the foreclosure) or the brand (for the contest win that just might save the day).

It's not all serious, though. There are many moments of clear gaiety. Like when they learn their cat can open doors (by turning the KNOB!). Or when that same cat adopts an orphaned chick as a member of her newest litter. The frequency with which Evelyn forgets she has hidden food in the dryer (and fuses cake donuts, bananas, you name it, into the fibers of the clothes!). Or Evelyn's method for mending her girdle, keeping the oven door on, fixing the melted gears in the family car. I laughed loud and long at the story of their garbage disposal - a tempermental beast that only worked on occasion. They kept it switched "on," and whenever they heard the trap start to churn - day or night, tragedy or no - all the kids would clamor into the kitchen and start feeding the piles of trash into the sink. There are also moments of pride, like when two of the Ryan boys are selected to play minor league baseball, or when some of the other kids get scholarships for school.

Almost all of Evelyn's writing came from the ready-made material all around her - her family. As a result, many of her poems portray the wonders and worries of family life, and I really identified with them. For instance:
Lawn Time No See
When I survey
my barren plot...
Long stamping ground
For tyke and tot...
I must conclude
It's clear (alas!)
One cannot grow
Both kids and grass!

I also love this one she wrote about her boys, whom she helped as often as she could with their progress and success in sports:
Fielder's Choice
There are moms who can cook,
And moms who can sew,
And moms who will come
When they're beckoned;
But give me that pearl
Of a mom-type girl...
A mom who can slide
Into second.

And finally, letting her guard down just a little to vent:
Complaint
Forgive me if I mutter, Lord,
Against my bitter cup;
But why can't bread `n' butter
Ever land with the butter up?

These types of poems often earned her anywhere from $1-$25, but it was the corporate contests that really kept this family afloat. The whole affair was a business to Evelyn, as it was to many (many!) people in those days. There were 4 unofficial "rules" to any entry, above and beyond filling out the necessary forms and making sure to include the proofs of purchase. All entries needed to be written thus:
1. Make your statement.
2. Use a conjunction like "yet," "while," or "so."
3. Use a series of three nouns ("the mystic three").
4. Include an unusual word or turn of phrase (called a "Red Mitten"), preferably at the end.
There were societies formed for the improvement of a contester's skills or for the socialization of people hooked on this lucrative hobby. Evelyn herself joined a charming group of women called the Affidaisies (a play on the word "affadavit," documents necessary for winners to claim big prizes). In the book, Terry begins to see her mother as a person as she learns what contesting means to her. It's the fulfillment of a dream, really, that makes Evelyn so passionate about what she does. It may not be the writing career she envisioned, but in a way, the contesting life allows Evelyn to be outspoken, independent, and keep her mind engaged on more than just cleaning up after 10 children.

I found this book to be funny, inspiring, sometimes sad, but altogether uplifting. Terry dedicated the book to her late mother, but also "the little bit of Evelyn in all of us". I'd like to think there IS a little bit of Evelyn Ryan in me. I'd like to think that I could have the same passion for my family and for writing that she lived every day. I'd like to think that I have the wits about me to survive just about anything. I'd also like to think that I have some of the faith she showed in getting through some very rough times. I'll leave you with one last poem, something Evelyn wrote in her final days and that Terry read aloud to her siblings as they were gathered around Evelyn's deathbed. It gives an idea of just what may have fueled this amazing woman through more than 80 years of an incredible life:
Every time I pass the church
I stop and make a visit
So when I'm carried in feet first
God won't say, "Who is it?"

I loved this book, and am sure I will enjoy reading it again at some point in the future. Evelyn Ryan had 10 children and an alcoholic husband, who managed to drink away a significant proportion of his earnings, leaving her barely able to feed her family, never mind provide for other costs (unforeseen and known). One of the most inspirational aspects of this book is Evelyn's attitude - she doesn't appear to have wasted much time feeling sorry for herself or ranting and raving at her weak husband, rather she just gets on with finding a way to remove barriers and to do the best by her family. As the title suggests, a significant proportion of the family's income comes from Evelyn's skill and success in entering (and winning) competitions - from cars and large cash prizes, to appliances and suitable Christmas gifts, she wins them all. Her daughter obviously inherited her talent with words, for she has written this account of growing up (poor but essentially happy) in a large family in 1950s and 1960s small town America in a way which has you completely hooked - from the little humorous events which make you laugh out loud, to the heart-warming moments which almost bring tears to your eyes - a great story about a great woman.

Terry Ryan has written a touching memoir of her plucky, talented, and wise mother, Evelyn Ryan. The writing style is as straightforward, midwestern, and pragmatic as the remarkable family it describes.

Both an object lesson in the importance of perseverance in the face of adversity and a record of one woman's inspiring optimism, this book also reflects the texture of life in 1950s mid-America -- when cars, washing machines, lawn mowers, and TVs were not yet taken for granted.

Almost an oral history, it will become part of the record of that fast-fading time period, partly thanks to Evelyn's foresight in saving her letters and the many jingles that she entered in an amazing array of contests, and that enabled her to keep her struggling family afloat. Especially moving is the love this practical and humorous mother inspired (and continues to inspire) in her ten children, and the way they managed to love, judge, and forgive their father all at the same time.

This book brought me to tears; I'm going to send a copy to my 83-year-old father, both to remind him of the times he's been through and how much I love him.

Evelyn Ryan, a housewife with ten children, managed to literally keep the wolf from the door with her winning ways. Married to an abusive husband who drank the family's sole income as quickly as he earned it, Evelyn sought help from her priest. He advised her to sit tight. A nun suggested she take in laundry. More laundry was all she needed.

So, equipped with nothing more than ready wit, determination, and cockeyed optimism she did what many did during the 1950s - she entered every contest imaginable and she won. Whether Dr. Pepper, Kleenex tissues or a supermarket buying spree, she brought home enough to house, feed, and clothe her six sons and four daughters.

Once, when her husband had secretly taken out a second mortgage on their home and they owed the bank $4,000, she won $3,440.64, a car, a European trip, and two watches. Always thinking and writing, she kept a notepad at the ready on the tip of her ironing board.

Miraculously, she even managed to leave her children a modest inheritance. But, more than that, this remarkable woman left them a legacy of love and the awareness of the indomitability of the human spirit.

Beautifully and touchingly read by the author (child no. 6).

Terri Ryan's loving memoir of her mother made a good movie, but an even better book. Evelyn Ryan marries young to a man she finds out is an alcoholic. He drinks every night, is prone to violent outbursts and squanders his paycheck on booze. Living in the 1950's, and a practicing Catholic, there was no support for divorce or birth control. She struggles almost alone to raise her 10 children with very little financial help from her husband and a small amount from her sister-in-law. Her positive attitude and courage were astounding. She saved her family over and over again through her talent for entering the word contests that were very popular at the time. Already living in poverty, she pulled the family out from the brink of disaster over and over again. To her credit, her children all graduated from high school and most even from college.

One may be tempted to judge, but it WAS the 1950's and women did not have the opportunities that they have now. Many women are still living in Evelyn's situation in the 21st century. A story of true grit and courage.

It's rare that I would use the word "inspiring" to describe a book, finding most books that purport to be inspirational are in fact overly sentimental and predictable. But this book deserves that description.

Using clear, straightfoward prose, Terry Ryan tells the story of how her mother, married to an alcoholic who drank much of the family's small income, raised ten children in a small Ohio town. Advised at one point to take in laundry, Mrs. Ryan chose instead to earn much-needed extra income by entering jingle-writing contests, and writing humorous poems and short stories. She won frequently enough, and had enough of her poems and stories published, to keep the family afloat despite their financial difficulties. Important as the money was, it was also her emotional strength that kept the family going.

Her story would no doubt be worthy of respect no matter who told it, but in Terry Ryan's hands it has gone beyond the mundane and cliched to become something moving and memorable.

The town of Defiance during the 1950's is well-described, from the tree-shaded streets leading to the beautiful red-stone library overlooking the two rivers, to the plentiful Indian arrow heads, the small downtown shops, and the importance of the church, sports and factories. I remember Defiance as Ryan describes it. This book is a lovely memorial to Ryans' mother Evelyn, portraying her love, courage, optimism and great wit under such difficult circumstances. The book was great fun to read: the verses and jingles, the funny family tales, and of course, the sweepstakes wins always just in the nick of time to save the family.